Fronch
OCS 03-15 (IW)
Anytime. Feel free to PM me another draft if you want. Us math folks have to stick together!
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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
brogdawg32
Well-Known Member
Figured I would post mine, maybe it will help someone else as they apply. My test scores are on the low end, so maybe my personal statement actually came into play for my ProRec. My recruiter said use the entire space if you want to, so I did, filled the whole thing to paint a picture of myself, but made sure I had the space to break it into readable paragraphs:
While approaching the end of my college career, I began thinking about my future and the type of impact that I would have on society. As I began narrowing down my new list of truly impactful careers, I found one option that stood out above all the others; one that is actually in my blood: The United States Navy.
"Our Nation's Most Hallowed Grounds." These are the words used to describe the place where my grandfather is buried, where nearly four million people visit each year to pay their respects to our nation's heroes. When I think back to standing in front of my grandfather's tombstone at Arlington National Cemetery, I realize anew the impact he had. Korea, World War 2, Vietnam. Twenty-one years of service, three wars, and protecting this country until his last breath. My grandmother supported my grandfather by becoming part of the Navy WAVES during World War 2. Their daughter, my mother, is a self-acclaimed and proud “brat" who married my father many years after his own time serving the Navy. My uncle also served in the Navy during Vietnam. I can confidently say I grew up in an environment influenced by the ideals of the greatest Navy in the world.
Early in life, I felt drawn to positions of leadership and motivated toward achieving results. I attribute this directly to the values instilled in my parents by the Navy, and consequently, instilled in me. I began cultivating this desire at a young age by taking each opportunity to acquire skills that only come with experience, and working toward becoming the best leader that I could be. I have learned that if you can relate to, are respected by, and work harder than those you are appointed to lead, they respond better to the demand for excellence. In junior high school, I prided myself on being the hardest worker on both of my basketball teams and on my football team. I became the treasurer for my student government in 7th grade, and in 8th grade I was the class president. I left junior high as the Valedictorian, attaining an A in each class and earning a 4.22 GPA.
I continued focusing on student leadership in high school, where I was a member of the Associated Student Body for four years and National Honor Society for three years. I served as the treasurer in both ASB and NHS and was elected as the ASB class president my junior year. I again excelled academically, graduating as the Valedictorian of my class with a 4.46 GPA and becoming the AP Scholar of the Year. But where I felt I made true progress as an individual in high school was on my athletic teams. I never abandoned my practice of working harder than anyone else, and my teammates recognized my dedication to this philosophy by electing me team captain in both basketball and football. My coaches gave me the “Warrior Award” for character in both sports my senior year. Leaving high school, I made the most difficult decision of my life at that time, turning down acceptance into the University of California at Los Angeles, my dream school, and accepting an academic scholarship to attend BUniversity. I made the most of this important decision, and was elected captain of my University's lacrosse team while working three jobs and graduating with a 3.47 GPA, a full semester earlier than planned.
My work life, which began at the age of 14, provided great opportunities to hone my leadership skills. At 17 years old, I supervised 85 employees at Wild Rivers Waterpark as the cash control manager, and directly oversaw the $35,000 they collected each shift. Also, as a member of the basketball coaching staff, I started a homeless ministry and mentoring program that still operates at Capistrano Valley High. Furthering this practice of improving myself and seizing opportunities, I attended 15 hours of classroom and on-the-court instruction to further develop my basketball officiating skills as the youngest varsity official in Orange County. Recently I began taking ground lessons toward my private pilot's license, and I also joined the 40th squadron of the Civil Air Patrol in order to better my community and myself as a candidate.
Now that my time in an academic environment is over, I apply those lessons of hard work and adaptability to my work life. Though my 17 years of competitive sports have ended, I compete with myself in the weight room, driving myself toward higher levels of discipline as I continue to achieve new personal records. I will never forget the lessons of teamwork, community and dedication learned during my youth. The unique opportunities I had to lead my peers were priceless for my development as a leader. I refuse to let the drive, the passion, the skills, and the leadership I have cultivated over my life go stagnant by thinking I should be content with what I have done so far.
