This is the TL/DR of this thread. Sage advice.
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Delaying OCS to Redesignate
- Thread starter ematrix
- Start date
For meeting someone, get involved in activities outside the military bubble.
When the time comes, you’ll know what your options are within the military. Just make decisions that are best for you and your family at that point. We have picked my duty stations and jobs based on what works best for us and our kids.
The second thoughts you’re experiencing are normal. I was nervous about the unknown before I shipped to OCS and the time commitment sounds like a lot. 10 years goes by faster than you think and it’s an experience I’d never change.
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
20+ years goes by pretty fast too, before you know it you have a mortgage, car payments, kids in private school (that are smarter than you are), all while wondering how time went by so fast but realizing you have had an amazing journey to get to this point.
Put it this way: there are bitter dudes in the community here and there, sure...I'm sure right now there's some guy handing out towels at a clothing-optional pool in Monaco who's bitching about his work-life balance...but I have never, ever met a single aviator who wished he was a Chop instead.
I think maybe you're also being misled by the idea of a gig like Supply Corps. Seems like a desk job, so it must be a "home every night" type gig, right? But as some others have pointed out, it's most definitely not that. The reality is you're going to be at sea a lot, especially as a JO, and it's a pretty thankless job. One of those "do it right, you're invisible; people only notice the job you're doing when you fuck up," deals.
Jitters are normal. And nothing wrong with doing some soul-searching. But honestly, you'd be a fool to pass this chance up because of them.
I appreciate all the advice and words of wisdom. You all are helping me feel better about what feels like a big risk and passing up this opportunity is bound to be a regret of mine. If others have been able to establish great personal lives while having such an exciting and fulfilling, albeit demanding and difficult, career, there's no reason I cannot do the same.
Dude.
PLEASE take the opportunity and go to OCS. PLEASE. I know you want to be a naval aviator deep down, just by reading this. Don't sacrifice your dream for the possibility that achieving that dream could be difficult at times. I know I'm a random person on the internet, but trust me when I say I know SO many people that have done 10 years as an aviator and have a great family life. This is an opportunity of a lifetime. You have cold feet. Supply is not going to be a better(or newly as fulfilling) life for you over the next four years.
2.5 years flight school+FRS(doable with family life, but you likely won't even have to worry about that)
3 years sea tour(2-3 deployments)
3 years shore(VERY doable with family life)
remaining 1.5 years disassociated(one deployment)
You're looking at 3 eight month deployments in 10 years. The probalitly that you have a wife and kids during more than one of those deployments is EXTREMELY low. Would you give up your dream career because you didn't want to go on ONE deployment whilst having a wife and kids? The answer is unequivocally no.
Also don't believe the advice that "if you're doubting it now, you won't make it". That is not good advice, due respect to anyone who said that. Nobody on this form knows what goes on inside your head, and don't let them tell you they do. Go to OCS, become a freaking Naval Aviator, and prove them wrong.
I'm 20 years old. In ROTC. I don't have a lot of life experience, but when I went to college my girlfriend was trying to convince me that the Naval Aviation commitment would be too hard on us. She had me prepared to DOR. I broke up with her by the end of my first semester. The point is, if I did what you are considering doing(giving up the dream), it would have been the biggest regret of my life.
You will find the right person and build a family just fine.
Imagine you do go supply. 4 and dive. Don't get married until 30. Don't have a kid until 33. Would've been out of the Navy by the time you would've got out as a pilot. You would be regretting that for the rest of your life all the way until you are on your death bed. I promise.
It might be hard, but take the risk and be the person that you wanted to be when you applied. I promise you can do it.
Live your dream man. Please.
If you go P-8’s deployments aren’t tied to ships, you’ll be able to FaceTime your family every night, and as a bonus avoid Norfolk. In the same amount of time the previous person mentioned it would take to just get wings (all CONUS btw) you would have done multiple deployments as a SUPPO.
I've never met a pilot or NFO who wish they were a supply officer. I've met many supply officers who wish they were pilots or NFOs.
Failed Supply Officers don't get a crack at flight school, but failed SNAs and SNFOs, as well as NAs and NFOs have been sent to supply.
Insert that quote from The Rock about winners vs losers. Give yourself a chance to be a winner.
Failed Supply Officers don't get a crack at flight school, but failed SNAs and SNFOs, as well as NAs and NFOs have been sent to supply.
Insert that quote from The Rock about winners vs losers. Give yourself a chance to be a winner.
Plenty of people can maintain a family in Naval Aviation… as far as being there for yours… it’s easier to do when you’re not all consumed with work, but the best odds for that are not being in the military all together. Going to another part of the Navy isn’t going to solve that problem.
Your best bet is to give Naval Aviation a shot. Plenty of SuppOs have DOR’d from flight training once they discovered they didn’t like it.
If the distance from family is giving you second thoughts the best way for you can accomplish all of your goals without straying too far from home is to bow out of active duty military service all together… maybe join your states guard. If you still want to fly, get a couple jobs (or find a Daddy, rich woman or start an Onlyfans…) pay out of pocket to get your ratings an go to the airlines.
Mileage varies. I deployed four times totaling about 21 months over 10 years, and various exercises and detachments on the home cycle took me from home about another 3 months total. I still wouldn't consider that excessive, but some may feel differently. I'm sure many have deployed more/for longer.
We don't know what future events might do to change the optempo we think is normal today.
I remember at a meeting with the CO of my training squadron, and he looked at me and asks what my plans were. I said that I was thinking of heading down to the beach for the weekend for a volleyball tournament, and hoped to not get sunburned as it was painful to put on all the flight gear when burned. Much later I realized I was answering a different question than what he was asking.
Commit to the big 10 year plan and then stop worrying about it. Just do it, and be stubborn about it. Worry about getting sunburned, not where you will be in 10 years.
Like the joke, death or bunga.
If I read between the lines I would say the reason you are even having these incredibly stupid thoughts is because of your break up. I had a good friend that was kicking ass in flight school but DOR ‘d because he thought it would get his ex back. Guess what, it didn’t work. They lasted about a year. Go live your life, 10 years may seem like a long time to you right now but in the big picture it is a blink of an eye.
There are 200 million women in this country, and one US Navy. Think about it.
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