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USN Primary selection and family time


Nihongo dame desu
And one more thing... time not deployed can still be short on actual family time, and it can actually be more challenging because it feels like he's home, perhaps after being away from 6 or 9 months, and you just want to soak up time together. But he's on the night train and you work days so you spend a few hours in bed together (sadly, sleeping) and that's the extent of your "togetherness". Then he's finally off the night schedule and you plan a lovely day doing a favorite activity. And he gets called in because he's the assistant maintenance officer and if the guys are turning wrenches on a Saturday, he needs (or wants) to be there with them. So you plan to cook an amazing dinner Tuesday night when he's done flying by 2pm. And someone discovers some issue with something and everyone works until 8 that day. But at least you have that vacation to Bali to look forward to... until leave is canceled because they might have to do a super last minute deployment.

All of these are very, very real things. So if your primary focus is on "time not actually deployed", it can be a very rude awakening when the time at home isn't quite the panacea you both imagined. Just one more thing to consider...


is clara ship
I think the take away is that the Navy is gonna get their pound (or two) of flesh from your guy at some point, so if anything, it is beneficial for that time to be meaningful to him, and potentially leave you in a decent place where you can go about your life as best you can when he is gone. I was VFA on active duty, and it meant a lot of time away from home. It meant that before a 7-9 month deployment, I was gone for the better part of the year prior too. That experience will be similar in other communities too. And then there will be the land based communities where you might not do the more extended deployments, but you may do more of them during a tour. My wife always said that deployment was actually better, because in workups (that year ish time before hand) I would be mostly gone, occasionally home for a few weeks at a time, and nobody could ever really adjust. When the boat pulled out and we flew off for cruise, that was it. For months, I would be gone, completely, and they could adjust to a new lifestyle for that time period. Anyway, I don't say this to discourage you, I say this to give you an honest expectation that your husband will be gone quite a bit wherever he goes. It sucks, and there are various levels of how much it might suck, but it is the part of military service that is ubiquitous for all aviators.


Well-Known Member
A lot of the earlier posts are golden. He should find some satisfaction in what he's going to do. I grad'd with two other guys within a month that all went to Pt Mugu. One went straight to a deployed squadron, early on the deployment, and was "lucky" enough to do an entire workup cycle and another full deployment (the days where two full deployments were the norm were not the norm in 2013ish). One did one really long deployment, with the workups starting shortly after arrival. One did a westpac hawaii exercise, and a cruise around south america with no night flying. On both the macro and micro level as mentioned, there really isn't a best answer. So if homesteading is the best "try" then sure, go for that. But otherwise understand while every community has stereotypes of how life will be, it isn't likely going to turn out exactly that way.