Separation anxiety

[wonderwoman]

My husband is thinking of applying for SWO as one of this three choices...but my concern is that he would be gone all the time. I understand many Special Warfare Officiers end up on ships...anyone have any insight? What about Iintell? Are they gone much?

 

[JBM]

SWO and Special Warfare are very very different fields. I'll let people who have been there explain better, but know a SWO is on a ship. A Special Warfare Officer (SEAL) "blows stuff up" for his money.

 

[CAMike]

As I think back to my active duty and I compared the "deployed time" for Aviators vs. SWO's I'd have to say it's comparable. "Special Ops" folks can dissapear for both short periods and longer periods of time depending on the mission. As a SWO we did our normal 6 months out every 18 months if memory serves. But in the 12 months "off" we went out a lot more than other ships in our DESRON. We often had last minute mini deployments to perform "LEO Ops" (Law Enforcement Operations). There were a lot of 2 to 6 week assignments at sea with only a week or less back at homeport between these gigs. The DESRON sold it to us the 'Pina Colada Cruise". What a deal! Anyway I digress. I think each individual's career, command they belong to, and needs of the NAVY can make a direct comparison for each warfare specialty very hard to calculate. Best of luck in your decision. Tell him to do what he thinks he will like best. Every Warfare Specialty has mostly great people in it.

 

[JBM]

Every Warfare Specialty has mostly great people in it.

Absolutely true. It really is the people that make the difference.

On a side note each command usually has a spouse's club where you could meet up with other wives too. Regardless of what job he choses meeting with/talking to these groups could better help you understand what he is going through and what you both might expect.

 

[Goob83]

My husband is thinking of applying for SWO as one of this three choices...but my concern is that he would be gone all the time. I understand many Special Warfare Officiers end up on ships...anyone have any insight? What about Iintell? Are they gone much?

TO be frank if you are dependant on your husband for anything SWO will be the death of your marriage. Then if you are not dependent on him for anything, when he is around you will possibly dislike the fact he is messing up your routine.

Food for thinking read it for what it is.

 

[HH-60H]

My husband is thinking of applying for SWO as one of this three choices...but my concern is that he would be gone all the time. I understand many Special Warfare Officiers end up on ships...anyone have any insight? What about Iintell? Are they gone much?

To be honest, all officer's from all communities are gone alot. I am slightly exaggerating, but for your purposes at the beginning of your husband's Naval career it is a good assumption to make.

 

[villanelle]

If he is thinking of going SWO, yes, he will be gone a lot. Really, if he's joining the Navy, no mater what he does, chances are very good that he will be gone a lot. It's the nature of the beast.

What "a lot" means does vary from job to job, and even in the same job. He may be assigned to a ship that is out more than normal, or he may hit one that is going through a slightly lighter period. But he will be gone, and it will interfere with your life in a million annoying ways, and it will be frustrating. And even when he's home there will be times he stands duty and you don't see him much, or where he has to work weekends, or where he comes home from work and proceeds to spend the rest of the evening working. This is the inescapable reality of Navy life.

If this sounds intolerable to you, then no matter what he choses, it probably won't work out well for you.

 

[wonderwoman]

hmmm. i knew about the possibility of the deployment but I was also told by the recruiter that its never more than 6 months. even then its a long time. We have a 6 month old and one on the way...I'm starting to have doubts about it...what % do you occurs oversees. He is going for Pilot, Intel and then SWO..March 15th board

 

[CAMike]

Unfortunately Wonderwoman- Most warfare specialty jobs in the Navy are at sea more than one would typically think. I'm not sure if this is an option for him but if possible he could go Admin Officer(Designator 1300ish?). I knew a couple of them and they had such prestigious titles like "NASC Legal Officer" etc.. Actually, until I met this person I had no idea that the Navy had 8AM to 4PM 5 days a week positions. Both he and you will make it through the hard times together.

 

[Morgan81]

First off, recruiters don't always give the best information. Not bashing them, lord knows I wouldn't be here without mine, but he didn't have all the answers since he was a SWO.
I know guys who got hit with IAs and were in Iraq for 13 months for one guy, granted he was single without kids, but who knows if that came into play. Point is, crap happens and you both need to be prepared.
I'm just a primary stud, so don't take my word for gospel. Search this site out and you'll get a better idea.

 

[Spekkio]

so...you telling me that he will be gone a lot? i thougt it depends on which program u get accepted for..? any insights?

Didn't you ask this question on another thread? Didn't people tell you to expect that your husband will be deployed "a lot?"

There is no such thing as "guarunteeing" anything when it comes to deployment time. If your husband has been gone 5 months and 29 days and then someone decides to drive another plane into a building, then his ship might turn around and go back out. That's the way it goes.

 

[Herc_Dude]

We have a 6 month old and one on the way...I'm starting to have doubts about it...

What the hell did this recruiter tell you? What were you expecting?!?!? You will not be the only one with a kid or two on your hip kissing your husband goodbye for 6+ months, and you will probably do it a few times. Its the nature of the beast. If someone has sold you on something different consider yourself lucky you found the best source for this kind of info anywhere - AirWarriors. If this is going to be a problem I suggest you talk to your husband and have him choose a different career path immediately. For the sake of your kids and marriage, make sure everyone is clear about the possibilities of the future. Many families make it work, but others have problems - and thats just not fair to your kids. Best of luck.

 

[Dirty]

...told by the recruiter that its never more than 6 months........I'm starting to have doubts about it

Haha, or 6 1/2, 7, perhaps 8... That fine recruiter didn't say anything about work-ups by chance?? COMPTUEX here, JTFEX there... i.e., three weeks here, month there, all while your "home". I pity women like you who have no idea what you're getting into. Search a couple of the wives on here and PM them, your first indoc to the wives club. But first and foremost, your now (or will be soon) married to the Navy. If your man wants family time send him P-3's, even better send him Intel in a P-3 squadron... Good luck and remember it's a zero-sum game.

 

[Jen]

Wonderwoman,

I can't help with deployments, as I have yet to go through one. But, I can tell you that there is no certainty that your husband will only be gone 6 months. The fact is that most deployments are actually longer than 6 months (usually lasting about 6-9 months, with some even being a year). This doesn't even include work-ups which will actually cause them to be gone more than that. This is part of the military. There's nothing you can say or do about it. I know it sounds frightening, but if you love your husband and you want him to be happy (and this is what will make him happy), I say get behind him and support him through it.

My husband went through OCS about a year and a half ago. He got liberty on week 6 I believe. They rarely get liberty before that. As someone stated, you can get it earlier (week 4 or 5 I think) but don't expect it. Candio-phase (weeks 10 - 12) they have a lot more freedom and a lot more priviledges. Don't get discouraged by everyone's comments. They are merely trying, in their best way, to tell you the truth. You have to remember that recruiters are trying to sale their goals. Sometimes they'll tell you things just to make you happy (to meet their numbers). Take things with a grain of salt and then come to AW to ask and they'll give you the cold hard truth! It may sound harsh from some of them, but they really do have a lot of experience and a lot of truth behind what they tell you.

I suggest you ask to join the Private Spouses Corner and ask any questions you may have there. There are many spouses in there that can help and many who have been through the same position you're in now.

Good luck to you and your family.

 

[Amall]

so...you telling me that he will be gone a lot? i thougt it depends on which program u get accepted for..? any insights?

I actually laughed outloud when I read this. Are you serious?

The Navy isn't a job, its a commitment. Wherever you are stationed and he is on sea duty, expect him to be gone 50% of the time.

My advice- become self-sufficient, make friends with other spouses, send him lots of dirty pictures.