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Question about Getting Married in the Navy
- Thread starter anthonysmithii
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patbrown08
Registered User
You can plan the wedding whenever you want. The best thing is to plan on a weekend and shoot for a long one. Then just make sure when you check into your command you tell them early. Let's say for example that you want to get married in July 2004. You go to OCS in OCT and get out in Jan. Then you check into API. You will finish API before your wedding day so there is no reason to worry there. Then you go to Primary in Mar/Apr time frame. When you initially check in make sure to let them know you are planning to get married in July. They will probably give you the business about not being able to gaurantee you very much time. But they will probably not have any problem giving you leave to fly home or where ever for a few days to get hitched. The honeymoon will be a different story. But if you are in P'cola or CC then maybe you can plan for another weekend getaway to the beach or you can promise to make it up to her. Just make sure you aren't falling behind on your studies or knowledge and you shouldn't have any problem. And don't expect them to go easy on you when you get back just because you were off getting married. They will still expect you to be ready to fly as soon as you get back. Just remember the earlier you make people aware of things the easier it will be to work out the details. I have seen a few people get married throughout the pipeline so far with no problems. Hope this helps.
Pat
Pat
DevilDucksGirl
SNA Wife- Advanced Helos
Wow, I found this topic to be quite helpful considering I'm going through some of the same things! If anyone else has anymore info, I would greatly appreciate it! Knowing the best time is hard- so you definitely need to have 2 or 3 options it seems! Anyway, thanks for all the info and good luck to all of you going through this too! 
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
Just a little note for those of you desiring to become married during the initial stages of training.
First of all, I have seen many marrages go down the tubes because of relationship difficulties during training. While your spouse is going through training, you will be alone and may not see your significant other a lot because he/she is studying/training. It's not easy on the spouse that is left behind while the military member is hard at work trying to earn the coveted warfare device.
Secondly, With that said, you are also marrying a MILITARY member that WILL deploy at sometime in his/her career. This is an extremely trying time for any family. Extended deployments (one of my squadron buddies has been gone for almost 10 months now). Make sure you understand that you will be separated from your spouse for some periods of time and this is not always easy.
I have been married for 17 years now and my wife has been very understanding about my military career. Is it hard? HELL YES! For both people, but it does take some sacrifices on both sides (I have lost count of how many B-Day's & Holidays I have missed).
As far as the original question....Make sure you are ready for the commitment of marrage. It's a give and take relationship and it will seem like the military member is sometimes taking more than giving, but he/she is also committed to the service (and the service always has priority [in the military's eyes], but they do try to take care of families).
Finally, It doesn't matter when you get married, just make sure you are getting married for the right reasons!
ea6bflyr
Disclaimer: Do not take anything I said personally...this is just my viewpoint after being in the NAVY for 19 years.
First of all, I have seen many marrages go down the tubes because of relationship difficulties during training. While your spouse is going through training, you will be alone and may not see your significant other a lot because he/she is studying/training. It's not easy on the spouse that is left behind while the military member is hard at work trying to earn the coveted warfare device.
Secondly, With that said, you are also marrying a MILITARY member that WILL deploy at sometime in his/her career. This is an extremely trying time for any family. Extended deployments (one of my squadron buddies has been gone for almost 10 months now). Make sure you understand that you will be separated from your spouse for some periods of time and this is not always easy.
I have been married for 17 years now and my wife has been very understanding about my military career. Is it hard? HELL YES! For both people, but it does take some sacrifices on both sides (I have lost count of how many B-Day's & Holidays I have missed).
As far as the original question....Make sure you are ready for the commitment of marrage. It's a give and take relationship and it will seem like the military member is sometimes taking more than giving, but he/she is also committed to the service (and the service always has priority [in the military's eyes], but they do try to take care of families).
Finally, It doesn't matter when you get married, just make sure you are getting married for the right reasons!
ea6bflyr
Disclaimer: Do not take anything I said personally...this is just my viewpoint after being in the NAVY for 19 years.
DevilDucksGirl
SNA Wife- Advanced Helos
Thanks EA6BFLYR-
We have discussed all of those topics- and I have been 100% supportive of his career. I will not even allow myself to think that I would marry someone and not 100% support them. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, and after growing up in a broken home- I know that is not anything I want for myself or my future children. I head your advice and I take it well, as it is something that I would recommend to anyone thinking about this lifestyle. I do know the sacrifices of marrying into the Navy, and I know that these relationships can fail. Both he and I are very spiritual people and we believe as long as we have the Lord in our lives, that He will provide us the strength and the knowledge to sustain through all of this. There are ways we can see each other on deployments, there ways to stay in communication and this will not last until the day we die. We vow to take each day one day at a time and we vow to always keep each other our #1 priority and to always support each other know matter what happens in life. Now, don't take what I just said wrong- I know the Navy will have presidence over my career and having to move, etc. etc. I know that and I accept that. To me, it is a journey that I welcome and as long as I have my soul mate next to me and we continue to love eachother and support each other we will be fine. Thanks for your words of advice. I know where my heart lies, and at 25 (he at 29) I think we have a pretty good idea what we want!
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
We have discussed all of those topics- and I have been 100% supportive of his career. I will not even allow myself to think that I would marry someone and not 100% support them. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, and after growing up in a broken home- I know that is not anything I want for myself or my future children. I head your advice and I take it well, as it is something that I would recommend to anyone thinking about this lifestyle. I do know the sacrifices of marrying into the Navy, and I know that these relationships can fail. Both he and I are very spiritual people and we believe as long as we have the Lord in our lives, that He will provide us the strength and the knowledge to sustain through all of this. There are ways we can see each other on deployments, there ways to stay in communication and this will not last until the day we die. We vow to take each day one day at a time and we vow to always keep each other our #1 priority and to always support each other know matter what happens in life. Now, don't take what I just said wrong- I know the Navy will have presidence over my career and having to move, etc. etc. I know that and I accept that. To me, it is a journey that I welcome and as long as I have my soul mate next to me and we continue to love eachother and support each other we will be fine. Thanks for your words of advice. I know where my heart lies, and at 25 (he at 29) I think we have a pretty good idea what we want!
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
Well I can't give much help on planning weddings, because my fiance is on a ship, 'over there' and I am in intermediates/advanced in Corpus. What I do know is that all the squadrons here say that if you're getting married, they'll give you one fly day off- so if you get married over a weekend you get Friday or Monday. So Christmas, Thanksgiving, or a 3-day weekend look to be the best bet. BUT, you never know unless you ask- I know of a couple people who were allowed another day or two.
Good luck!
Good luck!
ea6bflyr is right on. Think about what you're getting into before you do it. We got engaged while I was in primary ground school, in November 97. She found several dates close to what we were looking at, and we ended up just picking on, almost a year out, and set it for September 98. It turns out, I checked out of VT-2 the Thursday before the wedding, and managed to get a week of leave before checking in to HTs. But we were both prepared for the Thursday-Sunday deal, so remember there's a good chance of that happening. If you can hold out till the FRS, I would definitely recommend that. Even though that could be 2 years or more away, they're a lot more flexible than flight school.
One more thing -- flight school is hard. Everybody here knows that. Adjusting to married life is also hard. Trying to do both at the same time is close to impossible. That whole "wings before rings" thing may sound coldhearted, but it's not bad advice. Make sure you know exactly what you're getting into before you do it.
One more thing -- flight school is hard. Everybody here knows that. Adjusting to married life is also hard. Trying to do both at the same time is close to impossible. That whole "wings before rings" thing may sound coldhearted, but it's not bad advice. Make sure you know exactly what you're getting into before you do it.
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