If I am given this opportunity, the Navy will gain an individual whose past shows a desire to excel at any task set before him and the willingness to better himself until he can perform at the level that sets the standard, not just meets it. The Navy will gain a leader whose high personal standards mean dedication toward progress. The Navy will gain an officer who knows this commission is a remarkable chance to improve himself and his community like never before, and whose history proves he would not waste it.
One of the most influential American figures, President John F. Kennedy, once said, "I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: 'I served in the United States Navy.’” My goal, like many of my family before me, is to say the same.
While approaching the end of my college career, I began thinking about my future and the type of impact that I would have on society. As I began narrowing down my new list of truly impactful careers, I found one option that stood out above all the others; one that is actually in my blood: The United States Navy.
"Our Nation's Most Hallowed Grounds." These are the words used to describe the place where my grandfather is buried, where nearly four million people visit each year to pay their respects to our nation's heroes. When I think back to standing in front of my grandfather's tombstone at Arlington National Cemetery, I realize anew the impact he had. Korea, World War 2, Vietnam. Twenty-one years of service, three wars, and protecting this country until his last breath. My grandmother supported my grandfather by becoming part of the Navy WAVES during World War 2. Their daughter, my mother, is a self-acclaimed and proud “brat" who married my father many years after his own time serving the Navy. My uncle also served in the Navy during Vietnam. I can confidently say I grew up in an environment influenced by the ideals of the greatest Navy in the world.
Early in life, I felt drawn to positions of leadership and motivated toward achieving results. I attribute this directly to the values instilled in my parents by the Navy, and consequently, instilled in me. I began cultivating this desire at a young age by taking each opportunity to acquire skills that only come with experience, and working toward becoming the best leader that I could be. I have learned that if you can relate to, are respected by, and work harder than those you are appointed to lead, they respond better to the demand for excellence. In junior high school, I prided myself on being the hardest worker on both of my basketball teams and on my football team. I became the treasurer for my student government in 7th grade, and in 8th grade I was the class president. I left junior high as the Valedictorian, attaining an A in each class and earning a 4.22 GPA.
I continued focusing on student leadership in high school, where I was a member of the Associated Student Body for four years and National Honor Society for three years. I served as the treasurer in both ASB and NHS and was elected as the ASB class president my junior year. I again excelled academically, graduating as the Valedictorian of my class with a 4.46 GPA and becoming the AP Scholar of the Year. But where I felt I made true progress as an individual in high school was on my athletic teams. I never abandoned my practice of working harder than anyone else, and my teammates recognized my dedication to this philosophy by electing me team captain in both basketball and football. My coaches gave me the “Warrior Award” for character in both sports my senior year. Leaving high school, I made the most difficult decision of my life at that time, turning down acceptance into the University of California at Los Angeles, my dream school, and accepting an academic scholarship to attend BUniversity. I made the most of this important decision, and was elected captain of my University's lacrosse team while working three jobs and graduating with a 3.47 GPA, a full semester earlier than planned.
My work life, which began at the age of 14, provided great opportunities to hone my leadership skills. At 17 years old, I supervised 85 employees at Wild Rivers Waterpark as the cash control manager, and directly oversaw the $35,000 they collected each shift. Also, as a member of the basketball coaching staff, I started a homeless ministry and mentoring program that still operates at Capistrano Valley High. Furthering this practice of improving myself and seizing opportunities, I attended 15 hours of classroom and on-the-court instruction to further develop my basketball officiating skills as the youngest varsity official in Orange County. Recently I began taking ground lessons toward my private pilot's license, and I also joined the 40th squadron of the Civil Air Patrol in order to better my community and myself as a candidate.
Now that my time in an academic environment is over, I apply those lessons of hard work and adaptability to my work life. Though my 17 years of competitive sports have ended, I compete with myself in the weight room, driving myself toward higher levels of discipline as I continue to achieve new personal records. I will never forget the lessons of teamwork, community and dedication learned during my youth. The unique opportunities I had to lead my peers were priceless for my development as a leader. I refuse to let the drive, the passion, the skills, and the leadership I have cultivated over my life go stagnant by thinking I should be content with what I have done so far.
If I am given this opportunity, the Navy will gain an individual whose past shows a desire to excel at any task set before him and the willingness to better himself until he can perform at the level that sets the standard, not just meets it. The Navy will gain a leader whose high personal standards mean dedication toward progress. The Navy will gain an officer who knows this commission is a remarkable chance to improve himself and his community like never before, and whose history proves he would not waste it.
