Wow! Everyone has said everything i would say, I think!! Do be upfront with your girlfriend about all that the Navy entails. My husband is finishing up OCS so hasn't been on deployments yet, but the hardest part is being a single parent. We have a 2 year old and I just had a baby a few weeks ago, so needless to say, I have had some challenges. Just encourage her to make friends--our church has been a tremendous help--and don't be afraid to rely on others for help. I great book to read is "Navy Spouses Guide" by Laura Stavridis. She is an officer's wife and has some great advice and stories. It's got all the info a spouse needs to know!!
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Deployments...and...wives (girlfriends)
- Thread starter psrogers
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Boss_BlueAngels
Instrument training
I just wanted to say thanks for this post as well... My girlfriend and I have had this discussionn in the past, and is coming up more and more since we're gonna be going to several airshows this summer, but I haven't been able to tell her all the details like being a single parent while I'm away and everything. I'll be talking with her this Sunday about it though. She has told me already that she will support any decision I make 100% even if it means being seperated months at a time, and moving frequently. She also said to go for my dream no matter what, and not to change my goals for her. She isn't too crazy about my flying all the time now, and I'll just be starting my instrument training fall quarter. lol But, I'm sure she'll take this up coming talk just as she has the others. We're too close to let anything like this get between us.
Philippians 4:13
Proverbs 16:9
Romans 10:9
Philippians 4:13
Proverbs 16:9
Romans 10:9
wildflyin69
Grad of OCS 187 Charlie Co. 3rd Plt.
I've got the same issues as EA-6B1. My girl seems to have this awful perception of what having to relocate really means. She is also reluctant to have to move anywhere that's more than an hour from her family. She absolutely supports my decision to become a Marine pilot, but it upsets her that she knows if she sticks with me (and she wants to) she won't have the standard civilian life of having her husband home every day. She's afraid of being alone and one of her major fears is of being totally alone when I deploy. i tried to tell her that military communities are very tight because the people all have something in common, but I'm not sure if she quite believes me. Is there anything else I can do? thanks..
"Push the stick foward, the houses get bigger; pull back, the houses get smaller... unless you keep pulling back, then they get bigger again."
"Push the stick foward, the houses get bigger; pull back, the houses get smaller... unless you keep pulling back, then they get bigger again."
solenita72
SWO Wife
Well, hey, I had the same reservations to moving, and let me tell you what happened to us....We own a home in Norfolk and my parents are three hours away. I didn't want any part of moving out of Virginia. I fought with this through my husband and with previous boyfriends. My decision...no way I was moving!! Then when my husband went thorugh OCS, I had several things happen, and I realized that maybe I didn't need to that close to my parents anymore, and I needed some changes in my life and the life of our family. So, around the 10 week, my husband got his list of duty stations. Out of about 15 only one was not right here in Norfolk!!!! The one was Japan, and that wasn't a possibility!! So, to make a long story short, after finally deciding and being okay with the idea of moving, we stay right here. It was a process that I had to go through to get to that point, and no amount of anyone talking to me was going to get me to accept moving until I had become okay with it. Now, I'm waiting and keeping my fingers crossed that there will be some other choices outside of Norfolk next go around!! Ask her to keep an open mind and to think about it. She will either eventually be okay with it, or she won't be happy. Maybe once she starts going through it she will adapt, I think tons of people have the same reservations and end up having to move and then grow to love the changes. She definately needs to think about your relationship and not be niave of what to expect in your future life together. It is not easy on anyone!!
All I have to say about being a "single parent" is that it is hard. Especially facing the possibilities of having babies born and introducing them to the dad later because he was on deployment. They grow and change so fast in thier first few years. I have an 8 year old right now, and it was hard enough with her! We did get through the first seperation though, and I know we'll get through the future ones, it is just plain hard, physically and emotionally.
I would say though, the military communities are only as tight as the command is, and the one my husband is on is not tight at all!! I have seen though, that most marines seem to have a great support system, and maybe that will change once our ship deploys, but we have been on the ship since Feb. 03 and besides "madatory fun", there has not been any wives or spouses (to be politically correct) contact me about any events. There are some outside events that I plan to get involved with (Surface Officers Spouses or SOS), but it is up to me to search those things out. I thnk with enlisted, there are just alot more support avenues, but as officers, you are just expected to not have issues and problems, and to establish yourself on your own. I see alot of notices for family activities that are geared to enlisted families.
All I have to say about being a "single parent" is that it is hard. Especially facing the possibilities of having babies born and introducing them to the dad later because he was on deployment. They grow and change so fast in thier first few years. I have an 8 year old right now, and it was hard enough with her! We did get through the first seperation though, and I know we'll get through the future ones, it is just plain hard, physically and emotionally.
I would say though, the military communities are only as tight as the command is, and the one my husband is on is not tight at all!! I have seen though, that most marines seem to have a great support system, and maybe that will change once our ship deploys, but we have been on the ship since Feb. 03 and besides "madatory fun", there has not been any wives or spouses (to be politically correct) contact me about any events. There are some outside events that I plan to get involved with (Surface Officers Spouses or SOS), but it is up to me to search those things out. I thnk with enlisted, there are just alot more support avenues, but as officers, you are just expected to not have issues and problems, and to establish yourself on your own. I see alot of notices for family activities that are geared to enlisted families.
My wife and I are both active duty sailors. We were married 12Nov02 and have seen eachother for a combined total of 17 days between Nov and March 1 when the Nimitz pulled out to sea. She returns from the gulf at the end of October and I myself am deploying to Japan for 3 months and will return in October. Communication is the most important thing in a military marriage/relationship. Little cards here and there, e-mails whenever you can and pictures of what's going on back home so they aren't in the dark when they return to too many surprises. I don't want to compete with anyone over who has it worse but this is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life and is more than a second job but I love my wife and will do anything to make sure that she's o.k.
First of all I just want to respond to those men who believe that if you just take your wife or your girlfriend to an airshow she will fully understand the military lifestyle, especially if you want to be a pilot. That is not the case. My husband is a Marine Corp officer and just started flight school and everything we have been through has nothing to do with the airshows he has taken me to in the past.
There is a lot that comes along with being an officers wife, but all of that stuff will only make you a better person in the long run. I am not only supportive of his career choice because I think airplanes are cool too. I am supportive of his career because he spent a long time explaining everything in detail of our lifestyle changes that would be happening. And there was information he didn't know ahead of time that we found out together after he had already started TBS. But I alone made the conscious decision to travel, make new friends, and be with the man I love at the same time. I do not regret that. There is more fun in our new lifestyle than disappointments.
I can honestly tell you from a Marine Corp wife that even though his training has been brutal and long for him so far, I just enjoy the smile he has on his face at the end of the day when he talks about flight school.
There is a lot that comes along with being an officers wife, but all of that stuff will only make you a better person in the long run. I am not only supportive of his career choice because I think airplanes are cool too. I am supportive of his career because he spent a long time explaining everything in detail of our lifestyle changes that would be happening. And there was information he didn't know ahead of time that we found out together after he had already started TBS. But I alone made the conscious decision to travel, make new friends, and be with the man I love at the same time. I do not regret that. There is more fun in our new lifestyle than disappointments.
I can honestly tell you from a Marine Corp wife that even though his training has been brutal and long for him so far, I just enjoy the smile he has on his face at the end of the day when he talks about flight school.
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