...or people who can fake it reasonably well, right?
Nothing could ever go wrong with having people lie about themselves.
This is the thing.
We begin to teach our young aviators from the beginning to compartmentalize their emotions. But we don't teach them how to go back and deal with those same emotions after it's over and safe to do so. They stay locked up, many times forever.
I use my experience because I feel like it needs to be told. Would something have been different? Would I have qualled at the boat instead of DQing twice? I don't know. I do know now that at the time I really didn't have any business in a jet at night behind the boat. I was dealing with a hell of a lot at home, trying to compartmentalize and convince myself that I was bulletproof, that I could handle it. My class advisor knew about my situation, my chain of command knew. They'd let me know if I needed to sit the bench for a while. But that never happened.
Everyone always asked me at every step of the way, "Hey Swanee, how were you a Commodore's List stud in flight school, graduate with a really good NSS, and then struggle through almost all of the FRS, (except one phase)." My friends kind of knew what was going on. They helped me in the same way anyone else would help their friend. But as young 1st Lts and JGs, we were limited in what we could do. And no one wanted to stop flying- especially me. I loved flying.
So was it the stress of dealing with a wife with bipolar disorder who was in and out of mental hospitals that took me down? Yeah. It was. Millions of dollars and years of training wasted because our culture and institutions view on mental health. Because I didn't believe that if I came forward and said, "Guys, this is too much, I need a break, I need help in managing this" that I would get it. Because when I did say it, I was told to compartmentalize and move on. Because after DQing the first time, I had an O-4 NFO, as the senior member of my PRB, tell me that he didn't understand why I was having a hard time, flying the ball should be easy,
That is where leadership failed me. Instead of helping me when I needed it most, they pushed me harder and harder; and when I failed they took my flight status, called me a fallen angel, gave me an adverse FITREP, and treated me like a broken toy.
So yes, leadership can do a hell of a lot more to support guys like me. There are a lot of us out there, you probably don't know it because they are too afraid of losing one of the things that really keeps them going.
As far as allowing folks with mental health issues in- I get it, in times when we don't need officers it's an easy waiver to deny. But in this day and age when doctors throw pills around like skittles on Halloween we're probably turning away some folks who could do really well. If we need people, let them in.
And once they're in, we should be doing what we need to do to keep them (if that's what they want). How many angry and disgruntled pilots are leaving for greener pastures would be a lot happier, and maybe even want to stay, if we invested in maintaining our mental healthcare as much as we do physical and dental?