One of the most influential American figures, President John F. Kennedy, once said, "I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: 'I served in the United States Navy.’” My goal, like many of my family before me, is to say the same.
mike23!
Member
After reading everyone elses motivational statements I feel like mine is sub-par. Any advice with my statement would be appreciated. I was also wandering what form most of you had used for your statment, the OCS application I have to fill out says to keep the statment within 200-250 words.
I am applying for a commission in the Navy because I want to do better not just for myself but most of all for my family. Being in the Navy has been a family tradition that was started with my grandfather and father. I wanted to follow in their footsteps as well as give my son footsteps to follow if he so chooses. Since joining the Navy I set the goal to complete my degree and eventually apply for a commission and become a Naval Aviator. Now that I have achieved my first goal it is time to follow through with my second goal and apply for a commission. I feel the time I have spent in the Navy and the different assignments I have been on have helped me to establish a strong since of responsibility and leadership that will greatly help me on my path to a commission. The Navy Core Values have been instilled in me since day one of the Navy and I uphold myself to nothing less than following those values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. I do my best at every goal that is placed in front of me and I feel that as a commissioned officer I will do my best everyday to lead by example for other Sailors. I hope to be selected to OCS and earn a commission in the Navy so I can lead and one day have the honor to command in the world’s greatest Navy.
I am applying for a commission in the Navy because I want to do better not just for myself but most of all for my family. Being in the Navy has been a family tradition that was started with my grandfather and father. I wanted to follow in their footsteps as well as give my son footsteps to follow if he so chooses. Since joining the Navy I set the goal to complete my degree and eventually apply for a commission and become a Naval Aviator. Now that I have achieved my first goal it is time to follow through with my second goal and apply for a commission. I feel the time I have spent in the Navy and the different assignments I have been on have helped me to establish a strong since of responsibility and leadership that will greatly help me on my path to a commission. The Navy Core Values have been instilled in me since day one of the Navy and I uphold myself to nothing less than following those values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. I do my best at every goal that is placed in front of me and I feel that as a commissioned officer I will do my best everyday to lead by example for other Sailors. I hope to be selected to OCS and earn a commission in the Navy so I can lead and one day have the honor to command in the world’s greatest Navy.
ReactorOperator
Member
Ok, some notes. Pay closer attention to punctuation and sentence flow. The first few sentences are very clunky. Watch your spelling (attention to detail). Try to cut some of the extraneous information and be more direct in your statements (minimize "I feel"). The sentiment is very good and I believe you could have a great package (lol) based on your service history, you just have to make sure you communicate everything well.
This is a quick revision I did:
I am applying for a commission because I want to better myself and continue my family's legacy of service. Since enlisting I have furthered my education in hopes of commissioning as a Naval Aviator. The time I have spent in the Navy has brought out a strong sense of responsibility and leadership that I strive to instill in my junior sailors. I work hard towards every goal that is placed in front of me and as an officer I will continue to lead by example for my sailors. I hope to be selected to OCS and earn a commission in the Navy to lead and one day have the honor to command in the world’s greatest Navy.
It's not great since I don't know enough about you to put better transition sentences in there, but I think it gets the idea across. I hope this helps, good luck!
mike23!
Member
I appreciate the critique, I'll definitley sit down and rewrite with a little better flow. The LOL is a little discouraging though.......
ReactorOperator
Member
Oh I was reflecting that I had a "that's what she said" type quote in the response.
mike23!
Member
HAHAHAAH, I was just kidding, but it makes a lot more sense now. (mmmhhhmmm (sling blade voice).
This is my rough draft of my motivational statement. Any tweaks or comments from anyone would be appreciated. Thanks!!
It would be an honor to continue my navy career as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Officer. Ever since I was teenage boy, I wanted to serve my country in the US Navy, and I did! My dream continued as I became explosive ordnance disposal technician and continued as I put on the senior EOD technician pin. I made multiple deployments to many different places in the world and seen many different things. I am very grateful for the wonderful opportunity I had to serve my country and will do it again when given the chance.
