OCS quotes

[Killer2]

Sgt.Instructor: "Retarded candidates aren't allowed to stand next to each other, its spreading like SARS."

Corpman: " I don't like guys but keep it up and I will stick it in backwards" (if you don't know trust me you don't wanna)

Right before taps during prayer
Sgt.Instructor: I don't know why you keep brothering God cuz he can't help you now.

Sgt.Instructor: TWOSHEETSANDABLANKETRIGHTNOW UPPP TO SLOW. YOU WANNA PLAY INDIA 2 CUZ WE CAN PLAY,
HELL I WORK FOR PARKER BROS. MAKING UP GAMES ALL DAMN DAY.

 

[nastypilot]

Lege and Williams had the best from mine, with hueyhornet and airwinger.

Lege: As long as im standing, every two seconds a man is gonna die.

Williams: Oooh Connelly, i never seen a body wrap around a pugil stick like that. You looked like a damn concert pianist.

Williams: To Aldrich, a sniper from the first gulf, you sighting in on me Aldrich? I got my eye on you.

Too many to remember right now and alot of them you just had to be there. OCS is by far one of the funniest places on earth. The Sgt Inst. could be professional comedians.

 

[airwinger]

Williams!!! Ah I remember him fondly. Nastypilot you guys in 2nd platoon kept us up late at night. We'd have the lights out trying to sleep and your platoon sgt would be yakking on about "gumby" being a total idiot!!

 

[GTodd]

SI: Have you heard the pop yet /

Candidate: No

SI: It is the sound you make when your head comes out of your head. I just heard this yesterday. Half way done

 

[Raptor2216]

I don't know if anyone remembers SSgt Reels(spelling might be wrong), but I thought he was the funniest SI from out staff. This one time some candidates mom sent us some cookies and candy and when we got around to eating it, he said something like:

"now I want you all to make like the cookiw monster and make it disappear"

I don't think i've ever eaten a cookie faster than that.

This other time, one of the female candidates got caught with food in the barracks and SSgt Osbourse(also from our staff) began to call her by "chavez the chow hall monster". He called her by that in front of the whole CO one day right after chow. Brings back some good memories.

 

[EA-6B1]

Haven't been to OCS, but I heard this one from a Marine friend of mine.
"Your is luck is so bad, if it was raining whores outside you'd get hit by a queer."

 

[GTodd]

"You about an idiot"
"I am about to click off safe"

 

[kaidogg]

This thread contained some frickin hilarious stuff. Any of you 184 returnees have anything to add?

 

[chinamonk]

I graduated LAST YEAR and people STILL talk about the funniest lines TO THIS DAY.

Here’s my favorites from OCC 181 (FALL 02)

Do you need money, is that it? Candidate, I will RENT YOU A CAR so you can GO UA!”

“Who sent you!?”
-Candidate does not understand the question, SI!
“I said, WHO sent you?”
“SI?”
“What foreign government sent you here to pollute my Marine Corps!”

(during inspection)
“Candidate X, University of X, Air contract!”
“Candidate, what’s wrong with you? Air contract? Don’t you want to feel what it’s like to pull a man’s heart out of his chest while it’s still beating?”

“You candidates are running around looking like a bunch of monkeys trying to f$#@! A football!”

(After some in-house drill)- “PAIN, boys, PAIN is on the way. That’s just one of my games, and I’ve got a whole bag of them.”

“You’re just another form of terrorism!”

“You’re looking as nasty as a fartsack full of doorknobs!

(During inspection)
“NASTY, candidate, NASTY! Double Nasty! Scribe, write that down twice, NASTY!”

(During battalion CO’s inspection)
“Candidate X, University of X, Air Contract!”
CO (with a voice of disbelief) “Is that an accredited institution??” (Walks off to next candidate)
-So happens that the CO attended the same school as the candidate and was just messing with him

“Boys, if we were at Paris Island, I’d make it my mission that every spare moment you have is getting thrashed in the pit. Between classes, throw you in the pit. Before chow, throw you in the pit. After chow, throw you in the pit. Not for any particular reason, but just because, it’s what you do when you’re at PI, you throw ‘em in the pit!”

 

[USMCAIRCANDIDATE]

Sgt. Inst. Gunnery Sgt. White:

There are three things I love in life. I like to drink a lot of beer, I like to ride my motorcycle a 100mph down I-95, and I like to blow away deer from 5 feet away with my 300 Weatherby, but I can't do that because of you!

 

[SemperFitz]

There was a time a few weeks in that our platoon bonded (so we thought) with SI GySgt. Williams. His method for something in drill was to call the command and then in his head say "breathe...bitch...breathe." then call the second part of his command. He told us this.

That night after lights out, the entire platoon from our racks shouted "Breathe...bitch...breathe." For future OCS attendees. Never, ever, ever do this. We hadn't bonded at all, I don't have any clue what we were thinking.

Others:
"oh, is that right? Candidates just wanna move slow and act stupid?"

"See 'dem train tracks? One runs north, one runs south. I don't care which one you get on, but you need to go away. I don't care if you just go lay down on 'em!"

"I refuse to serve in the same Marine Corps as you...that means one of us gotta leave...and it ain't me."

"You need to go away...just get on the silver freedom bird and fly away."

man, there are so many more. OCS is cheaper and way more entertaining than watching comedy central

 

[SLU_fly_girl]

For our field day shirts, my platoon (India 1, 2003) made a list of the Top 10 Daggone Things Heard at OCS

10. Hey there yoohoo! (one of my favs)

9. Nope, get back...Nope, get back....Nope, get back

8. If you're walking (or anything else we did), you're wrong!

7. 5,4,3,2,1........you're done!

6. You're butt crack nasty.

5. If you're thirsty, you better suck on some spit cuz we're not stopping.

4. You've got half a heartbeat to freakin fix yourselves. (one of my favs)

3. Shut your sucks.

2. Oh, WE CAN PLAY GAMES!...... get 2 sheets and a blanket and get on line.

1. Go back and try that again.

one from 2nd platoon PS: "You're infecting my platoon like SARS"

oh the memories from OCS....and to think, I get to do it again this summer!

 

[F18Navig8tor]

Frog Fly were you in 4th platoon, first increment last summer for PLC seniors?
USMCAIRCANDIDATE were you in 4th platoon, second increment for PLC juniors?

I was in both of those, just wondering your stories/sayings sound very familiar.

"I am going to punch your OSO"

 

[FrogFly]

Yep, PLC Srs '03, 1st Increment.

 

[F18Navig8tor]

4th Platoon? Frog Fly