1.) If you don't read anything else on this post, read this... stay north of the big white church on Duval street.
2.) Fat Tuesdays... Bushwacker with a 191 floater starts the night. Stare at all the college chicks, get shit faced.
3.) Stumble out the door, go to Irish Kevins, avoid stepping in anything. Get heckled by Jared Michel Hobgood, listen to his music, drink more. Do at least 3 Irish Car Bombs. If you're a man, get on stage and pound a pint infront of everyone. Piss on your own feet in bathroom after taking out another 200 in fun tickets from the ATM.
4.) Leave Irish Kevins, go to Sloppy Joes. Buy more shots, realize it's an older crowd, get hit on by cougars galore. Let them buy you more drinks, start thinking you've got serious game.
5.) Stumble across the street to Durty Harry's. Realize there are 15 drunk college chicks on stage taking their shirts off for the ubiquitous wet t-shirt contest. Drink more, realize it's approaching 2am, you're getting hungery. Walk outside and down the street.
6.) Go upstairs to Teazers, look at naked chicks, realize it's nothing new, food is more important.
7.) Now is the quandry of the night... Pizza or Dogs. You can go south, and hit the big street vendor hotdog stand, and get the best hotdog you've never had drunk, or you can go north to Angelina's and get fresh pizza. Either way, you're going to hate yourself in the morning. Stumble back to Trumbo, have a laugh with the gate guards, wake up in the am with mud butt and a hangover.
8.) Drag self out of bed, walk outside and start to sweat booze you were just drinking 5 hours ago. Catch a cab to Schooners Warfe. Walk inside, drink 4 bloody mary's while listening to live music. I recommend the fish taco's. Realize you're feeling better, switch to drinking Dark and Stormies for the next three hours.
9.) At 5pm catch cab back to BOQ, take 2 hour nap. Awake, shower, repeat 1-8.
Hope that helps. If you find yourself on Duval getting eyef_cked by guys wearing eyeliner, you've gone to far south.