When selected, I will continue following the core values of honor, courage and commitment while always giving nothing less than 110%. I will strive to leave the navy and EOD community a better place than what it was when I got there.
I would make a great EOD officer because I came up through the enlisted ranks and I know what it takes to be a great EOD technician. I have also witnessed through my leaders what it takes to be a great leader. I recognize that people are the greatest asset to the navy and allowing them to be empowered and given the chance to make a difference will lead them to success.
I believe that people are the number one asset in any organization. The people on the team will either lead the team to success or failure. Realizing the potential of each individual is very important and has to be complemented with the latest training and newest technological advances available.
With the right people, the latest training and having the most advanced technological advances available, the US Navy EOD ranks will continuing to be the world’s best EOD force.
A good leader listens to all of their peoples input before making a calculated and informed decision. I take everyone’s input serious and I will leave no stone unturned when making any decision no matter how difficult the decision may be.
I will always keep the navy’s core values in mind and do what’s right no matter what. Select me now to attend OCS, and I will not let this board down. I promise that the navy will get everything I got!
HOOYAH EOD!!!
It would be an honor to continue my navy career as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Officer. Ever since I was teenage boy, I wanted to serve my country in the US Navy, and I did! My dream continued as I became explosive ordnance disposal technician and continued as I put on the senior EOD technician pin. I made multiple deployments to many different places in the world and seen many different things. I am very grateful for the wonderful opportunity I had to serve my country and will do it again when given the chance.
When selected, I will continue following the core values of honor, courage and commitment while always giving nothing less than 110%. I will strive to leave the navy and EOD community a better place than what it was when I got there.
I would make a great EOD officer because I came up through the enlisted ranks and I know what it takes to be a great EOD technician. I have also witnessed through my leaders what it takes to be a great leader. I recognize that people are the greatest asset to the navy and allowing them to be empowered and given the chance to make a difference will lead them to success.
I believe that people are the number one asset in any organization. The people on the team will either lead the team to success or failure. Realizing the potential of each individual is very important and has to be complemented with the latest training and newest technological advances available.
With the right people, the latest training and having the most advanced technological advances available, the US Navy EOD ranks will continuing to be the world’s best EOD force.
A good leader listens to all of their peoples input before making a calculated and informed decision. I take everyone’s input serious and I will leave no stone unturned when making any decision no matter how difficult the decision may be.
I will always keep the navy’s core values in mind and do what’s right no matter what. Select me now to attend OCS, and I will not let this board down. I promise that the navy will get everything I got!
HOOYAH EOD!!!
jakejake527
Active Member
Write a motivational statement that include words like "accountability, ethics, adaptability, integrity, team-player, etc...".
Explain how "honor, courage, commitment" means to your daily life growing up and how the Navy's values have always been a part of you.
Put it all together and explain what you can do for the Navy (not what the Navy can do for you)
paulmkrueger
Well-Known Member
Round two. I need to tailor my statement towards SWO. Any recommendations to get the attention of SWO boards?
Also, a friend of mine who is in STA-21 mentioned that if you have overcome adversity you should add that. I have a father who is a paralyzed stroke victim and my mother passed away from breast cancer while I was in college. I always thought that was private information and would seem like I was throwing myself a pity party, but she said that it shows that I can overcome challenges and still persevere. I'm hesitant to mention it, unless any of you think it would help. Thoughts?
Also, a friend of mine who is in STA-21 mentioned that if you have overcome adversity you should add that. I have a father who is a paralyzed stroke victim and my mother passed away from breast cancer while I was in college. I always thought that was private information and would seem like I was throwing myself a pity party, but she said that it shows that I can overcome challenges and still persevere. I'm hesitant to mention it, unless any of you think it would help. Thoughts?
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
When you write something you need to take a step back and go "how did I want it to sound, and could it be interpreted as something other than what I wanted", and example is paragraph 3, that seems like a slap in the face to those that came via OCS, I sincerely doubt you meant it to sound that way.
We also don't know anything about you, how long you were in the USN and how long you were in the EOD community, what your degree is, what your GPA is, did you stay in the reserves?
mike23!
Member
Could I get some opinions on my core values statement. I've had a few people look it over and have made some recommendations but the more eyes I have on it the better I will feel about the final copy.
