Typical flying day for E-2 bubbas:
1000: Roll out of the rack
1005-1030: Wander the boat looking for a working shower with hot water
1030-1040: Give up, stand under the cold water drip until someone bangs on the stall and tells you to "take a navy shower"
1050: Go looking for people to eat lunch
1100-1130: Lunch. Chicken again. Debate the quality of the dog.
1145: Wander up to the ready room. Send email to girlfriend long enough to keep her from throwing your $hit out on the curb. Try to pay your bills online.
1200: Give up on the internet connection. What's one more week on the Visa?
1205: Cornered by CICO and sent to "make the rounds"
1205-1230: Try to extract info from catatonic enlisted watchstanders, knowing it'll all change by brief time anyway.
1230: Give CICO info from your rounds. CICO tells you it's all changed and we have a completely different mission now. But that will change by brief time anyway.
1245-1345: "Mission planning". Make mission notes so you can scribble them out during the brief.
1345: Check email again. Girlfriend says she got $100 for your CD collection and spent it on shoes. Should have sent a longer email.
1400: Mass brief on TV from CVIC: "THE PLAN". It's changed again.
1415: Crew brief: "The Plan". Get airborne and improvise.
1430: NFO huddle: "the plan". We'll check in with Red Crown and find out what's going on. Changes are in flux, so stand by.
1445-1530: Meditate in Ready Room chair. Relish stiffarming the Hinges, as you're "in your bubble" and they can't task you. Suckers.
1530: Realize you were supposed to walk ten minutes ago. Grab the 30-lb bag of crypto, refs, pistols, ammo, blood chits. Sign it all out from sleeping SDO.
1540: Paraloft. The riggers have all your gear out for inspection. Stand around awkwardly while the rest of the crew waits for you.
1550: To the roof! Get to the plane without being killed, dodging exhaust, fuel lines, bomb racks, hooks, chains, and sleep-deprived 19-year-old petty officers driving tractors like they're auditioning for "Maximum Overdrive II"
1600-1620: Preflight. Stand around while a dozen ATs and AEs troubleshoot your mighty, dripping warbird. Kick them out so you can get the system turned on. Bring them back in when you realize you can't turn anything on until they finish.
1630: "On the flight deck, start up the early goes. Start 'em up!"
1640-1700: Engines cranked up, fume while the handlers forget you're an early launch and get caught behind the Hornet conga line.
1700: "Lookin' forward, lookin' aft, touchin' the deck, pushin' the button, we're outta here!" WHOOOOM! The best part of the flight over, commence The Mission.
1700-2100: The Mission. Four hours in a dark room staring at a computer screen. Try not to dwell on the fact that you should have listened to your cousin and sold insurance with him. Keep the fighters out of restricted airspace. Resist telling AW to kiss your ass. Know that you saved at least three guys' careers tonight.
2100: Established in Marshal. Expect manual push. Oh, crap. Settle in for the Hummer Dance.
2100-2130: Drone around in Marshal. Try to ignore the two cokes you had during the flight pressing on your bladder - you know as soon as you unstrap and go aft to the relief tube, you'll get pushed.
2130: "601 commencing" Hallelujiah!
2140: Taking a trap in the back of an E-2: the ultimate act of faith in another human being's skills.
2150: "Screw it, we'll debrief at Rats"
2200: Email: VISA now owns your car. Should have paid that bill.
2230: Midrats. Double cheese slider that would get most diners closed by the Health Dept, but that's what makes it sooooo good. At least two fighter guys say "thanks for the good work tonight," which translates as, "you saved my ass, guy."
2300-0200: HALO.
0230: In the rack. Another great Naval Air Day.
Typical nonflying day:
1200: Roll out of the rack, go to lunch
1200-1630: Nap, play HALO, nap, dodge the hinges.
1700: Dinner
1800: Sneak into the ready room to check email, simulate concern for ground job
1830-2100: HALO, JOPA roll 'em ("'Super Troopers' again?")
2100-2300: Pre-rats nap
2300: Rats
* If you sleep 12 hours a day, cruise is only 3 months long!