Personal Statements
Well just my two bits...
I've been working with some gentlemen that I work with, and it becomes obviously apparent where people are at by what they say in their personal statement. I would discourage you from being too "me-centric." Obviously everyone can see from your package the numerous things you have accomplished (eval, awards, scores, etc.) so it is redundant to state that in your statement.
What you can't see in your package is WHO YOU ARE, what kind a attributes you have, what is your motivation, how do you use your skills in positions you already fill. Ultimately you don't have to be wearing bars to be a leader. I can go to work and lead a group of peers into contributing to the MWR and rank is not an issue. So "I" believe it is imperitive that you are currently using your talents and attributes to positvely impact the people you see everyday.
With that said, aside from the everyday personal aspect of continuing to ensure the command you leave is better off then when you got there. You have to somehow come across in a short amount of space (it is really distracting to carry on and on, be short and succinct) what it is about you that makes you a good candidate to become an officer. These are obviously good things to be thinking about for boards also.
The first couple of times I was preparing for the program, I was very conceited, and arrogant. I imagine it was pretty appauling to endorse me for some of my board's members because it was obvious I was immature and unready.
Yet, I have since done a considerable amount of maturing, understanding the values of humility, passion, conviction, and grace. I consider it no effect of merit that I've been accepted this past year. I understand that there are plenty of guys out there, like you, who are amply capable of doing the job I aspire to achieve. So I consider it an honor to be welcomed into the proud distinction of officers in the Naval Service, or at least given the opportunity to join them.
I would encourage anyone desiring to apply to develop some solid and concrete reasons for possible acceptance. Give yourself some clarity in exactly what it is you feel is YOUR purpose. Coming to these realizations may actually send you down a different path, not worse or better, just different.
For others it will solidify in your mind what it is that you are being called to do, why you have this BURNING desire inside you that you didn't put there, that cannot be removed or put out, and will put you in a confident resolute position when posed with the task of formulating your Personal Statement or answering a board members questions. Knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you are going will go miles for you all.
So, with your statement in the balance, express yourself, your desires, your plan, your commitments, and how you use those things to impact the Navy. I know it sounds complicated, but it is. Continue to refine, seek input, and understand that to accomplish anything great you will always have opposition.
With all that said... HERE is my personal statement. I hope it helps some of you...
I have long had the ambition to become a US Naval officer and aviator. I was onboard the USS CORONADO when I first heard about the STA-21 program, and I have since been continuously preparing myself to accomplish this goal. I have been blessed with an extremely supportive family, and have been fortunate enough to be mentored by some of the best Sailors in the Navy. These influences have helped in guiding my efforts to improve both myself, and the Navy.
Being in a leadership position on a ship has taught me more than just how to get the job done. It taught me how much I can positively affect the Sailors I work with. Over the past year and a half I’ve maintained a 4.0 GPA as a full-time student at college, earned my MTS at Fleet Training Center San Diego, neared certification as a private pilot with over 5 solo hours as Pilot In Command, and led a weekly class for my family and several others in a small group for a church of over 5,000 members. Through these activities and as an instructor at my present command, I’ve used numerous opportunities to make a positive impact on others. These experiences have continued to mold me into a better leader.
My plan is that once accepted into the STA-21 program I will maintain my pursuit of selfless service to the Navy and my community. Once accepted into the STA-21 program, I intend to complete an Aerospace Engineering degree and attend my designator training with a continued commitment to excellence. I know I have set some pretty lofty goals for myself, but I am confident that I can achieve them. I am currently 24 years old and request a one-year age waiver for the pilot option. I know I can succeed as a pilot and officer by bringing the professional and committed persona I possess today. With the board’s approval and God’s blessing, I hope to bear the Navy Wings of Gold with the professional dedication that makes the Navy proud of its officers.
Very Respectfully,
STA21Pilot
1 Cor 1:27-31
