Hey Pete....
Thanks for the heads-up/warning gentlemen...
Flight school is a total bi*ch on marriages. More marriages break up during flight school (in all branches of the military) than during TBS or any other secondary training in the military.
Flight school is a very lonely time for wives because of the long class hours, cross country flights on weekends, bonding of brotherhood, long study hours, watching your spouse fly the couch constantly and lest we forget the non-stop partying with the boys during every free downtime minute can destroy the fabric of some families and solidify it for others. It just depends on the strength of the marriage and how well the flight candidate manages his time and keeps his ego in check.
The OSC can be a valuable asset to wives who join their husbands in P'cola. However, it mostly depends on how tight of control the CO's wife keeps on the group and how quickly she deals with people who are "sh*t pot stirrers" because there will always be one lady in the crowd who thrives on misery. When we were in P'cola the OSC was pretty good. We had a great CO's wife who really pushed everyone to find friends both in the OSC and outside the service in places like work and church. She always said that the spouse has to find a balance of friendships.
But honestly if there is a mishap no matter how small or large the only people who are going to understand the stress and fears of a flight crew wife is another FC wife. Your average civilian just isn't going to understand what it is we deal with. Granted, a flight school wife is not going to be able to give much good advice to another about military life (unless she is a Mustang wife) because of the short time in service. But they can lend each other the kind of support that no one else can.
We were in VT-86 when the two jets collided and killed 9(?) in 2003 and if it hadn't been for the wives of the OSC being there with the lost FC wives till their families could get to P'cola I think we would have had a couple of suicides right along with the loss of the guys.
The OSC can be a very valuable asset, it honestly turns on how it is managed by the senior wives. If they speak up right away when someone starts stirring the pot then it gets nipped in the bud and ends right away.
More importantly it depends on how the guys sit their wives down and agree to some boundaries where the OSC is concerned. You guys cannot forbid them to associate with the OSC because they need to have an instant cashe of people who know the area and where to find what they need on base and off and instant playmates for your kids never hurts too. You just have to agree first hand how much involvement is acceptable and agree that there are just some subjects that you don't talk about with people you barely know.
I have always told new wives that if they are having marriage issues they need to talk to senior wives that can find them the proper help through Tri-care mental health that way their family problems do not become fodder for the rumor mill. Green wives can be shopping or beach buddies but they shouldn't seek advice for anything personal through the OSC.
I was lucky my hubby had been in the Corps 8 years already when we got to flight school, so I didn't have much use for the OSC and I still don't nearly ten years later but thats me, younger women need the OSC especially when they are new to all the moving around and not having their own friends and family nearby.
~OleMissF18Wife
