I have used the search function to no avail trying to find answers to questions pertaining to bringing the family to flight training. Anybody with advice/experience/expertise please chime in. Things I'm curious about are, living on base(good or bad), is my dog going to be a problem, will the Navy pay to have me move my family to Pensacola directly following OCS or is there a wait, does your family move with you if you get sent to meridian, corpu, etc, and generally life with families while in flight school? Thanks.
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Married with children
- Thread starter smonahan
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Wow, lots of questions...I'll answer a few.
Family in flight training is both a burden and a blessing. I graduated from OCS when my wife was 38 weeks pregnant. We had our first kid while I was in A-Pool for API. I had the opportunity to see my son born at the Pensacola NH, and had minimal responsibilities until I started API in late May. When we moved to Vance AFB I had on base housing. The military paid for the move as it is a PCS move; DLA, Dity, Travel, the whole works.
Primary was probably the hardest with family. I would go stretches of 3 days without seeing my son, and didn't really have the energy to be a good dad. I was pretty stressed by flight school (I'm not a natural pilot) and had to work pretty hard to make it through. The bonus to having a family was the extra incentive to make it through. If I had failed I wasn't just letting myself down, I was failing my Family. My wife busted her butt making life easier for me at home (as a good wife should!) making sure the dishes were done/house cleaned/home stressors removed. I had a buddy there in Primary whose wife was not as helpful (she was a heinous bitch, to tell the truth) and he ended up DOR'ing in advanced.
While in Vance, I managed to create another curtain climber (oops!) and we moved to Corpus Christi while my wife was 32 weeks pregnant. That is not a fun move. Again, DLA/Dity/Travel money was paid. I lived on base again in Corpus; I would not recommend it to my worst enemy. Live out in town or on the Island. We had Pickle Jr. #2 while I was in advanced and the command worked with me to get me the time off. We had my daughter Wednesday morning (I had flown Tuesday) and was back on the Flight schedule the next Tuesday. Lots of support from VT-35, I took the time I needed to go to Dr.'s appointments and take care of kids when shit got hectic. Had the mother in law come down for 3 weeks, that really helped out so I could get through review stage. Also had the old croth-lobotomy at the same time. Take more than 3 days off for that one, just a suggestion.
Moved to Jax wth 2 kids, a dog, a cat, and 2 vehicles. Again made DLA/Travel/Dity money. VP-30 has been great for letting me SNIV for days I need, and the wife has been really good (most days) about taking care of the kids...and sometimes she even manages to do the laundry.
We will be moving Thursday to NAS Whidbey WA...PCS move #7 in 5 1/2 years in the Navy. Hopefully all goes well (and yes, again, we are getting paid to move) and we get to stay somewhere for 3 years.
Family in the military is good. They help you, and give you something to work for. Flight school (well primary) having a family added stress, but it was worth it. After you start advanced it was really not a big deal (you get plenty of time off in flight school) and at the RAG I have wanted to fly just to get out of the house.
Manage your time well, your money better, and remember that your family should come before the military. That gets lost sometimes in the rush of things...family comes first!
Pickle
Family in flight training is both a burden and a blessing. I graduated from OCS when my wife was 38 weeks pregnant. We had our first kid while I was in A-Pool for API. I had the opportunity to see my son born at the Pensacola NH, and had minimal responsibilities until I started API in late May. When we moved to Vance AFB I had on base housing. The military paid for the move as it is a PCS move; DLA, Dity, Travel, the whole works.
Primary was probably the hardest with family. I would go stretches of 3 days without seeing my son, and didn't really have the energy to be a good dad. I was pretty stressed by flight school (I'm not a natural pilot) and had to work pretty hard to make it through. The bonus to having a family was the extra incentive to make it through. If I had failed I wasn't just letting myself down, I was failing my Family. My wife busted her butt making life easier for me at home (as a good wife should!) making sure the dishes were done/house cleaned/home stressors removed. I had a buddy there in Primary whose wife was not as helpful (she was a heinous bitch, to tell the truth) and he ended up DOR'ing in advanced.
While in Vance, I managed to create another curtain climber (oops!) and we moved to Corpus Christi while my wife was 32 weeks pregnant. That is not a fun move. Again, DLA/Dity/Travel money was paid. I lived on base again in Corpus; I would not recommend it to my worst enemy. Live out in town or on the Island. We had Pickle Jr. #2 while I was in advanced and the command worked with me to get me the time off. We had my daughter Wednesday morning (I had flown Tuesday) and was back on the Flight schedule the next Tuesday. Lots of support from VT-35, I took the time I needed to go to Dr.'s appointments and take care of kids when shit got hectic. Had the mother in law come down for 3 weeks, that really helped out so I could get through review stage. Also had the old croth-lobotomy at the same time. Take more than 3 days off for that one, just a suggestion.
