OCS with a pregnant wife

[mb1685]

My package is complete and I am awaiting the rolling SNA board estimated to take place in October. Today, my wife and I found out that she is about 5 weeks pregnant. The estimated due date is actually one day after my 27th birthday, so if I'm selected, presumably my age critical status would result in me being assigned a class date that would have me graduating before the baby arrives.

I've read a lot on the forums about how much more difficult flight school will be with a child, but of course I still am going to try my best to succeed, and my wife is on board.

Since the board has not convened yet, is this something that needs to be notated in my package somewhere? Are there any additional hoops to jump through prior to and during OCS other than being sure my wife has a support system and financial help?

As a side note, she had an IUD which was confirmed today to have been properly placed and was still in the right position before the doctor removed it, so this was a gigantic surprise and puts us in the 0.1%. Unfortunately there are higher than average chances for a miscarriage, so this is already shaping up to be a rollercoaster.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

My package is complete and I am awaiting the rolling SNA board estimated to take place in October. Today, my wife and I found out that she is about 5 weeks pregnant. The estimated due date is actually one day after my 27th birthday, so if I'm selected, presumably my age critical status would result in me being assigned a class date that would have me graduating before the baby arrives.

I've read a lot on the forums about how much more difficult flight school will be with a child, but of course I still am going to try my best to succeed, and my wife is on board.

Since the board has not convened yet, is this something that needs to be notated in my package somewhere? Are there any additional hoops to jump through prior to and during OCS other than being sure my wife has a support system and financial help?

As a side note, she had an IUD which was confirmed today to have been properly placed and was still in the right position before the doctor removed it, so this was a gigantic surprise and puts us in the 0.1%. Unfortunately there are higher than average chances for a miscarriage, so this is already shaping up to be a rollercoaster.

Have you talked to your OR? What did he or she say?

 

[zippy]

My package is complete and I am awaiting the rolling SNA board estimated to take place in October.

Since the board has not convened yet, is this something that needs to be notated in my package somewhere? Are there any additional hoops to jump through prior to and during OCS other than being sure my wife has a support system and financial help?

Absolutely not! No offense but 5 weeks is very early and there's a lot of complications that could prevent a successful birth.

Get her into Deers and enrolled in tricare ASAP after you're selected talk to your OR about it and ask for an early class date.

You'll be pretty stressed at OCS with her pregnant, but you'll also be stressed at home with her pregnant.

 

[picklesuit]

I did OCS with a wife in the third trimester and had our second kid during advanced.

Many before you and many after will manage it with kids/pregnant wife.

Pickle

 

[swopeful]

I did OCS with a wife in the third trimester and had our second kid during advanced.

Many before you and many after will manage it with kids/pregnant wife.

Pickle

+1.

Beyond this, there are deployments with kids on the way. At least this is only a training cycle. This is an integral part of military life, balancing home/family life with demanding operational/training commitments.

 

[IRfly]

You don't want to have to deal with that at OCS. Set her up with a family member or VERY close friends nearby, and make sure she knows to expect that you will have sporadic opportunities to contact her, especially for the first several weeks of OCS. It'll be tough for both of you, but worse if she goes to Newport where she knows no one and expects to rely on you because you're (geographically) so close. You might as well be going to a different planet for 3 months.

 

[Uncle Fester]

What IR said. She'll need a support network, and unfortunately it can't be you.

 

[enlUSMC]

My wife delivered our 4th child three days after OCS. Two weeks later we road tripped about a week to my duty station. It seems stressful when you're anticipating the birth, but it wouldn't be worth delaying or turning down a commission. When I was in OCS I had all my dependent's information and enrolled them in DEERS (my spouse had to go sign something at an ID office, but that was easy). From then on she received free prenatal medical care. Now that we're together, my job is to go to work, study and get my quals; she leads the home front with the kids. I support her when I can, and so far, it's a successful team effort.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

My wife delivered our 4th child three days after OCS. Two weeks later we road tripped about a week to my duty station. It seems stressful when you're anticipating the birth, but it wouldn't be worth delaying or turning down a commission. When I was in OCS I had all my dependent's information and enrolled them in DEERS (my spouse had to go sign something at an ID office, but that was easy). From then on she received free prenatal medical care. Now that we're together, my job is to go to work, study and get my quals; she leads the home front with the kids. I support her when I can, and so far, it's a successful team effort.

after the 2nd kid the older ones start helping with the younger ones, you should know this, so you may as well have a few more and go for a basketball team

seriously though a guy I know that has like 12 or 13 kids told me this.....

 

[enlUSMC]

after the 2nd kid the older ones start helping with the younger ones, you should know this, so you may as well have a few more and go for a basketball team

seriously though a guy I know that has like 12 or 13 kids told me this.....

