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Percentage of post deployment divorces?
- Thread starter pivo
- Start date
This sentence caught my eye. As the "survivor" of a no fault CA divorce involving retirement pay. Alimony ends if/when the payer dies, or when the payee remarries. Also it can be readjusted and/or terminated, by petitioning the court proving changed circumstances involving income, health, employment etc. Petitioner should be prepared to pay court/Lawyer costs should they lose their case.
For those who may not be aware, in military divorce in CA,, the division by % of military retirement is NOT alimony, but the retirement income is considered community property, the % awarded is based on a formula of how many years of the retirees active service, was the pair actually married. Simply put, if the retiree did 20 years and the marriage was for the full 20, the retirement income split is 50-50. If the marriage was only 10 of the 20, the split would be retiree 75%, ex 25%. In my case our marriage was 15 of my 22 years service, so it was ~66% for BzB, ~33% for ex-ms. Bee. Of course spousal support (alimony) may be added, along with child support, The retirement split is "forever" i.e., until the death of the retiree, or the ex. Spousal support/alimony ends upon remarriage of the recipient.
I sincerely hope the Penguins enjoy a long, fruitful, and successful marriage, for it would take a Doctorate in Math to compute a formulae for equitable division of the fruits of their respective careers! lol
BzB
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Just hearing all that stuff makes me angry. In all seriousness, in my wardroom we had some people who were divorced or got divorced. I don't pry into people's personal lives like that so I don't know a true count but there were also a handful of people who were on their second marriages. Heed the advice of those who've been there, done that and gotten the t shirt (and subsequently lost it). It's a fickle thing and it works for some, but not others. Take your time and enjoy being young. This is a rough life we lead and it's not for everyone. Just remember that when you're gone, you're putting all your trust into the person who's back home with all your stuff.
Spekkio
He bowls overhand.
I'm throwing the BS flag on this.
You're saying that she can't find a job making $30-50k/year to afford a 2-3 BR apartment with roommates and a sub-$100/month electric/heat bill, and it's ONLY alimony that allows her to afford this?
I understand your point about lost income potential (and that is a very good point), but if you can't make enough to afford a place to stay and pay utilities without alimony then your job experience/education falls in Subway Sandwich Artist territory.
You raise a valid point about lost earning potential, but didn't you accept that when you got married? Why should your (theoretically ex) husband compensate you because you decided to get married to a military servicemember and follow him around the world instead of pursue your career? He didn't hold a gun to your head and force you to do it, and while you may have lost income potential you probably have life experiences from living abroad that will never get crossed off most people's bucket lists. How do you quantify that? If I got divorced, I couldn't seek compensation from my wife for having to afford a bigger home to rent, more expensive utilities, $90/mo cable tv that I normally wouldn't pay for, etc. instead of split 3-4 BR apartments with other single JOs and save a ton of money in the process.I believe that in CA, I'd be "qualified" for alimony for life at this point. That's ridiculous (note to self: delete this post in case of divorce), but a couple years so that I could find myself a job and get reestablished and undo some of the damage OCONUS living has done to my lifelong earning potential? In my world, that's not unreasonable. Would I take half his retirement? Probably not, but that depends on the reason for divorce, I guess, and the intensity of the desire for retribution. In some Jerry Springer scenario where he was sleeping with my sister? It tough to say what I'd feel or do.
I take issue with divorce law being very old-school when women in the 21st century typically don't need to depend on their husbands for the sole source of income (and many do not). The premise of your argument re alimony is that it's your husband's fault for your lost income potential, you're just the helpless wife trapped into following him around. So if you guys split then he owes it to you to pay alimony until you can make up that ground he supposedly forced you to lose. When really you decided to marry him out of your own free will, and you sacrificed your career because you thought that marriage to him was better for you/more important/whatever. He shouldn't have to pay for your bad career decisions if the marriage doesn't work out -- you made that decision because you thought it would benefit you in other ways.
Then things like treating retirement as an asset instead of income/alimony just take the cake.
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Oh yeah, you can thank former Congresswoman "Patsy" Schroeder (D) CO, for that jewel of feminist legislation. I was in process when thar was enacted.. The spousal & child support (in addition to her 1/3 ot the retirement), gobbled up most of my remainih 2/3 of retirement! Fair? I think not; however, I had no problem with the child support. Only the fact that I had to help subsidize her new husband's cabin cruiser with a portion of my hard-earned retirement, when she remarried. Uggghh!
BzB
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I believe alimony in CA is limited to a specific time period until you hit the 10 years of marriage mark. At 10 years, then it is commonly "for life" (at the courts discretion). But if you escape before 10 years, then you only pay for a set number of years, commonly half the length of the marriage.
I did accept that when I got married. And he accepted the if we divorce under certain circumstances, he'd be paying alimony.
I see it differently than you do, obviously, and that's okay. Fortunately, I married someone like-minded. I wouldn't have sought alimony if we divorced when I was still working even though I made less than he did (and thus probably could have easily gotten some), because my making less had nothing to do with our marriage. But I look at careers, in some ways, as just another joint asset. Your bolded is incorrect and is fundamentally at odds with what I consider to be a healthy marriage. I didn't decide because I thought it would benefit me. *We* decided because we thought it would benefit us. *We* decided it made sense for me to quit, rather than be separated (for what would have been 5+ years for back-to-back OCONUS assignments), and as such *we* took on that risk. It wasn't my decision; it was our decision, which is sort of how a good marriage works. So it wasn't my bad career decision; it was our joint life decision. As such, we will both shoulder the burdens of that during our marriage with the loss of my not-insignificant income, and we will also both shoulder the loss of that if we are ever not married.
The decision was made with the idea that it was best (in ways that go beyond finances) for us to make that call. Our partnership was better off. So to me, it isn't reasonable that I would be the one to bear the burden if things go bad, since we both enjoyed the benefits of my career sacrifice while things were good, and that his resulting career success would be all his will my career flounderings would be all mine. Essentially, from a community property standpoint, he'd walk away with all the career assets while I'd be left with all the career debts. That's no more reasonable than saying I get the house and he gets the mortgage. *We* decided to buy the house and we decided to take out a mortgage so if things go south, we are each responsible for half of both. And we decided to throw my career on the alter of sacrifice, so we are each responsible for half of the damage.
Getting a few hundred bucks for a couple of years while I job searched and got established doesn't seem unreasonable to me, or to him. It may to you, in which case it's a good thing I choose whom I did.
707guy
"You can't make this shit up..."
After a bad first marriage and a nasty divorce I've been running the Simmon's Plan for about 10 years now and it's been great. Although with healthcare costs going through the roof and two freshmen in private high school the ring may catch up to me soon - if only to save some coin.
When they remarry and you get a call from Tricare saying that you need to drop them from your coverage so that they can be added to another service members coverage (the one that is awaiting court martial for adultery with your former spouse). Notwithstanding the fact that she demanded 10K for health insurance in the divorce. That is truly good times.