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What is the best way to convince parents?
- Thread starter msm
- Start date
I think the important thing here is to consider where exactly your parents' concerns lie, and then do your best to alleviate those concerns. As was said earlier, it is a possibility that they may never agree with your choice; only you can tell how difficult that would be to deal with in your own particular case. I think I can understand parents being concerned regarding the danger to life and limb. Naval aviation has never been the safest career, and probably some parents will tend to envision their son or daughter being killed in a horrific wreck or disappearing somewhere over the Pacific, that sort of thing. But once you're an adult, you are the one to choose that risk. I for one want to serve my country, and while I have no desire to die in combat, I am willing to join the many thousands who have given their lives if it is required of me. Freedom is not free. Your parents and grandparents sacrificed for what you have, and it is your responsibility as a citizen to do the same. Moving on, I suspect that matters of economics and such are less likely to be a primary concern, but I think it should be fairly easy to demonstrate that you're not going to starve. Another thing is that a fair number of parents don't want to give up their vision for what they think their children should do with their lives, and again, at some point you're the one who ultimately needs to make the decision. Finally, don't think you need to make the decision without your parents input. I guarantee there will be a lot more hurt feelings if you sign up against your parents wishes without at least sitting down and telling them what your plans are, what the benefits and risks are, and giving them the opportunity to let you know what they think. You might learn something, and I doubt you'd regret it. If they still don't agree with your wishes, it is then your prerogative to decide whether or not they have good reason for not wanting you to join and if you are going to go against their wishes.
My sister joined the Navy last year to go into linguistics, and my Mom especially was against that. So far she hasn't expressly changed her mind on it, but my sister seems to be doing well and my Mom doesn't seem worried about it any more. In my case, my parents have been hesitant about my wanting to join. Part of it is that they think it might be better for me to go to a flight school and get my commercial and Airline Transport License, and also I think they're of the opinion that Navy aviation is a jock's world that I would have a hard time fitting in to. Basically, on the first one I don't think they realize how tight the airline industry is right now and how strong the likelihood of me being stuck with a pile of debt and no flying job; on the second, no, I'm not at all a jock, but I've been around enough and am athletic enough to get along with them, and I think they overestimate on that count. The other major concern that comes to mind is political. Both my parents and I have no problem with the idea of me serving under the current administration, although I am not about to suggest that it is without it's issues. The concern is what things might change if the likes of Hillary Clinton or John Kerry were to become president. I don't want to get into a political discussion here, so I'll just say that the philosophy regarding the military was vastly different under Clinton than it is under Bush, and I think my parents do have legitimate concerns about what a change in leadership would mean. All in all, I consider it worth all the potential risks, and if I am offered a flight school slot I can hardly imagine turning it down.
My sister joined the Navy last year to go into linguistics, and my Mom especially was against that. So far she hasn't expressly changed her mind on it, but my sister seems to be doing well and my Mom doesn't seem worried about it any more. In my case, my parents have been hesitant about my wanting to join. Part of it is that they think it might be better for me to go to a flight school and get my commercial and Airline Transport License, and also I think they're of the opinion that Navy aviation is a jock's world that I would have a hard time fitting in to. Basically, on the first one I don't think they realize how tight the airline industry is right now and how strong the likelihood of me being stuck with a pile of debt and no flying job; on the second, no, I'm not at all a jock, but I've been around enough and am athletic enough to get along with them, and I think they overestimate on that count. The other major concern that comes to mind is political. Both my parents and I have no problem with the idea of me serving under the current administration, although I am not about to suggest that it is without it's issues. The concern is what things might change if the likes of Hillary Clinton or John Kerry were to become president. I don't want to get into a political discussion here, so I'll just say that the philosophy regarding the military was vastly different under Clinton than it is under Bush, and I think my parents do have legitimate concerns about what a change in leadership would mean. All in all, I consider it worth all the potential risks, and if I am offered a flight school slot I can hardly imagine turning it down.
ItsTurboTime said:
Dude, you sound a lot like me. I've come to the realization that I wasn't meant to live in a cubicle for the rest of my life. I'm a software engineer (whatever that is), and I know I can't do this forever. Every day I go to work, the Navy looks better and better. I was actually contemplating gouging my eyes out with a Sharpie the other day at work.
Seeing Office Space for the first time was a big turning point for me. I realized that I could only do the software thing long enough to find something better to do.
Here's the best advice I can give someone with parental reservations. You are seeking a commission in the United States military, a job which requires a high level of maturity. If you need your parents approval, find another place of employment. I understand such comments from a high school senior, but not from someone who considers themself to be leadership material. You make the decision for yourself without regard for your parents, I'm sure they didn't consult you on their lifes choices. The enlisted servicemembers deserve adult leadership.
ItsTurboTime
Registered User
saltpeter said:
I disagree. Your parents are two people who (with the exception of some rare cases) deserve your respect through the rest of your life; not until you turn 18, and even once theirs is over. If my parents hadn't approved, yes, I'd probably still be applying to OCS, but I did my best to sell them on it. I want their support, and I want to know that what I'm doing is making them proud. I think knowing who to respect is probably a helpful quality for an officer.
You have your parents respect because of your moral fiber, your character, and your intestinal fortitude. Not for the job you hold. Your parents would hold you to a much higher esteem if they believed you were capable of making a mature decision for yourself, without seeking their approval. You are not seeking employment as a drug dealer where you might be bringing shame upon your family. At some point, your decision about your future will be made solely by you and you will accept the consequences solely for your decisions. When this happens you will be an adult. The intial writer is interested in the BDCP program, so I'd guess he's/she's 20-22. An adult, like it or not, and it's now time to keep family abreast of your decisions, not allow them to unduely influence them.
My parents knew that its always what I wanted to do, but when the talk came down to actually doing it, it was a whole different story. They pretty much gave me the whole "I dont even want to talk about it" crap. When I finally got involved in the process, they came around. The way that it worked out for me was more of a negotiation. It started out as "I'm going to do this" versus "No you're not". and evolved into something like "well flying is ok, but don't do anything else". After several rounds of arguing about stuff and after talking about all the things that they "knew" about how the recruiters will say anything...blah blah blah...they are now happy about what I want to do. If a conversation ever gets on the topic of going to war, killing, getting killed, bad stuff heard on the news it turns into the "I dont want to talk about it" phase. But if I can bring the foreign parents to come around, then it cant be too hard!