And you're sure there were no signs indicating the possibility of this before you got hitched?
There are always signs, they're just blissfully ignored.
Brett
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After OCS
- Thread starter Holly85
- Start date
There are always signs, they're just blissfully ignored.
Brett
Dear god.
Some words of advice I gave to all students starting Primary. While in flight training: if you are married, stay married; if you are single, stay single.
I waited until I was done with my 2nd sea tour 6 month deployment before getting married. Looking at all my divorced squadron mates, I knew this was a good choice.
I waited until I was done with my 2nd sea tour 6 month deployment before getting married. Looking at all my divorced squadron mates, I knew this was a good choice.
0621girl
Member
Meh, I think it has little to do with cruising, it has to do with understanding. It just coming to terms with the fact that the mission comes first, and just sucking it up and dealing with that. Being a big girl about it, and not having a total breakdown over a 3 wk float. Some women have complete meltdowns over having to change a lightbulb by themselves, others can successfully run a household and 6 kids for 12 mos with only the occasional breakdown, and NEVER on the porch of a CO.
Military life will magnify your GF. Heck, maybe marriage magnifies people. Brett is right, there are ALWAYS signs, but they are ignored or somehow cast in a positive light til you kind of wish them away. If you think its soooo cute how she is super close to her Mom and loves her hometown, in 3 yrs you will be kicking yourself when you are a geo-bach because she cant leave her teddybears and still lives with her Mommy.
If you think she is a independant, self sufficient kind of gal who can handle it, great. Meanwhile, nothing anyone says to you is going to matter, because everyone thinks they are special and different and above it all.
MB: I really want to meet your XW. lol. She seems like a rocking good time.
Military life will magnify your GF. Heck, maybe marriage magnifies people. Brett is right, there are ALWAYS signs, but they are ignored or somehow cast in a positive light til you kind of wish them away. If you think its soooo cute how she is super close to her Mom and loves her hometown, in 3 yrs you will be kicking yourself when you are a geo-bach because she cant leave her teddybears and still lives with her Mommy.
If you think she is a independant, self sufficient kind of gal who can handle it, great. Meanwhile, nothing anyone says to you is going to matter, because everyone thinks they are special and different and above it all.
MB: I really want to meet your XW. lol. She seems like a rocking good time.
I have seen half a dozen close friends essentially throw their careers away and take career killing orders so "she" could be closer to her family/hometown/etc. One of them, who would have gone to the RAG, told me recently that after settling back in to her hometown, she began to complain about missing Whidbey - CHRIST ALMIGHTY! The other side of that coin is a friend of mine who ended up divorced over the same issue - probably best in the long run. IMO, unless the woman is the primary bread-winner (and how often does that happen), she gets to STFU, toe the line, and get behind her husband's career.
@0621girl: I think we let many adult women get away with behaving like children in this country. God forbid we upset the delicate flower of femininity and ask her to be responsible for her actions, or support herself, etc. Question for you - what differences have you noticed between the US and Australia in this matter?
Brett
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
That route has always appealed to me, as many American chicks have horrible attitudes, but the question is more of a sociological curiosity.
Brett
I thoroughly enjoyed my visit to Perth. Aussie women rocked.
Absolutely, positively best possible advice. Even better, wait until AFTER the first cruise/deployment.
0621girl
Member
Tiptoeing my way down the EXTREMELY thin line between honesty and plain good manners.....
There is a big difference. Obviously I will be using sweeping generalizations here, so I dont want to have 456 replies about how anyone knows of anyone who left home at 12 and now runs a fortune 500 company, okey dokey? :icon_tong One of the two things I find the biggest differences about here vs. Australia is the growing up of people in general. In Australia, you finish high school, you move out, you go to University or get a job (most often both) and you party hard til you are in your late 20's, meet a nice person and get married around 30. 'Kids' living at home past 21 are a rarity, and frankly a joke. MOST people do international travel, (I did a year in London, with some friends) and just grow up.
Here, meeting a woman who has travelled independantly (read: not on the military ticket, and not on family trips to EuroDisney) is hard to find. I have actually never met one here, and I have lived here 7+ yrs.
So yeah, I agree with you re: delicate flowers. Add to it 'entitlement syndrome' and 'parochial' and I am way over that aforementioned line.
This is not to say I dont think there are many millions of exceptions to the rule, or that I have many very good friends here, but hey, since you asked....
And the second thing is the differences in the ideas on sex. But thats not something for the main forums.
IntruderDriver: I am from Perth. :icon_mi_1
Cate
Pretty much invincible
Now, hold on a minute - Are we delicate little undisturbed hothouse flowers, or are we burly, unfeminine manly-women with unshaved legs and untamed tempers, trying to live like men and do jobs that men should do? My little girlie brain is having a bear of a time processing the contradictions.
thenuge
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
marrying a foreign babe? I'm married to a Japanese gal. I thought I would go ahead and pass on all the BS I was dealing with with all the American girls. I got my pen and pad out and did the ol' NEGATIVE / POSITIVES
/
/
In the end, I settled on Japanese. It was a win-win I thought, and yes she spoke english albeit with an Australian accent. Long story short; when I moved her to the states I think it took her about 6 months before she became completely Americanized. I came back from cruise and a different woman stood before me. She was listning to Chaka Khan and and Re-re.
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T" , said she, still pronouncing her r's like l's. It was cute and disturbing at the same time. Also, even though you can bypass the undesired behavior of the North American female, women from other cultures have their own issues. BELIEVE IT. If you want to consult me on this issue shoot me a PM, I fancy myself an expert:icon_wink. Been in the game for seven years now.
thenuge, out
0621girl
Member
You married your wife BECAUSE she was japanese? Sorry, but that sounds weird. She spoke English with a Japanese accent. To speak it with an Australian accent she would need to be from Australia.