Surviving military aviation Chapter 1: What not to do

[Flugelman]

A TINS story told by a LCDR (since passed-RIP) in my first squadron. As a JO he was assigned to a Banshee squadron on deployment and was in port. I guess there was an officer's brow and a separate enlisted brow on this carrier. He went ashore on liberty, came back after lights out somewhat in his cups and went to what he thought was the head to relieve the pressure. When he realized the sound of the stream wasn't quite right and his eyes became adjusted it became apparent he was pissing on someone's desk instead of the urinal. He shut it off and got the hell out. Turns out they had moved the officer's brow to another level while he was on liberty. The next morning his XO was raging about someone pissing on his desk.

 

[BusyBee604]

We had a phantom sheeter on the Connie who targeted fuel stations and then called the bridge to report his deed.

It came to mind, with modern DNA technology and the Navy's zero-defect policy...would it be possible to retrieve a DNA sample from the offending 'turd'? Then get a DNA sample from everyone on the ship...and nail the phantom? Would it be worth the time/expense?

I'm thinkin' that sometime down the road, there will be a master computerized file (FBI?) with DNA sanples of all US Citizens.

Any thoughts?
BzB

 

[Harrier Dude]

I shit in the bushes outside the BOQ in Yuma, because after the Tandoori - I wasn't going to make it to ANY room in time... And I survived...

I will have a shovel, rake, bucket, and scrub brush ready for your arrival.

There will be a reckoning!!

 

[magnetfreezer]

It came to mind, with modern DNA technology and the Navy's zero-defect policy...would it be possible to retrieve a DNA sample from the offending 'turd'? Then get a DNA sample from everyone on the ship...and nail the phantom? Would it be worth the time/expense?

I'm thinkin' that sometime down the road, there will be a master computerized file (FBI?) with DNA sanples of all US Citizens.

Any thoughts?
BzB

Don't they take DNA samples for the whole mil anyway for casualty ID?

Sent from my DROID Pro using Tapatalk 2

 

[707guy]

this thread is awesome

+1

 

[zab1001]

I shit in the bushes outside the BOQ in Yuma, because after the Tandoori - I wasn't going to make it to ANY room in time... And I survived...

This guy did it on a paper plate. Which somehow makes it weirder/funnier/grosser than if he had done it right on the carpet or even on a real plate. At least in my book, I dunno. Kind of like how a duck is always funnier than a chicken, except when both are dead. Because a dead chicken is still funny, but a dead duck is just sad. Mostly due to the quack factor. Carry on.

 

[C420sailor]

We had a guy in my RAG class who was well known for getting blackout drunk and pissing in his chest of drawers, all over his clothes---and not remembering any of it.

 

[xj220]

We had a guy in my RAG class who was well known for getting blackout drunk and pissing in his chest of drawers, all over his clothes---and not remembering any of it.

You'd think you'd learn after the first time. You'd think...

 

[helolumpy]

We had a guy in my RAG class who was well known for getting blackout drunk and pissing in his chest of drawers, all over his clothes---and not remembering any of it.

My room mate during my first cruise did that in the BOQ at SERE school. Although it wasn't a drawer, it was his BOQ room mate, an SBS LT, shoes in the closet.

The morning started with, (SBS LT) "I'd appreciate it if you would wash my shoes out this morning."
(LTJG Pilot) "Why?"
(SBS LT) " Cause I caught you using them as a urinallast night when you came home".

 

[phrogpilot73]

I will have a shovel, rake, bucket, and scrub brush ready for your arrival.

There will be a reckoning!!

Pretty sure that the first rain took that tandoori and naan inspired crap down the drain... Not much solid to rake up. Although I guess I should have contacted the EPA, because it was toxic.

I'll cut you a deal - I'll dig a hole and rake, if you hand over the 4 remotes I've purchased and left in the Q for the next guy - only for the rooms to still not have remotes...

 

[scoolbubba]

My room mate during my first cruise did that in the BOQ at SERE school. Although it wasn't a drawer, it was his BOQ room mate, an SBS LT, shoes in the closet.

The morning started with, (SBS LT) "I'd appreciate it if you would wash my shoes out this morning."
(LTJG Pilot) "Why?"
(SBS LT) " Cause I caught you using them as a urinallast night when you came home".

Had a buddy last deployment when we came back from booming in san salvador one night lift the lid of his laptop as though it were a toilet, piss all over it, and then put the seat down just like his mama taught him.

 

[OscarMyers]

Anyone Know the details of the story involving a pointy nose airplane and the filling of a frito lays bag?

 

[Harrier Dude]

Pretty sure that the first rain took that tandoori and naan inspired crap down the drain... Not much solid to rake up. Although I guess I should have contacted the EPA, because it was toxic.

I'll cut you a deal - I'll dig a hole and rake, if you hand over the 4 remotes I've purchased and left in the Q for the next guy - only for the rooms to still not have remotes...

What is this "rain" of which you speak?

All the BOQ rooms now have flat screen TVs with remote controls. Bigger beds are next.

The rooms are still 1960s standards, but it's the small victories that matter at this point. It's a highly polished turd.

If you promise not to shit on my buildings, you may just get a VIP suite. It's like staying in your grandma's guest room.

 

[zippy]

Had a buddy last deployment when we came back from booming in san salvador one night lift the lid of his laptop as though it were a toilet, piss all over it, and then put the seat down just like his mama taught him.

Well, there goes a weeks per diem check.

Dude I went through flight school with- His last deployment in his squadron, augmented another squadron in Kadena from the desert to help them with their mission. 1) Misses a refueling panel door not completely shut on preflight- flys the mission. Door gets ripped off in flight and hits the piece of equipment the bird was carrying on it... pokes a hole in it. Not the end of the world. Shortly after the squadron figures out it's only hazrep worthy and not a mishap 2) gets drunk and goes out on liberty with a dude from the host squadron without signing out. The two separate and he ends up passed out drunk underneath a highway overpass in Japan... police pick him up and bring him to the hospital. Within a day or so of his release he's kicked out of theater, NPLOC for his liberty buddy and the host squadron's members are called in to sign Pg 13s saying they will not use a whole list synthetic drugs.

 

[PropAddict]

1. ADM's son #1 goes on deployment and gets piss drunk at the Q in Kadena. Decides to jump off the second floor balcony. Breaks ankle; hilarity does not ensue. #1 EP, FRS instructor.

2. ADM's son #2 whose hobbies include barking like a dog out of car windows at women as he drives down the street and hooking up with the waitresses at the base golf course restaurant (he no shit had a golf scorecard and tapped it in all of the ones who are obviously under the age of 40), goes to augment VP Awesome in Kadena and within 2 weeks of getting there tells Dadmiral that his new squadron is a million times better than his real squadron and he'd like to stay. Bad juju for both Skippers, turning into asspain for all JO's involved.