AngHockey, Hope you don't mind me tacking on to your help
I learned from past employments (are you sure i should make this singular) Yes, more common parlance is for it to be "past employment," and then specify which employment you're talking about. that when placed in a position to teach or train others, I am able to express clearly the procedural aspects of the task the current job assignment entails This sounds repetitive to me. Why not "I am able to express clearly the procedural aspects which the current job requires".
I value independence (Independent Thought?), and my job experiences as well as my participation in sports during high school and college taught me the importance of teamwork and camaraderie. (I don't know if this sentence works as you'd like it too. I value independence sort of sounds like you're not a team player. Maybe "I value teamwork and comraderie, and the independent thought that arises in such supportive environs" Aspects such as these are unattainable if one places oneself above the needs of the group.(I agree with merging the two paragraphs since they both talk about teamwork) I hold the success of the mission and the future success of my teammates rather than selfish endeavors (maybe "rather then personal advancement") with the utmost importance. I find it important to take responsibility and accountability for one?s actions in order to achieve maturity, I'm not sure maturity is ever achieved. How about "I find it important... in order to achieve success. Moreover, I learned from teamwork that an effective leader must listen to group member suggestions and use this information to efficiently complete the assignment.(I found it hard to delete this portion, so i re-worded it and placed it at the end)
Furthermore, I acknowledge the significance of leaving A positive impression on others, as for them to achieve better than I What about "That their accomplishments might build upon my own". (I agree with you about deleting this portion, it was just something i added on, you can definitely tell)
Once again thanks a lot for your help anghockey and Jynx, too, I hope.