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Funny UA stories

ZoomByU

Woo Woo
Anyone have an funny stories of candidates attempting to go UA? I was reading some pretty funny ones on marineocs.com and was wondering if anyone else had some good ones.
 

Bevo16

Registered User
pilot
There was a guy in my boot camp division that went UA about half way through. They found his jacket on top of the fence, and but never heard anything else from him. A couple of days before graduation, he came up to our RDC in front of the galley to talk to him. He Hobo'd from Great Lakes back to Delaware. He stayed with his mom for a couple of weeks and then walked back to his recruiter's office with a hell of a story. After spending a couple of days in a brig, they sent him back to Great Lakes to be processed out.
 

feddoc

Really old guy
Contributor
One of my young enlisted lads, a good kid, was late for muster one morning. Chief took care of it.....later I had him in my office on another matter and happened to ask him what happened.

He said 'Sir, my girlfriend wanted to (have early morning sex) and I thought I should be there'.

Kinda hard not to smile at his ingenuity.
 

luscombepilot

Airport Bum
We had 2 go UA in my platoon: our platoon commander was a washed up helicopter pilot and he took it out on the candidates. anyway one guy decided he was going to dor and the weekend before he could dor he got on a bus back to his home city. he called at 6 am the next morning and told the corporal of the guard that he was on a bus 4 states away and "wasn't coming back" It was funny becuase the corporal of the guard quoted it that way in the log book: good stuff
 

esday1

He'll dazzle you with terms like "Code Red."
Not an eyewitness to either of these, but can confirm them:

The summer I was at OCS ('04) one of the 6-week candidates (I'm assuming one of the juniors) tried to go UA at the start of 1st increment by swimming away from OCS. I'm not sure whether he thought he was going to swim to Maryland or just get outside the limits of the base on the Virginia side, but he wound up landing a few hundred hards away from where he started, getting hauled in front of the Colonel and leaving OCS a short time later anyway after out-processing. This one has almost taken on the status of an urban legend, although I know it's accurate since the Col. told the same story both at PLC-combined pick-up and at family day.

Same summer, while 2nd increment was in-processing, 3 guys on watch from my company (COG taking 2 sentries either to or from the parking lot) see a cab pull onto the parade deck right in front of the barracks. Two candidates in civvies sprint out and get in, then the cab hauls ass out of there.
 

DocT

Dean of Students
pilot
I was there for juniors when the candidate tried to swim for it. He was a west coast candidate (they often arrive the night before in-processing because of travel time). It was actually the night he arrived. We were told about during in-processing the next day. The way I heard it was he was picked up by HMX 1 security about 200 meters past Bobo Hall. Idiot. The Potomac has got to be at 3/4 of a mile across there at least.

Another from last summer was a female junior candidate who jumped a slow moving freight train right there at Brown Field and was apprehended in Richmond looking rather suspicious wearing a full set of cammies in the railyard. This was told to us by our platoon staff after it happened, but I can't be sure of it's validity. Some candidate supposedly picked up a news paper on libo and there was a blurb about her facing charges of some sort. However, I never saw this paper.
 

esday1

He'll dazzle you with terms like "Code Red."
DocT said:
The way I heard it was he was picked up by HMX 1 security about 200 meters past Bobo Hall. Idiot. The Potomac has got to be at 3/4 of a mile across there at least.

Just about 2 miles, according to Google Earth. Just to keep the urban legend/rampant speculation going, I heard one version of the story (although this part was totally unconfirmed rumor and probably not true) that he had tried to build up a little bit of flotation by inflating little ziploc bags and stuffing them in his clothes. Whether or not that's true, his idea might have been more to stay toward shore and drift/ swim downstream off base. However, as anyone way too smart to attempt this sort of stunt might have figured out or guessed, the Potomac at Quantico is tidal, which means that at the right time of day the current will be headed upstream, which would explain why HMX 1 security picked him up (at the airfield, I'm guessing?).
 

DocT

Dean of Students
pilot
I've heard trash bags, ziplock bags, etc. Who knows what's true at this point. We need somebody from India 1st Incr. '04 to weigh in here and help us out with our speculation.

I've always wondered what was in Maryland on the other side of the Potomac while I crested the damn bridge on the way to morning chow. I always pictured some great cottage with somebody reading a newspaper, drinking a big cup of coffee.
 

ArkhamAsylum

500+ Posts
pilot
I heard of a couple dudes trying to escape boot camp (separately). One rode a bike right through the front gate. When the guard nonchalantly asked why he didn't drive, he got to the POA and responded "THIS RECRUIT DOESN'T HAVE A CAR, SIR!". The guard figured it out and apprehended him.
The second made his way to the local airport, where he called his mom and asked her to buy him a ticket. She told him no problem, then called Scty Bn and told them where her son was. Nothing like a mother's love.
 

HOORAH

Uncle Sam's Misguided Children
ArkhamAsylum said:
The second made his way to the local airport, where he called his mom and asked her to buy him a ticket. She told him no problem, then called Scty Bn and told them where her son was. Nothing like a mother's love.
Wow, there really are mothers out there that don't want their sons to grow-up as p******? That's awesome. Suck it up, Recruit (I'd do the same thing if my kid did that. Tough love I think they call it).
 

mmx1

Woof!
pilot
Contributor
HOORAH said:
Wow, there really are mothers out there that don't want their sons to grow-up as p******? That's awesome. Suck it up, Recruit (I'd do the same thing if my kid did that. Tough love I think they call it).

Aren't mothers usually the ones to shelter their kids? I know my mom would.

Meanwhile, my dad would be on the phone to Quantico.
"Master Sergeant, you lost a candidate here, when can the MP's pick him up? Yea, he was drunk when he arrived and sounding off about how much he hated the Corps"
 

HOORAH

Uncle Sam's Misguided Children
mmx1 said:
Aren't mothers usually the ones to shelter their kids? I know my mom would.

Meanwhile, my dad would be on the phone to Quantico.
"Master Sergeant, you lost a candidate here, when can the MP's pick him up? Yea, he was drunk when he arrived and sounding off about how much he hated the Corps"
My mom is all about the saying "You made your bed now you have to lie in it." That's probably where I get it from. Neither of my parents have bailed me out of my mistakes, ever.
 

Herc_Dude

I believe nicotine + caffeine = protein
pilot
Contributor
Just another basic story ... it was our first night after pick-up at OCS. The 2 am firewatch got their count before changing over and all was good. In the 10 min between the two counts, candidate x disapeared. The poor guys on firewatch were freaking out - hell, somebody dissapeared on their watch! The next morning word came through that he tried to walk out the back gate ... needless to say, they took him back to base and he was processed out without much more said about it. Its always interesting to be part of a platoon where stuff like that happens - always a good story
 
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