Viva La France....but why?

[wildflyin69]

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a
French
one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without
your
accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something
about
it."
---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German
Army
is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed
any
better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can
sit
outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this
is
more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of
whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)






"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress
of
the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but
doesn't
have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona


"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because
he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is
French, people."
--Conan O'Brien


"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help
us
get the Germans out of France!"
---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came
marching
into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.




Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

 

[eaw75]

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- P.J. O'Rourke

France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper.
- Billy Wilder

A fighting Frenchman runs away from even a she-goat.
- Russian saying

I suppose life can never get entirely dull to an American, because whenever he can't strike up any other way to put in his time he can always get away with a few years trying to find out who his grandfather was!
- Paul Bourget to Mark Twain

Right, your Excellency! But I reckon a Frenchman's got his little stand-by for a dull time, too; because when all other interests fail he can turn in and see if he can't find out who his father was!
- Mark Twain in reply

 

[Ryanb5005]

If you've been watching the news lately, France has deployed 500 soldiers to Iraq to teach them how to surrender. I personally think this is a great move. Who better to teach you the fine qualities of laying down your arms then the French.

 

[megan620]

Thanks for sharing the quotes....I got a good laugh out of it!

At least the French are good for something....entertaining the world with their idiocy!

 

[IFT2O]

I don't know if this is true but it's supposed to be the email for the French House of Parliment customer.services@danone.com. Let 'em know how much they mean to us!

Chris

 

[ghost_ttu]

I saw an add the other day for a French assault rifle, never been fired, dropped once.

Eliminate distractions, focus on your goals and visualize what you hope to accomplish.

 

[davidsin]

Another reason why the UN is obselete....the French has a permanent seat in the security counsel. Now how'd that happen??

------------------------------------------
Semper Fi

 

[Valion310]

And as an old sea dog myself, I know good coffee. And the French's little midget coffee cups with their sluggy coffee is really yucky!

ehh ... ya... just mak'n a pointless point in the precession of points.

Valion310 thinks his comment was a little lame, but the quotes were funny!

 

[eaw75]

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,
there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his
face as if he had been slapped there.
The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.'
And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'




An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French.