The Master Chief

[USCGaviator]

A crusty old Master Chief found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Master Chief for conversation.

"Excuse me, Master Chief, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little....relax and enjoy yourself."

The Master Chief just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Master Chief, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

 

[The Chief]

LoL.

 

[A4sForever]

We need to take this thread down ASAP ... once The Chief sees it --- there will be NO STOPPING HIM !!! WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REASON WITH HIM !!!

*edit* ^ Uh-oh ... he's already seen it ....

 

[The Chief]

Master Chief Wisdom:

Dog, scampering across railroad tracks, failed to completely clear the tracks before the approaching train cut off the end of his tail. Scampering back to retrieve said short piece of his tail, the train cut off his head.

Moral: Do not lose your head over a little piece of tail.

 

[A4sForever]

^ Now, see what I mean??? ... we (AW) have created a MONSTER.

 

[AllAmerican75]

^ Now, see what I mean??? ... we (AW) have created a MONSTER.

It could be worse. . . . .

 

[HueyCobra8151]

A group of NCOs and a group of Officers take a train to a conference. Each Officer holds a ticket. But the entire group of NCOs has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The Officers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant NCOs will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly one of the Sergeants calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the NCOs jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Officers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the NCOs slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.

For the return trip the Officers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the NCOs didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of them announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Officers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All the NCOs leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Sergeant enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Officers and says: “Ticket, please!”

And the moral of the story? Officers like to use the methods of the NCOs, but they don’t really understand them

--

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten Officers and one Sergeant.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.

They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the Sergeant said he would let go of the rope since Sergeants are used to doing everything for the Corps. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.

When he finished his moving speech all the Officers began to clap…

Moral: Never underestimate the powers of a Sergeant.