That Onion Article is hilarious, but on a serious note, I'm a 2-blade Sensor die hard. I've tried all the various alternatives that Gillette has tried to shove down our throats, including the three bladed wonder that they "sneak" in to the already confiscatorily priced Sensor 5-pack. Those wide 3, 4, and now 5 blade razors are unwieldy and an abomination to manly shavers across this land! I require no extra "lubricating strip" or "whisker spreading fins" in order to tame my beard. The perfect simplicity of the classic Sensor blade is all I, or any self-respecting man should ever need.
Brett