Should I move to Pensacola with my husband while he is in OCS? API? Will my daughter and I be more of a distraction than a help? I know it is going to be tough, and I want to do all that I can to help him. Please give me your advice. Any other suggestions as to how I can help him or myself would also be appreciated.
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Go to Navy OCS with husband?
- Thread starter RobNLa
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If you move while he is at OCS it will be on your dime and you will not see him for four weeks after he starts anyway. After four weeks his class "MAY" get liberty on the weekends but he will still have to do the occaisional weekend duty. In short he will be too busy to see you and you will be a distraction.
I am a father of two with one more on the way and for me it is best if I have as little communication with them as possible because the more I do talk to my family the more I miss them and I end up feeling down and depressed, something that you don't want to cause him to do at OCS.
I am a father of two with one more on the way and for me it is best if I have as little communication with them as possible because the more I do talk to my family the more I miss them and I end up feeling down and depressed, something that you don't want to cause him to do at OCS.
I don't know about Navy OCS, but I would venture to say that Marine OCS is every bit as challenging; and I would have killed to be able to see my wife when we got liberty. Even if it was only a short time, it still would have been nice. So... if you don't mind moving on your dime, I'd say go ahead. Your main problem will be that you're not going to be elgible for BAH.
Hope this helps. Semper Fi
When you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Hope this helps. Semper Fi
When you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
TNKosavanna
Registered User
I'm not sure if this is correct or not, but according to the Navy OCS publicaton and the official Navy OCS website, "if you are married and/or have children, the Navy will add a tax-free BAH to your basic pay"(during OCS, regardless of location). You can find it in Frequently Asked Questions under pay and benefits. The way I understand it, if your family lives in Pensacola you get BAH but not a family separation allowance. I totally agree with jdfairman, though
DevilDucksGirl
SNA Wife- Advanced Helos
It really depends on your situation- if you think you will support him- then go for it! But, realize there will be a long time that you will not talk to him or see him until he does secure. I was battling this myself in February when my then fiance went to OCS- but we took it a day at a time and I stayed back home- in Ohio. Throughout OCS he and I realized that we are not much use to eachother unless we are together, and I have always supported his career 100%- and now as a Naval wife and now living in P'cola while he finishes up API- I know the move was well worth the cost. These guys are right- you will have to pay the cost to move here- and if he does go outside of P'cola for Primary then you have to move again. I myself, am facing moving to Corpus Christi Texas this Friday, but I would NOT have changed a thing. I think moving down here to be with him was the best thing I could ever have done. Luckily, I have an extensive aviation background and I was able to help him study through API- and that to him, was a huge help. But, even if you don't have that knowledge, it is still easy to help him study and ask him definition questions, etc.
I guess I strongly strongly disagree with the people that say that 'out of sight- out of mind' thing is best. We both believe that a marriage is a partnership and I know that I was not as good and neither was he when we were seperated. But OCS is hard- but after the first few weeks you'll be amazed at how much more time you have to talk to him. I think communication is key- writing to him daily will be the biggest motivation through OCS. You can't send him packages- but letters are ALWAYS welcome by the Officer candidates.
My now husband thanks me to this day that I wrote him as frequently as I did!!
If you decide to not move down for OCS- I would recommend saving up for his graduation or his DO (Dine Out). That was my motivation too. While I worked, I always set aside money here and there that way I could make it to those functions. I guess I have a lot to say about this subject, since I did a little of both. At first I stayed behind, but then I moved. I will PM you with a little more details- but feel free to PM me with any questions you have! I won't be around for a week or two- because we are moving, but I will be glad to answer any questions you may have! Good luck on your decision
. For me it wasn't easy to go back home- but I knew that it was best for us at the time. I guess you just have to decide as a family what is best for all of you! Best of luck!
Heather
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
I guess I strongly strongly disagree with the people that say that 'out of sight- out of mind' thing is best. We both believe that a marriage is a partnership and I know that I was not as good and neither was he when we were seperated. But OCS is hard- but after the first few weeks you'll be amazed at how much more time you have to talk to him. I think communication is key- writing to him daily will be the biggest motivation through OCS. You can't send him packages- but letters are ALWAYS welcome by the Officer candidates.
If you decide to not move down for OCS- I would recommend saving up for his graduation or his DO (Dine Out). That was my motivation too. While I worked, I always set aside money here and there that way I could make it to those functions. I guess I have a lot to say about this subject, since I did a little of both. At first I stayed behind, but then I moved. I will PM you with a little more details- but feel free to PM me with any questions you have! I won't be around for a week or two- because we are moving, but I will be glad to answer any questions you may have! Good luck on your decision
Heather
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
My husband just finished OCS and we did all move down here to Pcola together. We have a toddler and then had a baby on the way...he was born while JP was at OCS. He would not have traded us being down here for anything. And I wanted the kids to be able to see their daddy when he was free. The first 4 weeks are hard without them having liberty, but you can visit on Sunday mornings for a couple of hours. And when he did get liberty, he was so glad to be able to come home, see us, and sleep in his own bed. I don't know that you can be a distraction, since you can't just call him up or go see him at work. Just support him and realize that he might be tired, might not get liberty, or might have watch. With your support you can be a great help to him. We were glad we came together to see each other when we could.
DevilDucksGirl
SNA Wife- Advanced Helos
I guess I just wanted to re-stress that I am VERY VERY happy I moved down here- I hope I didn't seem negative above- just giving you all options!!! I agree w/ Jenni! It is well worth being here- I wish I could've been here during OCS! Good luck again!!!
Heather
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
Heather
Supporting my Ducky in the Navy
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