Funniest Airshow Stories

[pourts]

In light of having to work the Miramar airshow this weekend, I thought it would be fun to solicit all of your hilarious airshow stories from years past. For me, they mainly involve answering questions about parts on the airplane with ridiculous answers. The following is a short list of items about the F/A-18 some of you may have never heard of before...

-Shark detector used during ocean ejection situations (some will argue and say its just the lower UHF antenna but they are wrong)

-SEAL delivery device, containing 1 SEAL or two if they are small. Goes into the water and turns into a submarine then the SEALS swim out and assassinate the Prime Minister of Micronesia (some will claim this is a fuel tank, but, again, false)

-Folks always ask "Do you have your own airplane that only you fly?" The answer is no. However, each pilot has a custom made ejection seat from the manufacturer, Martin Baker. If you gain or lose more than 10 pounds the seat must be sent back to the manufacturer to be recalibrated, grounding you for at least 6 weeks. That's why fighter pilots are all such physical specimens. If we gain any weight we risk not flying for months.

you get the idea...

 

[HuggyU2]

Woman looking at my U-2 static display: "Isn't this the airplane that was shot down in Russia?"

Me: "No ma'am... that airplane is still in Russia."

 

[Treetop Flyer]

In light of having to work the Miramar airshow this weekend, I thought it would be fun to solicit all of your hilarious airshow stories from years past. For me, they mainly involve answering questions about parts on the airplane with ridiculous answers. The following is a short list of items about the F/A-18 some of you may have never heard of before...

-Shark detector used during ocean ejection situations (some will argue and say its just the lower UHF antenna but they are wrong)

-SEAL delivery device, containing 1 SEAL or two if they are small. Goes into the water and turns into a submarine then the SEALS swim out and assassinate the Prime Minister of Micronesia (some will claim this is a fuel tank, but, again, false)

-Folks always ask "Do you have your own airplane that only you fly?" The answer is no. However, each pilot has a custom made ejection seat from the manufacturer, Martin Baker. If you gain or lose more than 10 pounds the seat must be sent back to the manufacturer to be recalibrated, grounding you for at least 6 weeks. That's why fighter pilots are all such physical specimens. If we gain any weight we risk not flying for months.

you get the idea...

I thought you were out on July 1st

Oh yeah, and the pitot tube on the T-45 is most certainly a laser.

Yes, your uncle definitely flew the AV-8B in Vietnam. Maybe this one, in fact.

 

[mad dog]

I wasn't allowed to go to airshows...therefore...I have no airshow stories.

 

[MIDNJAC]

I remember a kid maybe 7 to 8, at the same airshow in maybe 2010, asking me, "so does this go all up in space?" I said no. He asked if I had flown in combat and I said "No" (was in the RAG at the time), and he said "oh so you are a newbie?" Laughed my ass off. Also remember various weird questions from Chinese people about the AMRAAM. Also, you are probably familiar with miramar "hangar parties" by now. #1 question asked was "oh man, is this thing retired?".......no fuckhead, this is a combat jet, the lords chariot if you will (specifically the F/A-18C). Bastards.

 

[pourts]

I thought you were out on July 1st

Oh yeah, and the pitot tube on the T-45 is most certainly a laser.

Yes, your uncle definitely flew the AV-8B in Vietnam. Maybe this one, in fact.

July 1 of 2018. There's a possibility that there are no Marine Hornet pilots at next year's airshow at the rate we are currently going.

 

[Flash]

Oh yeah, and the pitot tube on the T-45 is most certainly a laser.

That nuclear/radiation symbol on the nose? That's where the reactor is that powers that laser cannon right in front of the canopy. And yes, it is a much bigger laser than that little clown jet over there.

The twenty different shades of mismatched gray paint? Camouflage.

No, that isn't duct tape.

No ma'am/sir, this was not the kind of plane the President landed on the carrier (the one moment of glory for the Hoov guys).

Random Japanese dudes: "Ahh, PR-XX, you were in Kadena all last week and got back this Monday!" Me: Uhhhh....

 

[scoolbubba]

'Did you fly that thing here?'

No, we put it on a flatbed and drove it here.

 

[xj220]

'Did you fly that thing here?'

No, we put it on a flatbed and drove it here.

Or for P-3s "Does this still fly?" Yes, I just flew it yesterday...

 

[hlg6016]

Flashback, Flew into Trinidad in late 80's for an airshow and got spotted between a Canadian P3 and C130. We enlisted where back on the ramp with some of our new Canadian friends when a younger couple wander on board chattering in French, One of the Canadians tells us the kid is talking crap about Americans trying to impress the girl. So in the spirit of international cooperation he was invited to try on some survival gear, he agreed and was suited up in a poopie suit and a restraining harness that somehow got safety wired to a D ring on the deck (for display purposes of course) for a bit while we retired to the refreshment tent to obtain cold drinks. The PC was less than amused that we didn't return with an adequate supply.

 

[Gatordev]

At Dayton, we had our old 1986 -60B parked next to a one or two year-old -60S. After the standard "does this thing still fly...the paint job looks really rough..." type stuff, I explained that our bird was made in 1986 and asked how old the guy thought the Sierra was. "From the '70's?" Ah, no.

There's also the standard "are those machine guns?" question when pointing at the pitot tubes. Someone else explained they were for measuring speed when air blew into them. Naturally one of the AWs jumped on that and said, "here, try it...no, blow harder!" and then snapped this for posterity.

 

[DanMa1156]

When I had just winged, with the TH-57, we were next to a T-6:

Dad: "Son, look at this plane, isn't this incredible?"
Son: "Eh, it's alright."
**Son sees TH-57**
Son: "NOW THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO FLY!"

Made me feel great for maybe the first time ever about the TH-57.

"Yes, of course Pitot Tubes are machine guns."

"No, I have not killed anyone using the rotor blade of a 60, nor is that one of our main tactics."

"Yes that gun is real."

"I know you look surprised that I told you I'm 28 because you're in awe of what responsibility I have and not that this receding hairline of mine makes me look 39."

"No, my wife does not hate me."

"I prefer the term thoroughbred over Naval Academy grad."

 

[jtmedli]

...,this is a combat jet, the lords chariot if you will (specifically the F/A-18C). Bastards.

Impossible. God's chariot is most certainly a helicopter!

"I prefer the term thoroughbred over Naval Academy grad."

The rest of us prefer to call you inbred.

 

[nittany03]

Yes, your uncle definitely flew the AV-8B in Vietnam. Maybe this one, in fact.

Standing next to a T-45 at Fort Smith, AR:

"Ah remember seein' one a these things when ah was in Gre-NAY-da." Sure you did, Cletus. Sure you did.

 

[Uncle Fester]

Not to me, but an ECMO friend of mine. All-girl Prowler crew took a RAG jet to a show in the Midwest somewhere. Local yokel of a certain age approaches.

Yokel: "So where's the pilot?"
Friend: "She's right over there."
Yokel: "I mean, the pilot who actually flew this plane here."
Friend: "Yeah. Her."
Yokel: "No, the Navy doesn't have woman pilots."
Friend: "..."

One of the weird things I've experienced taking an E-2 to shows is people thinking that the pylon folds open and the dome can retract. Which it did way back in the day, to fit on the ESSEX-class hangar decks, but that went away sometime in the '70's or early '80's. Yet every Cletus seemed to know that tidbit about the Hummer, even if they knew absolutely nothing else ("That dish so y'all can hover?")

Did have one kid convinced that the fuel dump tube was a tail gun.