The Navy Core Values is a vision that has been instilled in me since I first took the oath to join the Navy. From the delayed entry program to my current active duty assignment I have lived by and promoted the Core Values every day. HONOR is being proud of what you do and feeling proud to wake up every morning to put on the uniform of a U.S. Navy Sailor. Honor is having pride in yourself and the legacy you leave behind for those to emulate. COURAGE is standing up for what’s right even when your peers do not agree. Courage is what lies within leaders to push and lead their Sailors, Soldiers, Marines and Airmen to continue to fight even when they are tired, beaten, bruised, and battered. COMMITMENT is staying true to the oath that you took to protect our country. As a Sailor I am committed to doing whatever it takes to protect our country from foreign and domestic threats even when my life is on the line. The Navy Core Values is the ethical compass that every Sailor should use to guide them throughout their life and career in the United States Navy.
The Navy Core Values is a vision that has been instilled in me since I first took the oath to join the Navy. From the delayed entry program to my current active duty assignment I have lived by and promoted the Core Values every day. HONOR is being proud of what you do and feeling proud to wake up every morning to put on the uniform of a U.S. Navy Sailor. Honor is having pride in yourself and the legacy you leave behind for those to emulate. COURAGE is standing up for what’s right even when your peers do not agree. Courage is what lies within leaders to push and lead their Sailors, Soldiers, Marines and Airmen to continue to fight even when they are tired, beaten, bruised, and battered. COMMITMENT is staying true to the oath that you took to protect our country. As a Sailor I am committed to doing whatever it takes to protect our country from foreign and domestic threats even when my life is on the line. The Navy Core Values is the ethical compass that every Sailor should use to guide them throughout their life and career in the United States Navy.
Mozart
Active Member
I am liking the help ive seen in this thread. lots of good points and critiques. I was Pro Rec Y Pilot/NFO with decent scores. I thought I would post up my motivational statement as a reference. I am not saying it is good but considering I was lacking in a lot of areas I have a hard time believing the board didn't like my statement and still selected me.
Feel free to take ideas but please don't plagiarize. You don't want to get somewhere in life on ideas that weren't yours and realize your not qualified to be where you are.
Note: This wasn't my final version. I am not sure what happened to it. Its basically the same but has some grammatical errors and maybe a few words aren't quite right. Please don't point that out.
I didn’t grow up with an obsession with planes. We lived in San Diego and my father was in the U.S. Navy. So, like any other boy who grew up around ships and planes, I played with toy tanks and my family went to the Air Show every year. Maybe I was too young, but my dad never talked about the military. His dad was in the U.S. Navy, and my grandpa would give me a book about planes every year for Christmas and my birthday. I remember I always built the models and enjoyed reading about the planes but again I wasn’t obsessed. I wasn’t obsessed that is, until we went the yearly Air Show. Jet propelled tanks, military fire trucks and marine operated Humvees were cool, but my mom knew my attention was with the jets and helicopters. I was enthralled when I would hear the name Blue Angels and I can still feel the chills in my spine as the C-130’s and B2 bombers would rumble down the runway. Back before it was supposedly banned, an F-14 would always break the sound barrier and while everyone else complained about their ears I would be seen grinning and begging for more. Growing up next to a naval base I was somewhat spoiled. A fighter jet in the sky was not uncommon and I would kindly ask my mom to wait a few seconds before we entered the store so I could watch it. Like many other families, my parents divorced and I moved to Colorado, but to this day I will take a moment and watch helicopters and C-130’s circle around Pueblo whenever I get the chance.
