Sna - Swo - Snfo - Nfo
I had a somewhat similar experience... I punched out of the SNA program during primary in anticipation of being attrited. Just recognized it wasn't in the cards and decided I didn't want to go through a bunch more boards being called a dirtbag. I was a dirtbag, btw; didn't have the discipline or the airmanship chops. Anyway, I digress. Went SWO, as this was back in the day when that was more or less automatic, did a tour on a frigate out of San Diego. Wasn't too long before I realized that, while I like being in the Navy, there was no way in hell I wanted the pain of Sworrior life. So I started looking into coming back to the light.
Here was my experience:
1. Success depends mostly on how badly they need pilots or NFOs when you apply. Crappy, but true.
2. For fallen angels, you can't get back in as a pilot if you've DORed or attrited (at least by the regs - anything's waiverable), but you can apply to come back as an NFO. No formal waiver process, just acknowledge in your application that you are applying for readmission. The language is in the MILPERSMAN.
3. Millington won't even talk to you until you have your SWO pin. Getting it as fast as possible (I got mine in 13 months) shows you're a hard-charger.
4. CO endorsement is a big factor, but a good fitrep trumps a subsequent wishy-washy endorsement. The aviation detailers can see through a buzzkill captain. Fortunately, my captain was pretty good about it.
5. You don't necessarily have to talk to your dept head or XO about it. There's no requirement for their endorsement. It depends on your XO and dept head - my dept head was a great guy, so I talked to him about it a lot. XO was a bunghole, so I kinda skipped him.
6. Doing some civilian flight training is a good thing. I did a few flights through the North Island Aero Club. Shows you're serious and you know what the aviation environment is like, and in my case, that I'd gotten over my flying jitters. However, getting your license isn't necessary.
7. Have a back-up plan. I was penciled in for orders to a destroyer in Mayport. But DON'T wait until you're up for orders before dropping your package. If you take ship orders and your package is subsequently accepted, you're stuck with your new ship for at least a year.
8. Bug the hell out of Millington once you send in your package. Otherwise it'll get buried on some O-4's desk. There's no board - the head of aviation detailing just looks through your package and says yay or nay, and if he gives the thumbs-up, it's just a matter of how soon you can seperate from the ship and be on your way to Sunny Pensacola.
I got the nod in July, was off the ship in September (gonged over the side on Sept 10, 2001... I was on the road and didn't listen to the radio all the next day; didn't know anything had happened until I stopped for the night around midnight), started Primary in October.
It can be done... just gotta show you're serious about it...