As for the genetic line, we'll see here in a while if there's a future airwarrior in the oven. If not, I'm going to be pissed, because the wife has me damn near WORN OUT.
As for the brewing... I read "How to Brew" in its entirety while in Afghanistan. (That was after we spent 2 months sending BO-ridden jihadists to Allah, that is.) There were parts that, true to the disclaimers in the book, were a bit too technical--I was glad for USNA chemistry--for the average Joe off the street, but it seems to be a very complete, concise guide on how to brew. When I mentioned to the owner of the shop I went to today that I had read it, he instantly warmed up a bit and said that I was off to a good start by reading it. Since I don't have a spare refrigerator lying around, I opted for an ale kit, and it seems to be a decent one, with a list of good component ingredients.
Your idea for the swamp cooler is almost verbatim what the owner of the shop suggested for me, as my house has overhead vents for AC.
Incidentally, I'll toss a pitch out for the Homebrewhaus in New Bern, NC. I'd read about the store online, and it did not disappoint, as it has a decent selection of home brewing supplies and some hard to find beers, as well. They also carry some home wine making supplies, but nothing too crazy. The proprietor, Dick, is retired Air Force, and was beyond helpful when I walked in and said, "I know jack shit about this. Help me make beer." Happy to provide directions for anyone who wants them.
Okay, it's time for me to climb in the hot tub with a glass of bourbon.