Mess Night?

[pennst8]

My ROTC unit is getting ready to hold our annual Senior Mess Night next week. I was just wondering if anyone had any good stories from their own mess nights or any good suggestions for fines, etc.

Anyone see anything that just made them die laughing?

 

[mules83]

We are having our dining-in this saturday. I'll relay any info that was extra funny.....but probably wont happen due to some drinking and partial memory loss.......

 

[zab1001]

Designate someone to act as the bank (there's usually one non-drinker in the group). Cut them a check from whatever fund you can, have them take this and go to get ones and fives. That way, no one can say "oh I didn't bring any small bills". 'Fvck you, pay me'

 

[webmaster]

One of the instructors at the unit was pissing me off. So I paid a pizza delivery guy to show up at the mess night with a loaded pizza right after the food was served (whole fish, like 5 of them on the top), and he said in a loud voice "is LT XXXXX here, I have the pizza he ordered..." I cut the CO in on what I was planning, and he instantly squelched the hapless LTs complaints that I was the culprit. Made him eat the pizza too...

I also got in there ahead of time, and removed someone's chair. Took silverware. Taped an alarm clock beneath someone's chair set to go off (gatordev, you recall any of this? lol).... and the list goes on.... My motto, at any mess/dining function, you need to be on the offensive, but be prepared to ENTERTAIN, don't be the idiot going "I'll pay my fine, or drink the grog/whatever".... good times...

Zab, you gotta have some good sh!t you have pulled over the years too!!

 

[Steve Wilkins]

One of the instructors at the unit was pissing me off. So I paid a pizza delivery guy to show up at the mess night with a loaded pizza right after the food was served (whole fish, like 5 of them on the top), and he said in a loud voice "is LT XXXXX here, I have the pizza he ordered..." I cut the CO in on what I was planning, and he instantly squelched the hapless LTs complaints that I was the culprit. Made him eat the pizza too...

That was the semester after I left. I know who you're talking about and I would've paid money to see it.

 

[zab1001]

All I'll say is this, we had a good time, if I remember correctly. Unfortunately, that weekend was also during the oh-so-important NROTC basketball tournament (oh Jeebus, if this tournament does not go well, we will all be the worst officers to ever hit the Fleet, blah blah blah). We raised about 500 bucks in fines to go out drinking after the ball. I was the Pres, and came home with 4 dollars in change at 3am. The next morning, the freshman advisor (O-3) calls me and tells me that they need money to have a fvcking pizza party (apparently I wasn't in college, it was 5th grade, pizza and pop for everyone! yay!) and she wanted "whatever change was left over from the fines." Rog-o, El Tee. I showed up at 3rd Deck (the NROTC building) with all 4 dollars. I was then hollered at (and it was "hollerin' " ) for 30 minutes or so.

Apparently I was irresponsible...with dining out fines...for drinking...

Amazingly, I was still comissioned. Turns out, fvcking up a PIZZA PARTY is not grounds for a "disciplinary dismissal".

Suggestions? If you're going to do limericks or rhyming toasts, or whatever, mke sure they get screened by at ;east one person with a sense of humor. Or bring tomatoes.

 

[Swmtb]

Having a Hooters girl deliver several dozen wings to our table, as well as the guest of honor (a retired Admiral). Good times there...

A large inflatable waterslide...and little bit too much water. Maybe not the best idea, but still a pretty good time.

 

[Desperado619]

I remember we charged our Gunny with wearing women's underwear, when we presented the evidence he replied "everyone knows that's not my color." I dunno, it was funny at the time...

 

[pennst8]

Zab, that is the funniest **** I've ever heard, I already gave you rep points and yet still feel the need to post.

We held a strategy session at the Phyrst tonight and have come up with some heinous **** to pull off. I will report back with what actually happens. Commmisions are on the line so we had to scale the plans back just slightly.

Sadly I will need to carry a large amount of cash, there are at least two HUGE things that I will be fined for that the entire class knows about. The president this year will not be as cool as you were and the fines will undoubtedly go to something stupid (like paying a tab at mad mex, while the real men are drinking at the Phyrst, or maybe giving the money to charity...)

