cj62,
Your son is where I was in 1997. I had walked into the recruiter's office saying that "I want to join the Navy." When asked what I wanted to do, I replied "What is the best you have?" I bought the recruiter's line about how the "best of the best" go into the nuke program. After hearing all of the promises about accelerated advancement and financial bonuses, I was sold. I did not have a strong math and physics background in high school, and I also only passed the test by a few points. Still, I was in and reported to Nuke School in September of 1996 back when it was still in Orlando. The gate guard was a former student who had flunked out and he knew we were fresh from boot camp. His "welcome to hell" as he checked each of our ID's was not exactly what we were expecting to hear, but was the most accurate thing I heard while I was on that base.
I was slated to go through MM "A" school first and did pretty well for the most part. All of my grades were around average, except for the 2nd Math test and the "Mechanical Equipment" final which was basically a thermodynamics primer. Still, I passed and went on to Power School. That is when things got really bad. I will tell you that the claims by some of my partners here that the only people who fail out are those that really aren't trying, are bullshit. Also the claim that anyone who get is in "has what it takes" to graduate is also bullshit. That program has a historic failure rate well over 60%. If everyone who shows up there really has what it takes to complete the course, then they must have the worst set of evaluation standards of any school in the world.
My grades were so bad that I didn't even get an academic review board at week 5. I was what was called an "auto-drop" and that was just fine by me. In spite of studying more than 50 hours a week AFTER class, I just could not keep up with the pace of the coursework. (I've since proven that I'm not stupid, being an Academic All-Big XII football player at Texas, and current Naval Officer, Aviator, and Aircraft Commander).
I know exactly how your son feels right now, and he is NOT stupid. He is being told now that if he fails out that he will spend the rest of his career chipping paint and cleaning bathrooms. That is not the case. Failing out of Nuke school does not mean that you are stupid or lazy, it means that you don't have the personality to be a nuke. 95% of the Navy views that as a GOOD THING!! Your son is a talented young man or he would not have gotten into Nuke School. Not completing that course is not the end of the world, his career, or his chances of success in the Navy.
After I flunked out, I went to submarine school in Groton, CT to be a conventional Machinist Mate. There, I took the SAT and the math that I had learned while in the process of flunking out of Nuke School enabled me to log a very impressive score on that exam. Before I knew it, I had letters of interest from the ROTC program, Naval Academy, BOOST and NAPS all in my mail box and I was filling out applications to officer programs like it was my full time job. I was fortunate to have another "nuke waste" officer take me under his wing and after I was accepted into the ROTC program at Texas, it was my full time job to help other sailors apply for officer programs. In just 7 months, I helped more than ten other nuke school "failures" get accepted into officer programs and they all picked up full scholarships.
If you or your son would like to talk with me about my experiences there, just send me a PM with phone numbers and I will will reach out to you or them.
My "drop sheet" from nuke school is in the same frame as my officer's commissioning documents. I keep it like that to show that one failure does not mean that you quit, or that others will quit on you. Sometimes a "failure" is just a fork in the road and you end up going down a much better path. My life is 1000X better now than it ever would have been if I had passed that school.
OBTW, my mom was just like you. She chewed the recruiter out for putting me into something that was such a poor fit for me just because he had a quota. Looking back, I don't blame him. She was also a high school teacher and always welcomed Navy Recruiters to talk in her class, on the condition that they were not allowed to mention the Nuclear Power Program at Louise High School. I do, however, blame the officers at Navy Recruiting Command who do such a poor job of allowing recruiters to explain what jobs in the Navy are like and what will be expected of them. The end result is a lot of trouble from struggling kids who are trying to do their best in positions that don't suit them. Many get bitter about the Navy and leave as soon as they can. Don't let him get bitter, encourage him to get BETTER. There is someone out there or at his next duty station that will help him as long as he is willing to help himself.