OCS quotes

[Cavt]

couple great stories from my Jrs time.

"in the first couple weeks of Jrs a candidate goes into laundry right after reville to grab a blouse he had put into the dryer the night before...running ragged he just reaches in and grabs a blouse throws it on and runs out the door to form up. Our guide was walking around the platoon checking things out, walks past this kid and his eyes almost pop out his head. Turns out this guy had grabbed a blouse of one of our instructors. There he is standing there in formation with a blouse with US MARINES and our SI name on it. We march all the way to chow and back. As we are getting close to the squad bay the instructor asks if anyone has a problem...a lowly voice comes up from the middle of the formation "SI, this candidate has a problem" Needless to say the SI knew what had happened (they miss nothing) and was waiting to make him pay for it. "OH NO THAT BETTER NOT BE MY BLOUSE, THATS OK I GOTTA BURN IT NOW, BUT ILL GET THE DOLLAR VALUE OUTTA YOUR BODY. That poor guy spent that weeks hump running up and down the platoon figuring out how many full, empty, half full canteens there were. "DID YOU SEE EACH CANTEEN? NO WELL GO COUNT AGAIN"

 

[Cavt]

"cluster **** To The Leeeeft...march"

 

[PSno23]

"Imagine that!" and "Ask me...do I care?" come to mind. Anyone from Charlie Co. last summer will know that. Also, I remember one this one time, I was a squad leader, so of course, I had to wear the sergeant's insignia with the red felt. Well, after a hump, I had lost one of the insignia. One of the platoon sergeants asked me about it during chow and I told him what had happened. So he said, "Well, since you are half of a squad leader, you are gonna write me half of an essay. That's right. 150 words. On "the importance of wearing rank insignia while in a billet at Officer Candidate School." Maybe I was too tired from the hump, but looking back, I don't know how I didn't stop from cracking up laughing.

 

[GTodd]

I agree from the past few posts, I will tell my freinds a story that I thought was funny and they just stare, I guess its only funny to those who are going and went because you are so stresed for so long, the second they let up for a second it seems to be the funniest thing you ever heard.

ANy way back to quotes the first week on libo I was so happy to be free that I said hi to every Marine I saw, and each reply I got was KILL Candidate, freekin' motivating!! Everyone will know that you are a candiddate, kinda cool, makes you feel proud.

 

[FrogFly]

one time i had a billet and came in while Gysgt Beal had the squad bay thrashed and everyone was at the far end of the squad bay with all the mattresess in a pile. Gunny B. at the other end of the squad bay would yell, "sleep!" Then all the candidates would fall on the mattresses and on top of each other and try not to move and act asleep. As soon as one would move, "oh, we're not tired any more.... very well... revellie, revellie, revellie!!" All the candidates would jump to attention. This went on. "Getonline. Getoutofmysquadbay! Sleep! Rev. Rev. Rev." The funny part I though was the fact that all the candidates were just laughing underneath their breaths when ever he would yell sleep. 40 something candidates would just fall limp and try and get some shut eye. Hey, every bit counts.

Yep, we were on the same company billet cycle then. Hey, remember just walking around during that time and seeing the whole company thrashed? The staff reserved a good 30-45 minutes for hazing that afternoon. I guess that was probably the only good thing that came out of that billet cycle for us. Don't you think?

 

[semperfi1812]

echo two rules man....

Yeah, I guess there was one good thing that came out of it. I always felt left out like, man, they are really gettin it this time. Why can't we play those cool of games when I am in there? It was like they didn't like me and only played the cool games when I wasn't around. So sometimes we would have to cut the planning short so I could go cut in on there fun. Heh heh.

Sgt Ints says... "And you wanna lead me?!?"

 

[PSno23]

From one of my sergeant instructors: "And you wanna be a Marine Corps Officer? Kinda funny how I have a say in that, isn't it?"

 

[TNWhiskey]

Here's a couple from OCC-185...

GySgt: Sound off, candidate
Cand: Aye aye, Gunnery Sgt
GySgt: Why are you whispering to me? I bet if I threw you out of that window you'd sound off.

Similiarly.

Gysgt: Keep whispering to me candidate. Are you trying to ask me out on a date or something?


Finally the funniest crap ever happened when a candidate struck back...on fire watch.