Moved to Jax wth 2 kids, a dog, a cat, and 2 vehicles. Again made DLA/Travel/Dity money. VP-30 has been great for letting me SNIV for days I need, and the wife has been really good (most days) about taking care of the kids...and sometimes she even manages to do the laundry.
We will be moving Thursday to NAS Whidbey WA...PCS move #7 in 5 1/2 years in the Navy. Hopefully all goes well (and yes, again, we are getting paid to move) and we get to stay somewhere for 3 years.
Family in the military is good. They help you, and give you something to work for. Flight school (well primary) having a family added stress, but it was worth it. After you start advanced it was really not a big deal (you get plenty of time off in flight school) and at the RAG I have wanted to fly just to get out of the house.
Manage your time well, your money better, and remember that your family should come before the military. That gets lost sometimes in the rush of things...family comes first!
Pickle
Love and Marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage....
Sorry, absolutely nothing to do with the topic....but so rarely do I get an opportunity to sing a theme song
I was disappointed to see that this thread wasn't about Al Bundy as well.
On topic though, I have a friend here in Corpus with a wife, two kids, and a dog, and they live in base housing. He said its great and he would recommend it.
Wherever you're going, definitely try to find some pictures of base housing, and try to determine what the wait time is to get into housing. Some housing is old and crappy; other housing is new and pretty nice. Those two things will go a long way to determining where you want to live. On base with a dog shouldn't be a problem, but check with the housing office to make sure (and ask about the wait time, and ask when you can get on the list--when you have orders in hand, or when you check in, since that may also make a difference). Also, check your BAH and see what it will get you out in town.
Having to temp lodge, either via rental or some other way, for a month or three until base housing opens up is not conducive to a happy family environment. But, if it's a year wait, and you get a year rental out in town, and housing doesn't screw you by offering you a house in the first month you're there, then things may work out.
I'd also agree that family during flight school is probably better than it is worse. As long as your wife understands that NO MATTER WHAT, there will be times when you will not be chipping in. You will either be 1) cramming, 2) flight prepping, 3) sleeping. When doing any of those, you should not be available unless someone's hand or head is falling off. You'll have PLENTY of family time, but when you gotta hit the books and prep, then you need to be focusing entirely on that.
My two cents, anyway.
Having to temp lodge, either via rental or some other way, for a month or three until base housing opens up is not conducive to a happy family environment. But, if it's a year wait, and you get a year rental out in town, and housing doesn't screw you by offering you a house in the first month you're there, then things may work out.
I'd also agree that family during flight school is probably better than it is worse. As long as your wife understands that NO MATTER WHAT, there will be times when you will not be chipping in. You will either be 1) cramming, 2) flight prepping, 3) sleeping. When doing any of those, you should not be available unless someone's hand or head is falling off. You'll have PLENTY of family time, but when you gotta hit the books and prep, then you need to be focusing entirely on that.
My two cents, anyway.
Your family comes first, ALWAYS. Never, EVER, leave your family behind if you don't have to. Deployments will come soon and often enough.
All your moves will be PCS in flight school, so YES the Navy will pay to move you AND your family AND all your shit.
Base housing.... Never done it but I'm not a big fan. From what I've seen, you don't get much. Your BAH will get you something nicer out in town.
All your moves will be PCS in flight school, so YES the Navy will pay to move you AND your family AND all your shit.
Base housing.... Never done it but I'm not a big fan. From what I've seen, you don't get much. Your BAH will get you something nicer out in town.
You know, I don't have much advice as far as family in flight school but I will tell you that everything that I have heard is to not forget that family is first. (As everyone as said before).
I think it was said best in the book about Chuck Horner (Every Man a Tiger). He has a quote that I will never forget. As he was leaving for Desert Storm he asked God to "Make me a good father and husband in heaven because I've done a shit job of it here."
I don't ever want to be put in that position.
I think it was said best in the book about Chuck Horner (Every Man a Tiger). He has a quote that I will never forget. As he was leaving for Desert Storm he asked God to "Make me a good father and husband in heaven because I've done a shit job of it here."
I don't ever want to be put in that position.
MY thoughts exactly!Love and Marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage....
Sorry, absolutely nothing to do with the topic....but so rarely do I get an opportunity to sing a theme song
Cue the "No ma'am!"
