-
Please take a moment and update your account profile. If you have an updated account profile with basic information on why you are on Air Warriors it will help other people respond to your posts. How do you update your profile you ask?
Go here:
Edit Account Details and Profile
Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
Lucy
Member
Of course!Is that like having badass nunchuck skills?
This is my first attempt and a very rough draft. Any help is appreciated.
I want to become a Navy Officer because I believe that I have developed the skills to be a leader at the highest level. I joined the Navy in 2000 as an undesignated airman, and left the Navy in 2010 as a shop supervisor responsible for the power-plant systems of an entire EA-6B squadron. Starting at the bottom as an E-1 moving boxes in the bottom of a ship, and leaving as an E-5 responsible for the safety of personnel and equipment in a combat zone taught me a great deal about what it takes to be successful throughout the ranks. It takes leadership, perseverance, and integrity.
I learned about leadership, perseverance, and integrity through my working relationships with naval aviators and senior enlisted. Early in my career as a plane captain I was given the responsibility of ensuring that an aircraft was prepped and safe for flight. Later in my career I would be given the responsibility of being the final word on the installation of parts before sending an aircraft into a combat zone. I took my job very seriously and it demanded the highest level of integrity possible. Pilots counted on my word and professionalism to bring them home safe from a flight and I was presented with several awards from the Navy and Air Force for my actions while performing these duties.
Although I left active duty to pursue a college degree I still felt a profound sense of duty and decided to join the Navy Reserves as an Intelligence Specialist. I didn’t know it at the time but becoming an Intelligence Specialist would ignite a spark, and after studying intelligence over the past year I know it is what I want to do as a career for the Navy, and I want to do it at the highest levels. I believe that I can achieve this by becoming an Active Duty Officer.
I have exceeded my first goal of achieving a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Chapman University by graduating Cum Laude for academic excellence. Although a psychology degree is not a technical degree it is a valuable degree to hold while studying intelligence. Psychology has a major emphasis on research, and research is the core of the intelligence profession. I have built a solid academic foundation and I am now prepared to tailor my master’s degree with my future Navy career, and I will put the same amount of effort into my next degree as I did my first.
I believe that my combination of military experience, education, and constant motivation to improve make me an ideal asset to join your ranks as an Officer in the United States Navy. It is my ultimate goal, and I believe I have spent the last decade of my life preparing for this opportunity. I would be honored to spend the next decade or more as a Navy Officer achieving new goals and leading the future of the Navy.
I want to become a Navy Officer because I believe that I have developed the skills to be a leader at the highest level. I joined the Navy in 2000 as an undesignated airman, and left the Navy in 2010 as a shop supervisor responsible for the power-plant systems of an entire EA-6B squadron. Starting at the bottom as an E-1 moving boxes in the bottom of a ship, and leaving as an E-5 responsible for the safety of personnel and equipment in a combat zone taught me a great deal about what it takes to be successful throughout the ranks. It takes leadership, perseverance, and integrity.
I learned about leadership, perseverance, and integrity through my working relationships with naval aviators and senior enlisted. Early in my career as a plane captain I was given the responsibility of ensuring that an aircraft was prepped and safe for flight. Later in my career I would be given the responsibility of being the final word on the installation of parts before sending an aircraft into a combat zone. I took my job very seriously and it demanded the highest level of integrity possible. Pilots counted on my word and professionalism to bring them home safe from a flight and I was presented with several awards from the Navy and Air Force for my actions while performing these duties.
Although I left active duty to pursue a college degree I still felt a profound sense of duty and decided to join the Navy Reserves as an Intelligence Specialist. I didn’t know it at the time but becoming an Intelligence Specialist would ignite a spark, and after studying intelligence over the past year I know it is what I want to do as a career for the Navy, and I want to do it at the highest levels. I believe that I can achieve this by becoming an Active Duty Officer.
I have exceeded my first goal of achieving a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Chapman University by graduating Cum Laude for academic excellence. Although a psychology degree is not a technical degree it is a valuable degree to hold while studying intelligence. Psychology has a major emphasis on research, and research is the core of the intelligence profession. I have built a solid academic foundation and I am now prepared to tailor my master’s degree with my future Navy career, and I will put the same amount of effort into my next degree as I did my first.
I believe that my combination of military experience, education, and constant motivation to improve make me an ideal asset to join your ranks as an Officer in the United States Navy. It is my ultimate goal, and I believe I have spent the last decade of my life preparing for this opportunity. I would be honored to spend the next decade or more as a Navy Officer achieving new goals and leading the future of the Navy.
You can PM me. I'll do a grammar, copy, structure, and tone edit. I'm not a content expert since I'm a civilian, but I can copy edit the hell out of it.
Can I send you mine too? I posted it in here last week but didn't receive any critiques.
I am writing this VIA my phone so I am going to be very short. Remember you are writing this statement to a board of military officers so there is no need to speak to them as though they don't know what a CDI, PC, or WC Sup does. They also know the difference between a E-1 and E-5. Stuff they may not know is how many people did you supervise. How many people did you train. So basically by adding all the extra unnecessary information you do yourself a disservice. Short and sweet is the best way to attack this statement. It will take me sometime but I will give you a proper critique as soon as I have time.
BTW... There is a part or two in your statement that reminds me of my own... Which may be a good thing or a bad thing...
Thanks for having a look, I wasn't sure how detailed I should be. I noticed that a lot of the statements on here are pretty general so that is what I was going off of. I will grab some evals and throw some specifics in it for my next draft.I am writing this VIA my phone so I am going to be very short. Remember you are writing this statement to a board of military officers so there is no need to speak to them as though they don't know what a CDI, PC, or WC Sup does. They also know the difference between a E-1 and E-5. Stuff they may not know is how many people did you supervise. How many people did you train. So basically by adding all the extra unnecessary information you do yourself a disservice. Short and sweet is the best way to attack this statement. It will take me sometime but I will give you a proper critique as soon as I have time.
BTW... There is a part or two in your statement that reminds me of my own... Which may be a good thing or a bad thing...