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Flash !!! VP CHENEY Shoots Lawyer !!!

And so it begins. Jon Stewart is having an on-air orgasm about this story. Predictable, but it's still funny as fvck. :D

Brett
 
From CNN:
"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS


"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."

"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC


"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.

"That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?"'

"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central


"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."
"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS


"He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "

"The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."
 
Lawman said:
Just heard this on the news, but apparently Cheney was hunting illegally according to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department.

He forgot to pay $7 for a stamp on what he thought was his legal hunting permit.
Click to expand...

Since when is a bird stamp required to shoot lawyers? Strange hunting laws in Texas.


Cheney is only going to get a written warning.
Funny part is that the guy who got shot is going to get a warning as well.
 
According to the news, this guy (he's finally getting his 15 minutes) had a heart attack due to a pellet lodged in his heart. I'm not trying to say anything to the extent that this is more than hunting accident, but two things:
1: both guys were stupid to have this accident occur, Whittington for coming back in from behind without announcing to the other hunters, and Cheney for taking a shot without clearing his field of unaccounted hunting party members. Gun control isn't just using two hands...

2: If this guy dies from being shot, it's still manslaughter.
 
Birdshot pellet made it to his heart? That's some penetration for such a light load.
 
Fly Navy said:
Birdshot pellet made it to his heart? That's some penetration for such a light load.
Click to expand...
Exactly what I was thinking........I've been sprayed before and I have a hard time imagining it being that serious. It may have been a closer range shot than I thought.
 
Ex Rigger said:
Exactly what I was thinking........I've been sprayed before and I have a hard time imagining it being that serious. It may have been a closer range shot than I thought.
Click to expand...

A 28ga loaded with 7 1/2 shot at "30 yds" is not enough to warrant a night in the ICU and a heart attack. And if it was so benign, why did it take a full day for the story to get out... by unofficial sources?
 
squeeze said:
A 28ga loaded with 7 1/2 shot at "30 yds" is not enough to warrant a night in the ICU and a heart attack. And if it was so benign, why did it take a full day for the story to get out... by unofficial sources?
Click to expand...
I would agree......point being is that something doesn't add up. The injury was probably worse than the White House reported because like I said....dude shouldn't be having a heart attack and unlodging shot from his heart getting peppered like they said.
 
Dove/Quail shot pellets do not flow through arteries to the heart.
 
A4sForever said:
Com'on, Squeeze ... you are too smart for that .... it was just a spoof. Dean is excrement. I don't know what VP Cheney is ... and since he is #2 .... I can't say. Right ??? :)
Click to expand...

Well, you can, but sqeeze can't.
 
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