I wasn't sure I was missing some sort of training event (a la USAF-style school based on org. leadership, like SOS or ACSC ) that would open/close doors. I'm still totally uninitiated, and in the back of my mind, I'm hoping there's a career path that can slow the inevitable slide into higher leadership by focusing on how to make your flyers a more lethal bunch.
What does is mean to be a great JO, whether that be deployed or at home station? I'd imagine JO queep is largely scrutinized but low-impact, and flying takes precedence - how soon can one start displaying the qualities of an instructor (is that an IEWO? EWOI? IWO?)?
Is it at all realistic to place VAQ-209 as a 6-or-12 year 'ending' to active duty? How does their way of doing things differ from the AD squadrons, badass patch aside? Is someone who goes graduates HAVOC too much of an asset to the Navy to be allowed to then proceed directly into the Reserve?
Like Pags said, nothing like that exists on the USN side. If you decide to work towards command, then you will eventually do something like ACSC via completing your Joint Professional Military Education (JPME) 1 course requirement, but it's just a check in the block, and not something that will "open/close doors."
There also isn't really a "career path that can slow the slide into higher leadership." As Brett said, you can certainly pursue a more tactically focused route by going to weapons school and becoming a training officer (which allows you to remain in the cockpit through the end of your DH tour), but it doesn't delay your progression towards command.
As Brett mentioned, there will definitely be competition for a spot in 209. Having a weapons school patch will certainly help. Aside from the competitive aspect of getting a spot, there is no reason the Navy wouldn't let a HAVOC graduate go into the reserves provided you've completed your training officer tour (around your eight year point post-wings).
Boat versus exped is really a question of personal preference. You'll be able to rank your choices coming out of VAQ-129, but the Navy makes the final call. You'll have a great experience either way.
To your "displaying the qualities of an instructor" question: if you're a top performer in your first squadron and get your mission commander (Growler Weapons and Tactics Program Level 3 designation) on the early side, then you may have the chance to be designated as a Level 3 instructor and to instruct the events for other JOs in the squadron. That being said, you'll get the meat of your instructor experience during your shore tour. Your first fleet tour is largely dedicated to getting qualified in the jet and doing well at your ground job.
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