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For those facing a FAC tour...

phrogpilot73

Well-Known Member
This is something I found on my hard drive today, me and the other FAC's in my Battalion genned it up. Feel free to use it as needed:

Air Officer's Creed

During my time in purgatory, I will never forget that I’m a pilot first. With that in mind, the following standards will be upheld:

• I will refer to everyone, regardless of rank as “dude” or “chick”
• I will ensure that I am always the last to arrive, and the first to depart work every day. Especially when deployed. This allows for ample time to play with myself.
• I will refuse to wear any sunglasses that are deemed “appropriate”. I will only wear ones that not only look eccentric, but also help me score with the ladies.
• When in combat, I can be found in my stateroom. Probably playing with myself.
• “Good Training” generally involves getting from point A to point B (in port) while completely wasted. Can also apply to quality time spent playing with myself.
• Stories that start or end with “I was so wasted” are highly encouraged.
• It is acceptable, and in fact encouraged, to talk about masturbation. Especially while in the act.
• When deployed, spend as much time in my rack as possible. If I sleep twelve hours a day, the deployment will only be half as long.
• Shirk as many of my responsibilities and duties as humanly possible. This will give me more time for “Good Training”.
• Don’t think I’m not going to wear my leather jacket in Chucks. It looks cool, and helps me score with the chicks. Plus, it has pockets (that I can use, unlike the tanker jacket) that keep my hands warm so I can play with myself.
• No matter how many dirty looks I get, my hands will still be in my pockets in cammies. It gives me the opportunity to play pocket pool.
• Included in my packing list for deployment will be my pocket pussy. After all, I have to give my hands a break from playing with myself.
 

pourts

former Marine F/A-18 pilot & FAC, current MBA stud
pilot
Nice. I imagine you also make sure its been at least 3 weeks since your last haircut...at all times.
 

plc67

Active Member
pilot
If I may be a little "retro"
1) Grow a mustache
2) Grow your hair to the limit and push the sideburns beyond, just slightly.
3) Max the 3 mile run and ask if you can PT on your own so that you can stay in decent shape.
4) Wear your wings on flak jackets and other places that enrage the grunts.
DO NOT: brag about your flight pay.
 

Harrier Dude

Living the dream
If I may be a little "retro"
1) Grow a mustache
2) Grow your hair to the limit and push the sideburns beyond, just slightly.
3) Max the 3 mile run and ask if you can PT on your own so that you can stay in decent shape.
4) Wear your wings on flak jackets and other places that enrage the grunts.
DO NOT: brag about your flight pay.

Or your bonus. I know a guy who posted his LES for all of the grunts to admire. Funny? Sure. But payback is a bitch.

Our Headquarters BN CO's wife hated pilots. Talk of the bonus enraged her beyong words. One of my buds made it a point to tell her that "Some years, I don't even know what to do with all of that money. Last time I just bought my wife a handful of diamonds."

This is the exception to the rule listed above. Know your audience. Pick your targets.

My own personal contribution was to ensure that I avoided all use of gungy military terminology. Most notably, I always referred to my cover as either my "hat" or "lid". Despite the fact that I did this every single day prior to "lunch" (not noon chow), one of my Master Sergeants would blow a gasket every single day. Totally worth it.

"Has anybody seen my hat?"
 

Tyler

!
pilot
Contributor
I'm fairly certain there's enough material, experience, and expertise on the subject to warrant a masturbation subforum around here.
 

phrogdriver

More humble than you would understand
pilot
Super Moderator
As Chesty Puller once said,"I don't have a problem with the flight pay, it's the base pay I have an issue with."

So said a flight school attrite.
 
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