dpiddycanfly
Registered User
Any advice on what to say/not to say in the essay?
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Essay
- Thread starter dpiddycanfly
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3 main things to touch on according to my recruiter: Why you want to be in the Navy, what traits do you have that would benefit the Navy, and what you expect to get out of being an officer.
I focused almost exclusively on these (about being an officer in general, NOT "I want to fly and nothing else"...probably not a good thing to say) and it worked for me. I was final select SNFO.
Hope this helps!
I focused almost exclusively on these (about being an officer in general, NOT "I want to fly and nothing else"...probably not a good thing to say) and it worked for me. I was final select SNFO.
Hope this helps!
dpiddycanfly
Registered User
Thanks man. By the way, what were some of the references you used? The last time I applied was two years ago and was told I could only have three job references. Obviously that didn't work, and I have a lot of good contacts in the military. How many can I use?
I had a ton of job references (every single job within the past 3 years) and then 3 personal references. The personal references were from the Pres. of my college, the EVP of the college, and a long time family friend. No military in there. If you have any other questions that I can answer, feel free to PM me.
I had references from two Deans at my university, one of my high school teachers, and the director of career services at my university. The most important thing I've noticed from other candidate's experiences is to only get references from someone who knows you well and can give examples of your leadership capabilities. I didn't have any job references and I still got my final select. Just choose your references carefully, and I believe you can turn in as many references as you want. I was told three was just the minimum. Good luck!
A brilliant man once said the following:
A few good things to possibly include in a motivational statement:
-why do you want to become an officer of the navy
-what makes you qualified to meet the demanding role of a naval officer
-any leadership experience you've had and how you can contribute it to the navy
-how being an officer in the navy will influence your life and help you in the future
-if you want to be a pilot, don't just focus on the "i want to fly" aspect, spend a considerable portion (if not most) of your essay to solely talk about your aspirations to just become a naval officer.
A few things to not include in a motivational statement.
-your desires to get a sex change
-how your only interest is to bomb people in an F-18
-ranting and raving about how you only want to fly fighter planes because you saw top gun and wanted to be like maverick, etc----
All of this is just my opinion. Other people on this forum probably have their own ideas about what should be included or not, but these were the first that came to my mind. Hope it helps!
A few good things to possibly include in a motivational statement:
-why do you want to become an officer of the navy
-what makes you qualified to meet the demanding role of a naval officer
-any leadership experience you've had and how you can contribute it to the navy
-how being an officer in the navy will influence your life and help you in the future
-if you want to be a pilot, don't just focus on the "i want to fly" aspect, spend a considerable portion (if not most) of your essay to solely talk about your aspirations to just become a naval officer.
A few things to not include in a motivational statement.
-your desires to get a sex change
-how your only interest is to bomb people in an F-18
-ranting and raving about how you only want to fly fighter planes because you saw top gun and wanted to be like maverick, etc----
All of this is just my opinion. Other people on this forum probably have their own ideas about what should be included or not, but these were the first that came to my mind. Hope it helps!
When I put my package together 6 years ago I had a conversation with the Chief who works in the office that reviews application packages and makes the selections. His advice was to leave out the flowery superfluous writing, he said that they hate that stuff as it doesn't give them a real impression of the applicant. While I was working on my application I conducted a physical exam (I was a hospital Corpsman) on the head of the Naval Recruiting district and the advice he gave me was this:
"Think of the essay as a target - which would be more impressive someone who takes a shotgun and blows away the whole target to knock out the bullseye or someone who skillfully sights-in on the center of the target and knocks out the bullseye with a single shot?" The essay if I recall is about why you are seeking a commission in the US Navy...in a clear, decisive manner write your paragraph. Again if I recall correctly the requirment is either 300 or 500 words...this translates to a paragraph, maybe two...full page+ essays I was told don't win you any brownie points and they may not even look at your app as they have so many to read. Sight in and take out the center of the target. Good Luck.
"Think of the essay as a target - which would be more impressive someone who takes a shotgun and blows away the whole target to knock out the bullseye or someone who skillfully sights-in on the center of the target and knocks out the bullseye with a single shot?" The essay if I recall is about why you are seeking a commission in the US Navy...in a clear, decisive manner write your paragraph. Again if I recall correctly the requirment is either 300 or 500 words...this translates to a paragraph, maybe two...full page+ essays I was told don't win you any brownie points and they may not even look at your app as they have so many to read. Sight in and take out the center of the target. Good Luck.
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