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Decisions...

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frogman

Registered User
I would love some input from the spouses and girlfriends on this forum. I'm about to apply for Marine OCS and am being encouraged to pursue the Air side of the Corps (air contract). I know this subject has been discussed many times, but I've been left a little confused after seeing a lot of differing posts. My wife is very supportive of me becoming an Officer of Marines - and an aviator as well if that is what I decide on. Can anyone give me an idea of how many months of the year I will be gone - what is an average over the career of an NA or NFO? I want to know what I'm asking of my wife before I make this commitment. I get the impression that even when you are not on a 6-9 month deployment, you are frequently leaving home for workups and excercises. It almost seems like it is possible for an NA or NFO to be away from their families for over 10 months a year - for several years in a row..
 

TANGO 1

Member
Contributor
I am not a spouse but could throw in a few.
you are right, but then after your first tour, you leave the aircraft community for a B billet which last anywhere from 2 to 3 years. But then really you going to be gone for a while especially with the ongoing war. I mean there is really not nicer way of saying it. She would have to get used to things. But i am sure other spouses here will even help you better.
 

TANGO 1

Member
Contributor
also there are rotations, so it would not necessarily mean you going out consistently. It used to be like a 6 month on - 6 off.
 

DevilDucksGirl

SNA Wife- Advanced Helos
Frogman-

I definitely think it is very considerate of you to respect your wife's wishes! She afterall, would be in this just as much as you! The life as I have known it so far, isn't the easiest, but I know for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything!

My husband is in SNA training, so I can't vouch for deployments just yet (when he was enlisted, we weren't married), but I can tell you the training environment is very stressful! There are definitely training highs and lows- so, you just have to ride the roller coaster. I know for some guys, it is easier being single, but others they really rely on their spouses for support. I would definitely encourage your wife to come on here and ask any questions or concerns she has, or might have! I think any of us, could help her and you out! I'm sure some of the wives that have been through deployments will chime in and offer you better advice than I, but I do encourage you to follow your dreams! As long as your wife is supportive and loves you, there won't really be any 'getting used to it'. Family is a unit that supports one another! :icon_mi_1

Best of luck to you, and I hope I have helped some what! Feel free to PM me with any questions!
 

bch

Helo Bubba
pilot
Get her into the private spouses forums, so she can get answers from ONLY spouses that have been through it. Not directed at DevilDuck
 
Frogman~
Ditto on what Devilducksgirl said. :icon_mi_1
We are embarking on our second cruise, and it's not really the deployments that are all that difficult as much as the work ups being hard to bear with.
I can honestly say this is true with 95% of spouses.
The work ups are the hardest because they require spouse's to make many different plans because the schedule is so in flux during work ups. :confused:
This is our key to surviving...
Make your plans as though she doesn't expect you to be there. In this order...
Plan A) You not being there
Plan B) There's a possibility you could be there.
Plan C) YEAH!!!! You get to go, all the more exciting..because it's a happy surprise. :D
There is so much in and out during work ups it's hard to establish a routine in our own lives; especially difficult on children since they require routine.
Towards the end of work ups....and I know this is going to sound cruel, but we just really wish you would just stay gone, do your thing, and then come home to be with us. Come home....meaning be here more than a week or two at a time.
The first year is not easy....I considered it to be spousal training. :eek:
I learned what to expect and most important what NOT to expect.
I needed that training in order to realize how flexible you truly have to be.
Now it's second nature to not expect anything and not to get my hopes up.
If she keeps her expectations low...hense going with Plan A, then when Plan C actually works out instead it offers an element of surprise and excitement. :jump2refe :party_125
The absolute BEST thing about all of it is she will have the best support system..whether it be her particular spouse's group, friends or neighbors she meets along the way they will know exactly what she is going through and be able to offer advice and opinions. It's absolutely the life saver in many cases.
It's makes it so much easier when she knows she's not the only one having to go through it.
Being FLEXIBLE is the key...
Don't get me wrong, she will have breaking points, but it's easier to deal with when she can vent to someone who can relate to her.
You should invite her to join the Private Spouse's corner.
There is a diverse group of ladies who could offer a multitude of opinions and advice.
Again, GOOD FOR YOU for taking her into consideration with the decision. You are starting off with the best foot forward.
You have to be able to COMMUNICATE above all else...even when you just don't know. Let her know you don't know vice telling her what you think you know. Find out together!
Good Luck! :angel_125
HrntDrvrsWife :cowboy_12
 
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