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Girlfriend With an Engineering Degree and Doubts

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jreynard

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Hello to all!
I am going to OCS soon and my girlfriend is having significant doubts about being a military wife.

I have a question regarding employment for spouses in the Navy. I have read most of the postings regarding questions about spouses employment but all of them seem to be focused on teaching careers. My girl has an engineering degree and she would like to be successful in that field. She has a major concern about her being able to find employment where ever we may live. Can anyone help me with trying to help relieve her stress over this? Is there contract work that can be done or help with in the Navy to get her a job in her field? I think it may be a reason for her to decide to leave me. Any feedback would help us.

Thanks
 
Even that route isn't so good though. I hate to say this, but it's VERY tough for spouses to find employment, especially at this stage of the game. My wife has an Accounting Degree...in the last 3 years, she's had one "Accounting" oriented job (when I was in API/Primary...did both in Pensacola/Milton), but the pay was low and the skill's required to hold that job were pretty basic. Not the challenge she was looking for, that's for sure. Employers around these bases know when you're military or the spouse of military, they also know that you probably won't be around long so are more reluctant to hire you. Temp employement is sometimes an option, couldn't really tell you how many jobs are available in that type of field though.

I'm not trying to sound negative, it's just that prospects are poor. But, not impossible. Good luck, be honest with her, and if you care about each other enough, you'll both be willing to make sacrifices (her working out of town, commuting or something).
 
Honestly, these first 2-3 years or so are going to be very hard because, due to flight training, you may be moving around a lot depending on where you go, what you select, etc. It IS hard on a spouse who wants to work, even for teachers (that's me! :) ). But, once you get out of the training mode and into your fleet squadron (possibly even while in the FRS if you end up staying at that base for your sea tour), you will be there for 3 yrs. or so (4 if you stay where the FRS was). That's plenty long to find a job and stick with it. Then, after that, your shore tour will be around 2 years, possibly in the same city depending on where you are and what your options are at that time. Then, a dissaciated sea tour-who knows where that will be- and then back for the DH tour if you stay in past your commitment time.
I guess what I'm saying is-it can be done, absolutely. But your girlfriend does NEED to know that at any time, plans change, timelines change, etc. and a military spouse needs to be FLEXIBLE. If she is looking to stay in the same place, have long term roots in the community, etc., then maybe she will be unhappy with the military lifestyle. You can't guarantee her that you'll be in ANY place for ANY guaranteed amount of time- it's just not possible. In my husband's fleet squadron, there was a female NFO who was married to an engineer. He had a great job located in Pensacola, while we were in Jax. He lived in Pens part of the week, and Jax the rest of the week, for her entire fleet tour. It was very hard on them. But now she is stationed in Pensacola for her shore tour so it is much better. That's how they made it work.
Why don't you have her register on this site, come over to the private spouse's corner, and discuss her concerns with some of the spouses/SO's there? That way, she can directly ask what questions she really wants to ask from spouses who have been there. We're very nice and don't bite, I promise!
 
Like NFOwife said..."military wives must be flexible". VERY TRUE! Never did I picture myself moving away from family and the people and places that I grew up around...BUT you can't help who you fall in love with and my love just so happens to be an NFO. I look at the traveling as an experience (haven't been a ton of places yet, but looking forward to it!) LIfe is too short to worry about work, just worry about having a happy family/military family and EVERYTHING works out! Plus, I am sure that she has great qualities that all us wives/fiances would love to get to know! After all, we are the ones who need to turn to eachother in times of hardship...

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors! Let us know how things turnout!

-Tukka

Good idea on having her log on and visit the spouse's corner!
 
I am sure your girlfriend would be a great engineer, but as a military spouse, employment may be difficult with the moving around. She could look at taking a few extra classes and then teach Math to high schoolers or college kids????
 
I think what it comes down to is, is she willing to compromise what she wants to be with you? Without resenting you for it?
 
Warlord,
We don't have any children yet, but to answer your question, in our fleet squadron (we just left in December), out of all the wives who had kids, which was at least 10 (the ones who had no kids, worked part or full time, the rest of the guys were bachelors), only ONE worked part-time. The rest were full-time stay at home moms. All of these families owned their own homes, had 2 cars, etc. etc. I'm talking LTJGs on up here. I don't think any of them were running around in porsches or anything, but no one was on food stamps either. And now that we've moved I'm not really working right now except for very part-part time work and we are doing fine.
 
My husband was receiving LtJG pay when we had our oldest daughter. I haven't worked since I was 6mo pregnant with her. We now have four kids ranging in age from almost 15 down to just turned 5. In the first 12 years of our oldest daughters life we moved 12 times (9 duty stations). We have now been in Va Beach almost 3 years and will be here for at least another 3. We have never had money problems. I would say at least 80+% of the wives in our squadrons with kids have been stay at home mom's.

We take a vacation every year, I meet him at least once during cruise w/out kids, we own a nice home, kids are involved in several activities, etc. Officer pay, especially for aviators is nothing to sneeze at in my opinion. My husband has been in the Navy 19 years (05) and is grossing over $100K a year. (including BAH, flight pay, etc)
 
If she ever considers changing careers, i HIGHLY suggest nursing. with a huge shortage of them, you can find a job ANYWHERE. registered nurses are making bank. although we've never moved, my mom says she wouldnt of cared moving a couple of times because of the ease of finding a job. also, all my moms friends that are nurses are driving VERY nice luxury cars and live in nice homes. just my $.02
 
I may be a little late on this topic but I have been on both sides. I was enlisted in the early 90's and I am a Navy wife. I had to have a good resume with great references that can be contacted. I think that if you are educated you can go out in town and get a job fairly easy. The navy does have employment assistance programs available but it may be easier for her to go out into town. I have never had a hard time finding a good job (not behind a register either). We have been to San Diego, New Haven, CT and Norfolk, VA.
As a Navy wife, I strive to be independent! I work, I have my kids, I have my Sailor husband and we have the Navy. For a military wife, it is very important to be supportive but realize that there are sacrifices that will have to be made. Your lives will be fairly normal until you have children the it gets a little complicated. My husband and I love each other and that is our bond. The bottom line is that you have to be confident in your relationship and keep the lines of communication open all of the time. And let her be a part of the decision process. If it gets time for you to pick orders, give the detailer a call and see what is coming up and discuss your options together. My husband has done this for me for 13 years now and he too has made some sacrifices.
If you would have more specific questions or if your girlfriend would like to talk to me I would be happy to answer any questions or concerns that she may have.
 
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