You have too narrow a view and too big of an ego. It's a team effort for the pilot/NFO to fly the plane. I doubt that any pilot of a tactical jet requiring a NFO thinks the NFO is not "flying" the plane.
I still haven't heard a "pilot of a tactical jet requiring an NFO" comment on this.
Trust me, with some of the flying I've done, I'm doing more of it than the nugget pilot. I know some may quibble with semantics and terminology, but I don't ride in my jet, I fly it.
And I don't have "NFO issues" in fact I could really care less but the thread was started by a kid who is trying to make a decision on career paths and I think it is in his best interest to know that being an NFO can create an identity crisis of sorts.