GySgt: Candidate, do I hear voices out here (on firewatch, after taps)
Candidate: No, Gunnery Sgt.
GySgt: Oh I see...must be me...the voices in my head...or better yet ghosts--it was the ghosts right candidate?
Candidate: GySgt, this candidate does not believe in ghosts.

The whole friggin' squad bay erupted...and the GySgt was about to piss his pants so he ran into the duty hut and slammed the door.

Now for you guys going to OCS...the last one happened in about week 7 or 8...Don't think you're going to get away with being a smart ass early on...By the end you get a bit more lee way....You'll see how it works.

 

[Sabre170]

Broken Bodies get in the Class Room

This happened at recruite training, but I think it will fit in.

DI: All Broken bodies get in the classroom (area in the squadbay infront of the duty hut)

Several recruits go up. The day before we picked up Recruit Hernandez after he was dropped a week for rifle qual.

As the DI asks what is wrong with the recruits they complain of hurt this or that. Finally:

DI: Hernandez whats wrong with you?
Hernandez: Sir, this recruit is broke.
DI: What the #$%^& is wrong with you?
Hernandez: Sir, this recruit is broke. This recruit used his last chit at the recruit exchange today.

We all busted up laughing as the the DI covered his face and had to walk away.

After typing this, I see that it is one of those you had to be there moments.

 

[semperfi1812]

In boot camp, we had a very tall recruit and a pretty short one. The d.i's would always get them to stand next to each other while we were all in formation, and then they would have them reinact the old milk commercials.
The tall one would look down and say, "if you keep drinking milk, you can grow up and be tall like me..."

Funniest crap ever. Then, when we would all lose our bearing and get smoked.

Another kid in our series, the Di's figured he looked like Homer Simpson. They would always be like, "Recruit, what's your name." He would reply with his real name. "Are you sure that's your name recruit?" "No Sir, It's Recruit Simpson." "Where are you from recruit?" "Springfield, Sir!" They would go on with that. "Say it candidate...." "Doooh!" Everyone laughs.

I think Drill Instructors must have a secret school for thinking of the funniest sh!& to say and do to make recruits and candidates lose their bearing. Officers just don't have that Ive noticed. Probably not their place to either.

 

[Sabre170]

Semper Fi,

Did you go to OCS with a Daryl Hurst? He was 6'8" tall. He and I were in Boot Camp together, and after three years he was selected for ECP. At boot Camp we had a black DI who was 5'3". At Graduation, I sister said he looked like the TV kid Webster. It was funny for DI Sgt Thomas to yell at Hurst am to tell him "Look at me when I am yelling at you!" Hurst would just look down and try not to smile.

 

[DocT]

For 1st Increment 04...lets bring it back.

After a Candidate's voice breaks while sounding off: SI: "Well Hello Skittles, how many colors are in your rainbow?"

A naked Candidate is sounding off in the squad bay: SI: "Don't frickin' talk to me with your turkey guts hangin' out!"

A Candidate just f-ed up drill the night before final drill comp. : "I'm going to snap this flagpole off and beat you with it you frickin' nasty."

During inspection: SI: "Turn your friggin' head, your breath is buttcrack nasty! It smells like there's a little man dancing on your tongue and he has sh1t on his shoes!"

Before the trip to see the silent drill team a Candidate asked where we were going: SI: "I don't frickin' know. They just told me to get dressed and take you hoes out there."

 

[skidkid]

There was this funny funny file someone sent me on the boat that I cant find now it was an essay written by an army recruit for failing ot bring his poncho to chow it was the funniest thing Ive ever read. I treid to find it on google no joy. He describes additional uses for the poncho like kevorkian parachute and others I cant remember and ends it with lyrics to "Macho macho man" substituting poncho and talking about staying out of the rain if any of you more tech savy guys can find it is worth a read.

 

[skidkid]

nice work this should be required reading for anyone who got an essay at TBS. This guy is too witty to be in the Army we need him.

 

[FrogFly]

Holy geeez, lookey what we got here. That was the funniest damn thing I've read in a decade. If I would have had the b@lls, I would have voluntarily handed that essay in to my Platoon Sgt when I went through OCS. That freakin' guy should be President! Good God, I haven't laughed like that in forever.

BTW, do they actually assign essays in TBS, like they do at OCS? Damnit!