Base housing is wildly hit-or-miss. It ranges from pretty nice suburbia to the cinderblock hovel and everything in between. Truthfully, with the exception of overseas and a few really expensive places (like SoCal), there's no real reason to take base housing over living "on the economy". G-d knows there's plenty of rental places to be had in military towns.
As for the family questions - what they said. If you haven't had the come-to-Jesus talk with the Mrs yet, now's the time. For the duration of flight school, you'll be an absentee husband/dad. Period. Either that, or you won't be long for the Program. Flight school is just not something you can scrape by doing the minimum. Make the most of time pooled or in transit, cause that's the only time they'll see you until you finish the RAG. Then, of course, it's deployment time.
Fugly says no on geo-batching, and I can see his reasoning as he's BTDT, but I'd say it depends on you and the Mrs. If the wife is going to be on the phone to you every night for three hours bitching about her job, the kids, etc, then the added stress won't help. If she's capable of running things on her own with just a few "I love you" phone calls, then a quiet house with no distractions will be a big help during the Program. Once you're in the Fleet, then yeah, definitely, have them with you. It helps a lot. Coming home from cruise to an empty house sucks a giant one.
As for the family questions - what they said. If you haven't had the come-to-Jesus talk with the Mrs yet, now's the time. For the duration of flight school, you'll be an absentee husband/dad. Period. Either that, or you won't be long for the Program. Flight school is just not something you can scrape by doing the minimum. Make the most of time pooled or in transit, cause that's the only time they'll see you until you finish the RAG. Then, of course, it's deployment time.
Fugly says no on geo-batching, and I can see his reasoning as he's BTDT, but I'd say it depends on you and the Mrs. If the wife is going to be on the phone to you every night for three hours bitching about her job, the kids, etc, then the added stress won't help. If she's capable of running things on her own with just a few "I love you" phone calls, then a quiet house with no distractions will be a big help during the Program. Once you're in the Fleet, then yeah, definitely, have them with you. It helps a lot. Coming home from cruise to an empty house sucks a giant one.
Thanks for the info guys. I have to bring the Mrs. at some point because as of now we are staying with my wife's sister and her husband. I wasn't sure if geo-bachelor was an option during the different phases of flight school, I guess I can cross that bridge when I get there. I was planning on staying in base housing in P-cola, the wait listed is 0-1 months.
Just a friendly warning about this cumbaya family sub-thread. Yes, all other things being equal, this is true. But there's a very fine and often blurry line between hurting your chances for promotion and staying at the squadron until 1800 every day, when most of the other JO's are skating at 15 or 1600. Pre-9/11, in the time of no DH screen and an almost auto LCDR upgrade, this was workable. Nowadays, I think the newbies need to start thinking a bit more strategically about their career.
Of all the fitreps, you'd think the one from your very first operational command would mean the least. But over the years, I've come to the conclusion that it's more important than I'd thought. So think wisely about whether to turn down the extra det if asked. If you wind up in Training, be the guy who gets to know everyone in Ops, hanging out there and pitching in after the Training shop has packed up. Be the guy who Ops or the MO wants in his office at the next job shuffle. Volunteer for the high-vis crap. GO TO THE BOAT. And DO NOT believe anything that anyone from BUPERS has to say about screens, boards, fitreps and promotions, unless they're saying that they're going to all happen, and they're going to all be tough as hell. If you want to make O-5 in today's Navy, you have to plan and choose accordingly for all that, and that will definitely require some family sacrifice. There are the odd JO's that rise up despite doing all this, but for 80-90% of the newbies, the above applies.
So when you hear "family comes first," the answer is yes, but... not always. You can't have all of both, so you'll have to compromise, and that means sacrifice on both ends. Be careful what you sacrifice from the Navy if you want to stay for 20.
And yes, I've had the lobotomy. This may well be a product of that.
Sacrifice family for the Navy if you want. If you're okay with your kids never seeing you, fine. I guarantee you they won't be sitting around one day thinking, "yeah, Dad missed all my football games, but at least he was the guy Ops wanted in his office at the next job shuffle."
The Navy doesn't love you back, never has, never will. It's a great job that demands sacrifices, but the moment that what you have to sacrifice isn't worth what you get from it, it's time to go.
The Navy doesn't love you back, never has, never will. It's a great job that demands sacrifices, but the moment that what you have to sacrifice isn't worth what you get from it, it's time to go.
Concur 100%. At the end of it all, it's your family, and not your boss or your buddies, that's going to "write your fitrep." They don't care one iota if you were the best pilot ever or that you made O-5.