Hi, my name is Erin and my fiance is going to start OCS after we get married in a few weeks. I haven't decided if I want to move with him when he goes to flight school or not....just wondering if you ever get to see your husbands during that time or if they are reallly busy with studying. Thanks in advance...
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new wife question
- Thread starter erin
- Start date
I had plenty of time off, and appreciated having my wife there at home (in my bed with me) every night. Most of my friends would agree...
Another husband opinion here ... but things would have been harder without my wife. She kept most things on the home front pointed in the right direction while I poured myself into training. Plus I really like having her around 
You should get into the Private Spouses Corner to get more wife opinions. I'm sure Kathy would be more than willing to help you with that if any issues arise. Good luck
You should get into the Private Spouses Corner to get more wife opinions. I'm sure Kathy would be more than willing to help you with that if any issues arise. Good luck
navrn
Hellooooo nurse!
Flight school definately requires a lot of work and understanding. While there can be lots of downtime, when the press comes there will be days all you get is a good nights sleep together. He'll need you to be patient and supportive. I think, it will mean a lot to the both of you if you're together. But this is IMHO.
Mind you, I only encourage living together if you're ready for it... but if you're married, it might make you both feel better to be with your spouse. Separation is a hard toll on a relationship, take it from me.
Mind you, I only encourage living together if you're ready for it... but if you're married, it might make you both feel better to be with your spouse. Separation is a hard toll on a relationship, take it from me.
Holly85
New Member
Hey, I definitely agree with joining the private spouse's forum. My husband is almost done with flight school, and I can say that he was very busy, but he also had down time (weekends and the very occasional day off, and just the fact that he was home at night). We got married 2 days before we moved down to FL for flight school. I have enjoyed being here and being able to support him help him when I could. I have made flash cards for emergency procedures, cut out strip charts, and called out many, many, many questions for tests.
In the end, it is what ever works best for the two and you and whatever you decide that you want to do. Good luck with everything!
In the end, it is what ever works best for the two and you and whatever you decide that you want to do. Good luck with everything!
Welcome Erin. The spouses corner is a great place to get some information.
The rest of the forum...be warned and go there with a thick skin, as some winged folks can be bit blunt.
My wife and I will be married 15 years next week. She's been with me through 3 deployments and a year unaccompanied IA tour, so it can work well.
Be flexible...wait that's too fixed...be fluid.
Also, be part of his flight school team, it will make it all worth while...good luck.
The rest of the forum...be warned and go there with a thick skin, as some winged folks can be bit blunt.
My wife and I will be married 15 years next week. She's been with me through 3 deployments and a year unaccompanied IA tour, so it can work well.
Be flexible...wait that's too fixed...be fluid.
Also, be part of his flight school team, it will make it all worth while...good luck.
devil_dog_wife
Proud wife and mama!
Plus I really like having her around
You only said that because you knew I would read it!
Erin, IMO you should move with your husband. Being by his side, and supporting him will help him tremendously. Just like navrn said, you will have to be patient with him being so busy and the unruly schedule, and there will be many nights when he is home but busy studying. Plus, if you are there with him you can help him study, many of the women on here can attest to having the Emergency Procedures for the T-34 memorized!
Send a PM to Kathy or Crysmc and they can get you into the Private Spouses Corner and you can ask more questions to the wives and husband.
Good Luck!
I definitely would reccomend moving with him. I am about 1/3 through advanced, and I know I wouldn't be having near as much fun without my wife. She is good at bouncing EP's off of, making me study, and she occasionally cooks for the guys. One suggestion would be to hold off on the kids until you are at your permanent duty station. I had my son when i was in IFS and my daughter about a month ago in advanced, and I have had to make my wife shoulder much of the responsibility just so I could get some sleep. That wasn't fair to her, but it was a reality of flight school.
PM if you want her e-mail for some more spouse perspectives...
PM if you want her e-mail for some more spouse perspectives...
Yes I am glad your wife was there in bed with you....otherwise you would have bitched more
I married my wife 9 days after commissioning. There was no way she was going to live somewhere other than with me. It's been great. I highly recommend co-location, although I probably would have studied more were she not living with me.
On the other hand (and this is a pure hypothetical, since I haven't lived it), if she had stayed in MD when I went to API and Primary and (now) Advanced: we would probably be better off financially. I could have made bank on the BAH by living in a snake ranch with some buds, she could have kept her teaching job and made roughly 2.54 times (not that I've calculated it or anything) as much cash as she has made working in jobs in P'Cola and Corpus. Living off a single 0-1 income can be done, but with a car loan (her, not me), and student loans, and credit cards (yes, all hers), it's stretched mighty thin.
On the other hand (and this is a pure hypothetical, since I haven't lived it), if she had stayed in MD when I went to API and Primary and (now) Advanced: we would probably be better off financially. I could have made bank on the BAH by living in a snake ranch with some buds, she could have kept her teaching job and made roughly 2.54 times (not that I've calculated it or anything) as much cash as she has made working in jobs in P'Cola and Corpus. Living off a single 0-1 income can be done, but with a car loan (her, not me), and student loans, and credit cards (yes, all hers), it's stretched mighty thin.
I moved to be with my husband when he started Primary. I think it was a good decision.
You can make things easier on your husband by taking care of some things for him at home (I personally enjoyed knowing that it was nicer for him to come home with me living there because there was someone outside the military world to talk to, the house was clean, he didn't have to worry about getting groceries, the laundry was taken care of... all these little things that make a difference!)
You can also help your husband study if he needs someone to help him verify he has his procedures memorized.
Your hubby will be busy studying, so you just have to make sure you're understanding. I have a pretty demanding full-time job so we were both busy and I didn't really feel neglected.
Also, think about it this way: yes, he will be busy but you get to see him everyday. It will be far less stressful for him to be able to talk to you even while getting dressed or over a meal, rather than having to dedicate time to a daily phone call if you lived far away. And it isn't bad all the time. My hubby had some times when he was studying non-stop, and other times when he had time to kick back and hang out.
Finally, I can't speak for every pipeline and every situation, but I've found that my hubby's been pretty busy not just through Primary and Advanced. The RAG was pretty demanding of his time, as is the Fleet. I think moving to be with him early (especially if you're married) is a good way to be fully part of his military career, understand everything he's going through, and get used to what flight school is all about.
You can make things easier on your husband by taking care of some things for him at home (I personally enjoyed knowing that it was nicer for him to come home with me living there because there was someone outside the military world to talk to, the house was clean, he didn't have to worry about getting groceries, the laundry was taken care of... all these little things that make a difference!)
You can also help your husband study if he needs someone to help him verify he has his procedures memorized.
Your hubby will be busy studying, so you just have to make sure you're understanding. I have a pretty demanding full-time job so we were both busy and I didn't really feel neglected.
Also, think about it this way: yes, he will be busy but you get to see him everyday. It will be far less stressful for him to be able to talk to you even while getting dressed or over a meal, rather than having to dedicate time to a daily phone call if you lived far away. And it isn't bad all the time. My hubby had some times when he was studying non-stop, and other times when he had time to kick back and hang out.
Finally, I can't speak for every pipeline and every situation, but I've found that my hubby's been pretty busy not just through Primary and Advanced. The RAG was pretty demanding of his time, as is the Fleet. I think moving to be with him early (especially if you're married) is a good way to be fully part of his military career, understand everything he's going through, and get used to what flight school is all about.