At check in with medical I purposely got all the info I need on vasectomies.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

At check in with medical I purposely got all the info I need on vasectomies.

There is a great family guy episode about vasectomies, you should look it up!

 

[mb1685]

Bumping this once more with a few more questions.

I've been Pro Rec'd for SNA and am praying I can get in the 3 Jan class since that's the only one that will work for my age. That means I'll be gone during the third trimester and my wife and I are setting up a support system of friends and family who can check on her often, bring her groceries, take her to prenatal appointments, and attend to any emergencies (including going into labor early).

1. Since the due date is 7 Apr and the 3 Jan class graduates on 25 Mar, my wife will be full term by then. This is my first rodeo as far as childbirth goes, but I imagine having her go with me on a long road trip (to Pensacola from central Texas) would be far from ideal when she should theoretically go into labor at any minute. OHARP seems like a great solution and I would like to apply for it during OCS, if possible. Can any recent graduates shed light on how common OHARP is for newly-commissioned SNAs at the moment?

2. If OHARP doesn't pan out and my wife goes into labor during one of the travel days to Pensacola, do I have any options to extend the period of time before I need to check into my first duty station, such as emergency leave? If so, is that going to reflect badly on me and/or screw things up in any way career-wise?

3. This is a question I'd have even if my wife wasn't pregnant. I've read that, barring OHARP, you receive orders to Pensacola and the amount of travel days you're allotted reflects going straight to Pensacola from Newport. How do I go about getting my wife moved from Texas to Pensacola in that situation? Do I try to hire movers ahead of time, take the earliest flight I can get back to my wife, and then make the drive to Pensacola with her as soon as humanly possible? Or is there a way that those with dependents can get a little bit of extra travel time to return home and square things away before the move?

4. If I roll, I know I'll have to redesignate (if given the option) or drop, and I know I'll almost certainly miss the birth of my child since that pushes things back 3 weeks. If given the option to redesignate, can I take some sort of emergency leave to see my wife and then return to OCS (by perhaps rolling back by yet another class)? Or are the options solely "redesignate and miss the birth, or go home and apply for another board later"? I know that dropping can be somewhat of a death sentence for applying to future boards, but is this a circumstance which might be looked past? For the record, I am not necessarily against missing the birth if it comes down to it, but I know it would be a tough decision.

 

[Uncle Fester]

Bumping this once more with a few more questions...

Short answer to your post is, there are a lot of uncertainties with OCS timing and even more with flight school. My advice is push ahead with OCS and deal with the arrival of the Young Wonder when it happens. You'll be grateful for medical coverage and a guaranteed paycheck. You're not the first expectant dad to go to OCS. It'll be a challenge, but everyone will work with you.

 

[villanelle]

I can't help with most of the questions, but regarding travel and the move, most people I know in similar situations have had the service member go directly to his next location, and the spouse stays behind, deals with the movers (which you can't really arrange ahead of time as the Navy will arrange it for you), and drivers herself and any children to the new location once that's done. It likely won't be the last time she deals with a move more or less on her own. Assuming you have two cars, that should work just fine. You *may* be able to take a day of leave or two, I imagine, to add on to your allotted travel days, so that you could fly to her, deal with the movers, and then drive together, but keep in mind that if you have two cars, you are still going to each be driving in separate cars anyway. Seems like a bad use of your currently very limited leave, to me. And if she's by herself, she can take her time, stop whenever she or the babe need a break, and do short, manageable days, whereas if she's caravanning with you, the clock is going to be ticking and she's going to really have to push herself, which might be hell with a fussy newborn in the car and no one the the driver to soothe it. (One other note: I've known some people to pay for a mom or friend or whatever to fly out to the spouse's location and make the drive with her, and then pay to fly the companion home from the new location. If your wife really doesn't think she can drive by herself, that's an option, but it will cost you two one-way plane tickets unless you have a willing family member in your current town.)

Good luck with the OCS dates and with OCS.

 

[mb1685]

Thank you for the insight, @Uncle Fester and @villanelle.

I definitely understand that it is impossible to predict all of the scenarios that could happen and I know we'll have to roll with the punches. If the kiddo is already born by the time of the move then it's not such a big deal, but my biggest concern would be her having to make the drive herself while she's full-term and could go into labor at any moment. We'll likely have her mom fly in to stay with her towards the middle of the third trimester, but even if her mom does the driving, I just have a bad feeling about that situation. Of course, I know we don't live in a third-world country and I'm sure adequate hospitals will be within a reasonable distance at pretty much all points during the drive. Hopefully OHARP pans out -- that would make things a lot easier.