You're correct - there is no official policy barring female officers from having children. And yes, there are some female officers who have children. However, they are choosing to do so at a substantially lower rate than their male counterparts.
It's one thing to have to work long hours. It's another thing for someone to go through the hassle of rebuilding their family support system and integrating into a new community every 2-3 years so that both spouses can maintain a career. That is something that the vast majority of people in the civilian workforce are not faced with doing, and I have encountered very few officers with children who have a spouse that works full-time.
To the first bolded, is that a true problem, or is it just something that looks uncomfortable and bad on paper?
For the second, that's counter to my experience. I've known many who had wives who worked full time. Granted, I've seen a lot less of that since our exile overseas, but in San Diego, more of our Navy friends had working spouses than not. As kids started to come, those numbers dropped a bit, but the same thing happened with my civilian friends--more of them dropped to one working parent. But I still know plenty of dual income military families with kids.
And is a difficulty having two working parents the same as a difficulty attracting women? Is there are reason husband's can't be the stay-at-home? Sure, it's not common, but that's on society, not the Navy. If a female pilot (or sailor) wants to stay in, she can do so in the same ways her males counterparts do--working spouse and figure out day care, or have the other parent stay home. Does it fall to the Navy to come up with a special program simply to counteract societal norms that dad's aren't usually the primary parent? It's interesting to me that your argument was kind of that the Navy isn't friendly/attractive to women, but to support that you mention how difficult it is to have 2 working parents. That same difficulty applies to men, but they solve it often with a stay at home mom. So the assumption is that somehow women can't do that, too. But they can. If they won't, isn't that on them if they and their spouse choose to toe the line of societal expectation rather than have dad quit his civilian job, if they find they can't make two working parents work?
Also, I'm not sure that a lower percentage of dual income parents shows a problem with the Navy. Heck, it could just as easily be argued that the Navy, with it's steady employment (relatively), decent pay, and solid benefits allows families to choose to be dual income in ways that many civilian jobs don't.
I'm curious what you think might be a solution to this perceived problem. If I concede that a difficulty in having two working parents is a problem with the Navy, what fixes that? Fewer deployments? More personnel which in theory shortens working hours a bit? If that's the kind of thing you are thinking, I'm sure everyone would love that and it would benefit far more than just parents. But I think there's a roughly 0% chance of it happening. And do those things make the Navy more attractive to women specifically, which was the original issue, or to everyone?