I went to college because, as arrogant as it might seem, I knew I couldn’t let my intelligence be wasted. I am a well-rounded smart person. I can build an off road Jeep from the frame up, I can plumb a house from start to finish, I enjoy reading and objectifying challenging books like Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, and I can understand and appreciate the innate heart and beauty of a concerto composed by Bach or a mathematical masterpiece painstakingly perfected by Mozart. Originally I wanted to major in physics but I realized it was too theoretical and I am a more practical kind of person. Naturally, I switched to the more hands on degree of chemistry. After competing my undergraduate work I thought about joining the Navy but my education felt unfinished. While my friends buy me Top Gun t-shirts for every holiday and have graciously given me the nickname of Chewy, because I love star wars and frequently talk about planes (not because I can produce his trademark yell, not for lack of a few long nights trying), I do not regret my decision to go to graduate school and not join the Navy. In the two years since I decided to forego a try at becoming a Navy pilot, I have lived life to the fullest and grown as a person. I took up hiking CO 14ers and bagged 8 in one summer. I made a significant contribution to my field with novel publishable research, and I challenged myself more than I thought possible. Through it all there has always been the desire to join the Navy, to follow in my fathers and grandfathers footsteps, and to fly. I could have skipped graduate school and gone straight for the Navy when I had the chance, and I would have succeeded, but I wouldn’t have the sense of completion with my education that I have now, and I wouldn’t be as mentally, intellectually, and physically fit as I am today. I am excited to push myself and challenge myself in the same ways as I have before, but also in new ways as a Navy pilot.
As an undergraduate I filled my spare time with a lot of school activities. As a freshman I rushed a fraternity. I was asked to become a brother but my finances didn’t allow it. I stayed friends with many of the members and we formed an intramural soccer team. I had played in middle and high school so it was natural that I picked that sport. We came in second place that year behind a fraternity that had a couple all-star soccer players on their team. Starting that year I also was a part of an Eco-House. While we never assigned official designations for members, I was unofficially the coordinator and liaison. It was my job to recruit new members, represent our interests at city and university meetings and to plan and man the yearly Earth day booth. I took a leave of absence to study abroad in England during the spring semester of 2009. I wanted to experience other cultures and get a feel for the science field in other nations. They say science is universal, while that may be true, chemists aren’t and I learned a great deal of new approaches and teaching/learning styles. During my junior and senior year of my undergraduate education I played intramural ultimate Frisbee, softball, joined a performance motorsports club, and volunteered for a few community services. My involvements throughout college taught me teamwork, flexibility, and provided me with some escape from classes to keep me sane. There aren’t many better ways to forget 6 long hours in a chemistry lab with a headache than to play racquet ball and then finish the evening with a physical game of soccer or ultimate Frisbee.
My curiosity and determination have always led me to interesting places in my life, whether it be flying across the world to attend school, or adventuring on a 50 mile hike into the Colorado wilderness with my best friend because we want to find somewhere where possibly no one has ever been. I know people in all branches of the military who have served or are currently serving,therefore, I have an idea of the satisfaction they have and the challenges that await me. If I didn’t think the opportunity to lead sailors and to serve my country wasn’t worth some sacrifice and challenge then I would not be applying for a commission. I am excited to offer my skills to the United States Navy and I am even more excited to fulfill my duty as a pilot and have the satification of knowing that what I do not everyone is capable of.
Feel free to take ideas but please don't plagiarize. You don't want to get somewhere in life on ideas that weren't yours and realize your not qualified to be where you are.
Note: This wasn't my final version. I am not sure what happened to it. Its basically the same but has some grammatical errors and maybe a few words aren't quite right. Please don't point that out.
I didn’t grow up with an obsession with planes. We lived in San Diego and my father was in the U.S. Navy. So, like any other boy who grew up around ships and planes, I played with toy tanks and my family went to the Air Show every year. Maybe I was too young, but my dad never talked about the military. His dad was in the U.S. Navy, and my grandpa would give me a book about planes every year for Christmas and my birthday. I remember I always built the models and enjoyed reading about the planes but again I wasn’t obsessed. I wasn’t obsessed that is, until we went the yearly Air Show. Jet propelled tanks, military fire trucks and marine operated Humvees were cool, but my mom knew my attention was with the jets and helicopters. I was enthralled when I would hear the name Blue Angels and I can still feel the chills in my spine as the C-130’s and B2 bombers would rumble down the runway. Back before it was supposedly banned, an F-14 would always break the sound barrier and while everyone else complained about their ears I would be seen grinning and begging for more. Growing up next to a naval base I was somewhat spoiled. A fighter jet in the sky was not uncommon and I would kindly ask my mom to wait a few seconds before we entered the store so I could watch it. Like many other families, my parents divorced and I moved to Colorado, but to this day I will take a moment and watch helicopters and C-130’s circle around Pueblo whenever I get the chance.
