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dealing with a reluctant spouse...

Steve Wilkins

Teaching pigs to dance, one pig at a time.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Steve,

Pre-marriage counseling is great...I went through it at my church. But that type of counseling is to teach the couple how to transition from a "boyfriend/girlfriend" situation to a real partnership for life. The counseling that she is talking about is the kind of stuff that attempts to fix that which is broken. If you have to fix a relationship prior to marriage, perhaps you have made a mistake. Better to end it now and grow up a bit then to wait for there to be kids, finances and other legalities.
I'm not talking about your typical "pre-marriage counseling" that is "required" in some places. I'm talking about no sh!t counseling on how to communicate better with your partner. I'm not saying at all that doing this type of counseling means your relationship is broken. My wife and I were together for 5 years before we married and we were still figuring out how to communicate with each other. I don't think most relationships go much further past one or two years before the couple gets married (if they're going to). That's not a lot of time to figure things out. All I'm saying is pre-marriage counseling can help a lot of marriages get off to a good start.....all IMHO of course.
 

Steve Wilkins

Teaching pigs to dance, one pig at a time.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Steve,
Are you married?
Just curious...not trying to rag on you or anything.
Are you serious? Hint: read my posts. Not trying to rag on you or anything. Besides, what's your point?
 

FMRAM

Combating TIP training AGAIN?!
Like I said...I was just curious. I don't have a point, nor was I trying to make one. I looked at your posts and I don't remember seeing anything conclusive...
If you don't want to answer that’s fine too...
 

greysword

Boldly lick where no one has licked before
I know this post is late <looks at calender instead of watch>, but I wanted to add one thing.

I know you have started the process to apply, so I want to add a word of caution: If for some reason you are not accepted the first time around, DO NOT give up!! You may need to apply a couple times to make it to OCS.

Unfortunately, I can envision a scenario where you may be pro-rec no and your finacee says, "Well, I guess we tried and that is that." That would not be an acceptable answer for me, since it is my dream. Don't let him use a pro-rec no as some sort of divine answer, and never apply again. You may regret it down the road.

Oh, and if you need some ammo, just remember that although the Navy life can be rough, if you stick it out all 20 years, the Navy offers an outstanding retirement package compared to the civilian world.

Do the math on half a Commander or Captain's pay for the rest of your life, and you will find you are in much better shape than relying on a 401k and the whims of Human Resources or a scandelous CEO.

You also get base privilages, and other ammenities (such as the GI Bill). You will be young enough to get another career started, so when you both grow old, you won't have to rely on Social Security. Of course if you two don't think the Navy is worth all 20 years active, you could do the reserves for many to all of the same benefits at Officer level (Porsche payment?). The key is you will already be in the system.

Just like Journey sings, "Don't stop, believe'in' " :icon_smil
 
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