Tower this is .......

[gregsivers]

Yea, HT-18 went by Factory Hand. I’m not sure why, I’m sure there is history to it but I didn’t take the time to find out.

Everyone I've asked has no clue why its Factoryhand. Even some of the old sim guys who were IPs back in the day don't know why. Why it can't be something cool like Eightball or Bladerunner I'll never know.

 

[skidkid]

Everyone I've asked has no clue why its Factoryhand. Even some of the old sim guys who were IPs back in the day don't know why. Why it can't be something cool like Eightball or Bladerunner I'll never know.

Becasue its a TH-57 and cool calsigns just dont really suit it.

 

[SteveG75]

From "Sled Driver: The World's Fastest Jet" by Brian Shul:

Shul describes one flight he will never forget and one that's so comical it has to be true.

While listening to air traffic radio chatter from Los Angeles Center, Shul heard the voice of a Cessna pilot asking for his ground speed.

The air traffic center told the plane he was going 90 knots on the ground.

Moments later, a Twin Beech radioed for his speed in a rather superior tone. The controller told the second plane its ground speed was 145 knots.

Then, a Navy F-18 pilot came up on frequency for his ground speed check."Before the center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, [the F-18] has a ground speed indicator in that million dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a read out?" Shul explains. "Then I got it -- ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what their true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet."

The Navy jet was travelling at 620 on the ground. Shul says he wanted to chime in as well, but remembered his Blackbird Aspen 20 crewmate Walter Watson had complete control over the radio.

"I thought, it must be done -- that Hornet must die and die now," Shul said. "Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat."

Watson asked the controller for the SR-71's ground speed.

"Aspen 20, I show you at 1,842 knots across the ground," the controller replied.

"Ah, Center, much thanks. We're showing closer to 1,900 on the money," Watson said.

"Roger that Aspen, your equipment is probably more accurate than ours," the controller said. "You boys have a good one."

They never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.

 

[AllAmerican75]

From "Sled Driver: The World's Fastest Jet" by Brian Shul:

That was funny. It appears that I have yet another book to add to my reading list.

 

[Gatordev]

Becasue its a TH-57 and cool calsigns just dont really suit it.

I don't know why they didn't just get it over with and switch their JNAP to "Handjob."

 

[skizkit]

Fastest jet.

Funniest one on here...!

 

[The Chief]

Still a bit slow, so here is another one just in:

==============================================

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air
flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:

"US Air 2771, where the Hell are you going?! I told you to turn
right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right
there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between
C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take
forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till
I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in
about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you,
when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

The ground control frequency then fell silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her
current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick
was definitely running high.

Then an unknown pilot broke the silence, keying his microphone, asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

 

[Crowbar]

I heard this in Orlando's class B:

Cessna: Approach, Cessna 123 is doing aerial photography, and we'd like to start with area number two.
Approach: You want to start with area number two, then what would you like to do?
Cessna: We're going to be there about 10 minutes, then we'd like to work area number one for about 10 minutes.
Approach: So you want to do number one after you do number two?
Cessna: Yes, sir.
(long pause)
Approach: Well, that got a big laugh out of everybody here, you're approved as requested.

 

[Brett327]

I heard this in Orlando's class B:

Cessna: Approach, Cessna 123 is doing aerial photography, and we'd like to start with area number two.
Approach: You want to start with area number two, then what would you like to do?
Cessna: We're going to be there about 10 minutes, then we'd like to work area number one for about 10 minutes.
Approach: So you want to do number one after you do number two?
Cessna: Yes, sir.
(long pause)
Approach: Well, that got a big laugh out of everybody here, you're approved as requested.

I love it when ATC shows a little levity and/or personality.

Brett

 

[goplay234]

Here's one from a buddy of mine...

IP:Hey Dan, how about you call Atlanta Center and give them a courtesy call.
Dan:Sure thing, sir.
Dan: Atlanta Approach....uh....how ya doing?


And one from me....
During an AIC that went totally down the crapper....
Me: Shogun 11, 2 groups...uh...range....azimuth...uh....lead...no north group...uh...braa....uhh
(I unkey realizing that I sound like a total tool.)
Fighter: Whatever, Fox 3....
Hysterical laughing ensues throughout the plane...

 

[Brett327]

And one from me....
During an AIC that went totally down the crapper....
Me: Shogun 11, 2 groups...uh...range....azimuth...uh....lead...no north group...uh...braa....uhh
(I unkey realizing that I sound like a total tool.)
Fighter: Whatever, Fox 3....
Hysterical laughing ensues throughout the plane...

Way to be an SA builder.

Brett

 

[Jay610]

As long as we're on the classics:
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet",
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots
(Marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By
Maintenance Engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident. .
------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left
inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed
on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable
level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're
for.
P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief
search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to
straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
And The Best One For Last!!
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget

 

[raptor10]

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Dont mean to nitpick but what airline has "target radar"

 

[A4sForever]

.....
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident. .

By the way ... that's incorrect.

 

[Jay610]

That was contained in the e-mail forwarded to me... I apologize for the "facts".