 

[mules83]

Our guest of honor for our dining-in is retired Capt. John "Lites" Leenhouts (pilot with most carrier landings). Anybody got good dirt on him.......jk

 

[mules83]

We are having our dining-in this saturday. I'll relay any info that was extra funny.....but probably wont happen due to some drinking and partial memory loss.......

Well, I had my last dining-in last night and it was pretty darn good. I went out in style by wearing chokers and hawaiian shorts with flip flops. Everybody had a good laugh. The fines were hilarious. Most of them were just for doing stupid sh!t this past year. A person gave a 4/c midshipman a tool belt for being a tool bag and others would tape junk to others' seats and then fine them for bringing random stuff into the room (illegal). Our vice was a 4/c marine option female. That was interesting. There were some interesting confrontations between her and her boyfriend (2/c navy guy). The grog bowl was non-alcoholic but very potent. It had a nice cow tongue on the top of it. The gunny (AMOI) loves to do his TMI's whenever he gets fined. He showed us the reverse pinky takedown or something like that (victim was the person who fined him).

Ret. Capt Leenhouts was our guest of honor. He was a great guy to talk to and had a lot of good stories. I told him I would give him a call when I got 1646 traps . Lites gave me a callsign on the spot when I was talking to him. Apparently I look like "scarecrow" from the wizard of oz.

It was the unit's CO, XO, MOI, AMOI last dining-in also so afterward we went down to beachside (I got back into proper uniform). I am happy to say I didn’t buy one drink out of the....... I drank. We stayed out till the bars closed and called it a night. It was a good time held by all.

 

[HighDimension]

heh, quite impressive mules, I know you're gonna miss daytona beach after you leave.... NOT! =)

 

[pennst8]

Bump... I feel like I owe it to describe last night.

I'm up at 7am for no apparent reason. I have no idea where my cover is, the keyboard is tricky because the room still has quite a spin going.

GO NAVY.

Summary of last night:

-The fines were all stupid... meatheads are not good at talking in front of people. They don't know how to be funny or get to the point. Mr. Vice needed to regulate but unfortunately he too was a meathead.

-Amazingly I didn't get fined for any of the really stupid things I've done over the years.

-Somehow we walked off with a bottle of port wine. I have no idea why it was taken, but it was taken. I offered a swig to the CO on the way out the door. He declined. The GOH took a mighty chug.

-Our guest of honor rocked the house, we would have gladly bought him drinks all night, but while the majority hung around and went to Mad Mex, the real drinkers left and went to the Phyrst.

-Speaking of the GOH, he had a terrible tendency to end his speech with the point of "don't piss in the river", knowing full well we hadn't had a head call in ages.

-I saw the GOH earlier in the afternoon, he almost hit my car in a parking lot... "HEY WHO IS THIS ******* IN THE BLACK TRUCK... OH WAIT I KNOW THAT GUY ITS MAJ. (name withheld)." (<-- Penn State grads, he's the former MOI)

-I relayed the story... his version was "HEY WHO IS THIS ******* IN THE GREEN CAR... OH WAIT I KNOW THAT GUY ITS MIDN (name withheld)."

-There was jailbait on the corner of Pugh street(state high girls) so we gave them someone's phone number to call all night. All of them wrote it down, so I'm sure he appreciated the attention from 17 year olds.

-Said jailbait wanted to pose for pictures... we had the good sense to decline and/or cover faces up during the cell phone camera craze that went on. Jailbait apparently love SDBs.

-I have no idea when we left the bar. Last bar memory was racing an underclassman (car bombs) after doing shots of Jameson. I do have my card so I guess I closed my tab... which means we weren't "asked to leave".

-I saw someone at the bar whom I never wanted to see again. One of my friends decided to hit on her. It made me want to die. If I see him in the hall this morning I won't know whether I should sucker punch him or give him a high five.

-The band played ROADHOUSE BLUES as per request.

-I made fun of a 1LT who was at the bar. No one told me. He deserved to be made fun of for wearing a nametag that said "MAVERICK" on it. He was Army... and a good sport... and didn't know who I was... so it worked out.

-Beyond that, I have no independent recollection of events...