Types of gov't as explained by cows.

[Squid]

FEUDALISM
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the
cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows. The cows are cared for by ex-chicken
farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the
government took from the chicken farmers. The government
gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you
should need.

FACISM
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them,
and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all
share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The government takes both cows and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows.
The government takes both cows and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows.
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows.
At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill
out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows.
Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors
try to take the cows and kill you.

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

 

[OracleMSU]

I've got some more to add.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. British Democracy

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

 

[OracleMSU]

And more...

SADISM: You have two cows. You shoot them both and drown yourself in the milk.

APARTHEID: You have two cows. You give the black cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.

WELFARE STATE: You have two cows. You milk them and give them the milk to drink.

UNITED NATIONS: You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.

IDEALISM: You have two cows. You marry and your wife milks them.

REALISM: You have two cows. You get married and you still milk them.

 

[OracleMSU]

How about some more, shall we?

COLOMBIAN GOVERNMENT
You have two cows. The government thinks one is smuggling drugs and it is shot. The other cow actually was smuggling drugs.

AMERICAN COLONIAL GOVERNMENT
you have two cows. the state government takes one, the British government takes one and you owe another for taxes, and the church gets all the milk.

HINDU SOCIETY
You have two cows. You use them to do labor, provide milk, etc. until they no longer can, and then you worship them.

MARXISM
You have two cows. One of your cows doesn't work and exploits the other cow which works. This is the way it has always been throughout history.

CONSPIRACY THEORY
What the government calls cows, you call aliens.

 

[Squid]

does anyone have the 'grass is greener' version with regards to religion? I saw it on a greeting card some year back. It went something like:

The grass is greener on the other side.

Catholicism: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's grass.

Agnosticism: Is there really grass on the other side?

Athiesm: The grass is man's creation.


etc, etc, etc.