I went to college because, as arrogant as it might seem, I knew I couldn’t let my intelligence be wasted. I am a well-rounded smart person. I can build an off road Jeep from the frame up, I can plumb a house from start to finish, I enjoy reading and objectifying challenging books like Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, and I can understand and appreciate the innate heart and beauty of a concerto composed by Bach or a mathematical masterpiece painstakingly perfected by Mozart. Originally I wanted to major in physics but I realized it was too theoretical and I am a more practical kind of person. Naturally, I switched to the more hands on degree of chemistry. After competing my undergraduate work I thought about joining the Navy but my education felt unfinished. While my friends buy me Top Gun t-shirts for every holiday and have graciously given me the nickname of Chewy, because I love star wars and frequently talk about planes (not because I can produce his trademark yell, not for lack of a few long nights trying), I do not regret my decision to go to graduate school and not join the Navy. In the two years since I decided to forego a try at becoming a Navy pilot, I have lived life to the fullest and grown as a person. I took up hiking CO 14ers and bagged 8 in one summer. I made a significant contribution to my field with novel publishable research, and I challenged myself more than I thought possible. Through it all there has always been the desire to join the Navy, to follow in my fathers and grandfathers footsteps, and to fly. I could have skipped graduate school and gone straight for the Navy when I had the chance, and I would have succeeded, but I wouldn’t have the sense of completion with my education that I have now, and I wouldn’t be as mentally, intellectually, and physically fit as I am today. I am excited to push myself and challenge myself in the same ways as I have before, but also in new ways as a Navy pilot.
As an undergraduate I filled my spare time with a lot of school activities. As a freshman I rushed a fraternity. I was asked to become a brother but my finances didn’t allow it. I stayed friends with many of the members and we formed an intramural soccer team. I had played in middle and high school so it was natural that I picked that sport. We came in second place that year behind a fraternity that had a couple all-star soccer players on their team. Starting that year I also was a part of an Eco-House. While we never assigned official designations for members, I was unofficially the coordinator and liaison. It was my job to recruit new members, represent our interests at city and university meetings and to plan and man the yearly Earth day booth. I took a leave of absence to study abroad in England during the spring semester of 2009. I wanted to experience other cultures and get a feel for the science field in other nations. They say science is universal, while that may be true, chemists aren’t and I learned a great deal of new approaches and teaching/learning styles. During my junior and senior year of my undergraduate education I played intramural ultimate Frisbee, softball, joined a performance motorsports club, and volunteered for a few community services. My involvements throughout college taught me teamwork, flexibility, and provided me with some escape from classes to keep me sane. There aren’t many better ways to forget 6 long hours in a chemistry lab with a headache than to play racquet ball and then finish the evening with a physical game of soccer or ultimate Frisbee.
My curiosity and determination have always led me to interesting places in my life, whether it be flying across the world to attend school, or adventuring on a 50 mile hike into the Colorado wilderness with my best friend because we want to find somewhere where possibly no one has ever been. I know people in all branches of the military who have served or are currently serving,therefore, I have an idea of the satisfaction they have and the challenges that await me. If I didn’t think the opportunity to lead sailors and to serve my country wasn’t worth some sacrifice and challenge then I would not be applying for a commission. I am excited to offer my skills to the United States Navy and I am even more excited to fulfill my duty as a pilot and have the satification of knowing that what I do not everyone is capable of.
varlogkern
Frozen Hellscape Survivor
Just reading back through here, picking up some ideas/suggestions as I put the final touches on mine. I spoke with my processor and they sent me a guide saying 400 words was the cap, but I see many people here exceeding that by quite a bit. I'm about about 850 words (still fitting in the box with some space left over) right now. What is the going school of thought on this? Is it okay to go past 400 as long as what you are saying isn't fluff, but telling examples/situations of not just what qualities you have but why you have them? Thanks.
loui86dz
Do or do not... there is no try-Master Yoda
My recruiter told me that the length of the motivational statement doesn't matter just as long as it fits in the space. The form you write the motivational statement on (I think it is the APSR) also doesn't list any limits besides your MS fitting within the space. My motivational statement was 1,205 words, and I was selected as an IW in the April/June IDC board. So your motivational statement can be long if it fits within the space on the form, has relevant information in it, and is well written.
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