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Relationship Question

T

tspotting84

New Member
I posted this on usnavyocs.org too but I'd like to see if any of you guys and gals have some info.

"Just curious if anyone else out there has had this issue, has any input, or knows of anyone with this issue.

So I'm in a two year relationship.

I just got selected for OCS.

He just signed enlisted.

Will there really be an issue to continue dating? Refering to the fraternazation issue I keep hearing about.

(I already know that time wise our schedules won't align all that much.)

How do you all actually deal with the rules? Are they made to be broken? "
 
I am not intimately familiar with all of the rules on this subject, but I'm fairly certain that if you were in a pre-existing relationship before your military service (for either one of you) then you have nothing to worry about.
 
Being "married" before the fact is one thing, just being "friends" is another. I have seen enlisted spouses (male & female) appear at social functions out of uniform with their officer spouse during command functions. Usually because both met and married while they were enlisted. If this is a long-distance thing, you might be able to make it work short term. But I would seriously consider the relationship in the context of you being a newly commissioned officer and your responsibility to be a Leader !
:icon_carn
 
If you're married you're fine, if not you're playing with fire, especially should someone who finds out about is anally retentive and gets rubbed the wrong way by either one of you.
 
tspotting84 said:
I posted this on usnavyocs.org too but I'd like to see if any of you guys and gals have some info.

"Just curious if anyone else out there has had this issue, has any input, or knows of anyone with this issue.

So I'm in a two year relationship.

I just got selected for OCS.

He just signed enlisted.

Will there really be an issue to continue dating? Refering to the fraternazation issue I keep hearing about.

(I already know that time wise our schedules won't align all that much.)

How do you all actually deal with the rules? Are they made to be broken? "
Click to expand...

To answer your questions directly, in order.......

Yes there will be an issue. It, fraternization, officer-enlisted dating included, is against the rules.

You follow them. No.
 
I'm no expert, but I would hazard a guess that not dating the enlisted is one of the fundamentals of Officership. (someone with some stars on his collar said that once).

Pre-existing relationship plea? Doubtful.

From OPNAVINST 5370.2B: "Dating, shared living accommodations, intimate or sexual relations, commercial solicitations, private business partnerships, gambling and borrowing money between officers and enlisted members, regardless of Service, are unduly familiar and are prohibited."
 
If you are honestly asking whether military rules and regulations are made to be broken, perhaps you should consider another profession.
 
Cordespc said:
From OPNAVINST 5370.2B: "Dating, shared living accommodations, intimate or sexual relations, commercial solicitations, private business partnerships, gambling and borrowing money between officers and enlisted members, regardless of Service, are unduly familiar and are prohibited."
Click to expand...

I'm not trying to question the OPNAVINST but I'm curious as to if there's any exceptions. Say I have a close family member enlisted in the military and I'm and officer. If we inheret a business, is that against the OPNAVINST? Or what if we are at a family function and start a card game or a pool game and there is gambling. Is that prohibited? I guess by the letter of the law...right?
 
KSUFLY said:
I'm not trying to question the OPNAVINST but I'm curious as to if there's any exceptions. Say I have a close family member enlisted in the military and I'm and officer. If we inheret a business, is that against the OPNAVINST? Or what if we are at a family function and start a card game or a pool game and there is gambling. Is that prohibited? I guess by the letter of the law...right?
Click to expand...


Not sure about that stuff, and I'm too lazy to dig, but I doubt either of those situations would raise any eyebrows. I've known officers and senior enlisted folk who would hire young airmen to work for them in their off-duty time. Wrong? Maybe.

I will, however, strongly advise you to avoid, and terminate immediately, any sexual relationships with any of your "close family members" who are enlisted, be they pre-existing or not. :D
 
KSUFLY said:
I'm not trying to question the OPNAVINST but I'm curious as to if there's any exceptions. Say I have a close family member enlisted in the military and I'm and officer. If we inheret a business, is that against the OPNAVINST? Or what if we are at a family function and start a card game or a pool game and there is gambling. Is that prohibited? I guess by the letter of the law...right?
Click to expand...
Not gonna bother finding the actual instruction or order, but I am pretty sure active duty officers cannot have outside employment.
And I agree, the military doesn't consider dating a pre-existing relationship. The pre-existing pertains mostly to two enlisted getting married then one getting a comission.
 
There is always the obvious, get married before going to OCS. That, break it off, or don’t seek a commission, are your 3 choices.
 
Cordespc said:
...any sexual relationships with any of your "close family members" who are enlisted, be they pre-existing or not... :D
Click to expand...

That might be a problem, but last time I checked we don't have any Navy bases in Kentucky! :icon_tong


Junior said:
Not gonna bother finding the actual instruction or order, but I am pretty sure active duty officers cannot have outside employment.
Click to expand...

That's not entirely true, several guys down in the A-pool right now have part time jobs to pass the time. The only caveat is they have to submit a chit to the LT's in Flight Management to get it reviewed and approved/denied. I do doubt many guys elsewhere than here have other employment.


@tspotting84As for the original question, back in the day I was in Nuke school with a guy and gal that were married. Turned out he got picked up for STA-21 and she didn't but since they were already married it wasn't a big deal. If they were just dating I'm pretty certain they would've had to call things off. Last I heard I think she had to get out of the Navy after her initial enlistment was up, however.

You could just go with what you have as it is but that'd really be playing with fire. I guess the biggest question is which is more important right now, your career or your relationship. Tough, but that's how it goes.
 
There seems to be a lot of tangents clouding the original poster's question. Unless you were/are married beforehand (I.E. before you commission or he enlists), it's not allowed - no exceptions. Additionally, that would probably be the worst possible reason to actually get married - enough said.

Brett
 
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