What is the best way to convince parents?

[msm]

Hi,

This may be a bit off-topic...
I have been looking into joining the Navy through BDCP, but my parents, my mom especially, are extremely resistant to the idea. What would be the best way to help them see that its not all bad?
I am at college, and my mom sends me emails almost daily about how she would die if something happened to me. I want to go through with this without completely alienating them. Any thoughts?

 

[Brett327]

Hi,

This may be a bit off-topic...
I have been looking into joining the Navy through BDCP, but my parents, my mom especially, are extremely resistant to the idea. What would be the best way to help them see that its not all bad?
I am at college, and my mom sends me emails almost daily about how she would die if something happened to me. I want to go through with this without completely alienating them. Any thoughts?

There have been threads about this before, so try a search and see what you come up with. Parental issues are tough. If they have fears about your personal safety, you might try to show them all the famous military aviators who are still around today in positions of prominence. Astronauts, CEOs, politicians, Presidents, etc. Your inclination to not completely alienate them is a good one, but recalcitrant parents sometimes need a little time to get used to the idea, so even if things aren't peachy keen at first, they will likely mellow out with time. Welcome aboard!

Brett

 

[Lawman]

One, the money. Unless your folks are paying your college themselves compair the amount of money/experiance/leadership training you will have compaired to the average college grad. Even by taking what most would consider a 6-8 year break between the college and civilian proffesional sector, you will still have an edge.

Second, have them meet the people your working out your contract with. These are proffesional Navy personel, they will know how to answer the FAQ's of conserned parents better then anyone as they do it on a day to day basis.

Third, assure them this isnt just some little fad of what seems cool. Believe me my parents always believed I was going military and they being military themselves always supported it, but the day I was contracted it seriously freaked my mom and day out because it was a wakeup call that thier little boy wasnt that 8 year old kid they had in their minds. Whatever decision you make, let it be your decision. Your parents support is a great thing to have, but if you should have to stand the test without it, know that on the other side they will somehow see that this choice that you make, to take the oath and place yourself in the service of others, is yours and yours alone to make. And if they truly care about your future, they will understand and support you.

Good luck,
Drew

 

[ItsTurboTime]

When I told my parents I was looking into the military they thought that was A-OK. But they were thinking Air Force, Navy, or Coast Gaurd. When I told them I chose the Marines they freaked. Don't worry; you're definitely not the only one who's going/gone through this. My parents are fine now. It's a combination of discussion and time that really does the trick.

 

[sarnav]

Take them to see Annapolis, heard it is a great representation of the military.

Seriously though, it is your decision. While it is nice to have there full support going in they will be proud of you regardless when they see you putting on the bars. Leading men (and women) is not going to make you the most wealthy person on the planet but there is something to be said for those who raise there hand to serve. Even more so today when the country is at war. Good luck, and if you do join you will not regret it.

 

[Ex Rigger]

When I told my parents I was looking into the military they thought that was A-OK. But they were thinking Air Force, Navy, or Coast Gaurd. When I told them I chose the Marines they freaked.

You want to be a pilot......what exactly is the difference? They all put their lives on the line equally every day.

 

[DocT]

You want to be a pilot......what exactly is the difference? They all put their lives on the line equally every day.

Parents believe what the rest of society believes: that the Marine Corps will make you a sociopathic killer, Marine life is inherently more dangerous/more violent than the other branches, only ruffians and hooligans join the Marine Corps and then only to escape the law, etc.

It's the same old $hit perpetuated by movies and books. Of course it's irrational...for the most part.

 

[ItsTurboTime]

You want to be a pilot......what exactly is the difference? They all put their lives on the line equally every day.

That's part of what I had to explain to them. They had alot of "gut feeling" reactions and preconceived illogical ideas. My mom was in the Navy and my dad was in the CG. My mom was a dentist so she saw both sailors and Marines (late 70's). My favorite quote from my mother during the convincing process was "The Marines aren't exactly the cream of the crop." I doubt she'll ever live that down.

 

[KBayDog]

You want to be a pilot......what exactly is the difference? They all put their lives on the line equally every day.

Google these words: Sara Lister

 

[Thisguy]

What would be the best way to help them see that its not all bad?

Tell 'em if you join the military, you won't be liviing in thier basement after you graduate. Hook, line, and sinker.

Try to explain to them that you want to find a job you'll truly enjoy, and that getting paid to do it is icing on the cake.

In the words of Office Space: "Man wasn't meant to live like this!" (or something like that)

 

[ItsTurboTime]

Think for a while about some of your reasons. That office space comment really isn't that far off base for me. When I chose my major of mechanical engineering I totally expected to just get a regular engineering job in an office or manuf plant, until a) I tried that in the form of two different summer internships and b) I found out what else was out there. During my internships I told myself that I liked it, but I was lying to myself. When I found out I had options I was able to admit that I hated it. Then I could go on and on about what I didn't like, i.e. complete lack of self-discipline and motivation in the workplace, etc, and those reasons made very good sense to my parents, having both served themselves.

 

[RockyMtnNFO]

The fact of the matter is you may never be able to convince your parents it is a good idea. What if they never say, "Son, we want this for you too." What then? At some point you may have to choose what you want over what your parents want. Mothers worry but they still love you even if you join the Military.

 

[pennst8]

You could always pull what one of my friends just did... not tell them until its too late to object.

His situation was a little different. He decided back in the fall to enlist in the Marines. This is after quitting school for a year because he just wasn't happy in college. His parents were opposed to it - so he just didn't talk to them about it until the night before he was leaving for Parris Island.

"Hey Mom and Dad, see you in a couple months, I'm going to South Carolina". He graduated from Parris Island last week and his parents no longer have any objections, they couldn't be prouder.

I don't [FONT=&quot]recommend [/FONT]this path, but people do it. Ultimately its your life, you have to make your own decisions about what to do with it.

 

[HAL Pilot]

My favorite quote from my mother during the convincing process was "The Marines aren't exactly the cream of the crop." I doubt she'll ever live that down.

What's to live down????

 

[DanMa1156]

My mom was fairly opposed to me joining up with the Navy -- but make a deal with her. Look at all your civilian options and if you still choose the military to be the right one for you logically and passionately, there is minimal argument left to be had.

That was the deal with my mom.