Vet hiring and the civ/mil divide: in which nittany03 threadjacks a threadjack

[AllAmerican75]

Even better when you get the same questions from family the few times you can see them over the holidays or between PCS.

One of the common misconceptions is that when you're in port you just shut it all down and take vacation.

It's gotten to the point where I just avoid talking about it rather than explain the same thing for the 5th time.

I've got a cousin who's got similar misconceptions. I was deployed through Thanksgiving and Christmas one year and so our family put care packages and whatnot together for me. She apparently complained the whole time about why it was such a big deal that I was gone and why everyone was making such a fuss about it. She apparently thought it was having the time of my life at sea like I was on some cruise ship or something. She couldn't comprehend how much it sucked at times and how busy I actually was.

The odd part is that we come from a military family and her own father -- my uncle -- was in the USAF and Air Guard. It probably didn't help that the only times I got to talk to the family were when I was in port in places like Italy, Greece, Malta, and Spain.

 

[nittany03]

2. I remember one of the Superintendants at the Academy telling us about the civil-military divide, and how very recently as we was going through BWI with his whites on and his 3-star shoulder boards, a few people started asking him questions about the Army and, despite insisting he was in the Navy, they responded back with "thanks Sarge."

 

[sevenhelmet]

And people wonder why we get out of the military and don't talk about it...

The best is when people ask a question, and then start lecturing me on what I did in the military, and how they know so much about it, I must be wrong. It doesn't happen very often because, see above...

I was staying with extended family in LA (red flag #1) once, before flying out commercial for a work trip while on AD. The host asked me if I'd ever seen a UFO while flying. I very innocently answered in the negative, and cited the number of optical illusions I had seen that later turned out to be aircraft, satellites, etc. He got extremely agitated and accused me of covering up a government conspiracy, and cited "pilot friends" of his who had seen UFOs that were clearly evidence the truth is out there. Up to that point in the evening, conversation had been very cordial and enjoyable. I backpedaled, and changed the subject. Also, never stayed there again.

I often find the most awkward questions start with something like "So, you're a test pilot..." or "So, you were in the military..."

I'm fortunate to be in a job where there are a decent number of veterans with a good mix of civilian folks. I haven't run into any obviously negative stereotypers yet, but I also don't advertise that I'm a vet. I don't have vet plates, I don't wear Navy swag at work (or really much at all), and I generally don't talk about it unless asked a direct question.

 

[nittany03]

From what you're saying, Sir, it seems like some people hear that you're a "Veteran" and concoct an idea in their head of what you are all about instead of actually paying attention and finding out who you actually are as a person.

The majority of civilians have had zero exposure to the military. Zippo. Zilch. None. No relatives, no friends in uniform, nothing. So all they know is whatever they've gotten from movies, TV, video games, and maybe books . . . if they're the type that actually reads anything. Some people are self-aware enough to understand this, and know what they don't know. They're usually cool. The others are idiots who fill in the blanks with their own preconceived notions of how it "must be" in the military and to be a veteran. They're a prejudiced pain in the ass. Granted, this is all really a continuum, but the point remains.

Of course, on the flipside, you have vets that understand that WE are the ones entering THEIR industry, and thus WE bear the larger burden of assimilating and fitting into the culture. And you have others who are entitled "thank me for my service" douches. Again, continuum.

 

[Brett327]

The majority of civilians have had zero exposure to the military. Zippo. Zilch. None. No relatives, no friends in uniform, nothing. So all they know is whatever they've gotten from movies, TV, video games, and maybe books . . . if they're the type that actually reads anything. Some people are self-aware enough to understand this, and know what they don't know. They're usually cool. The others are idiots who fill in the blanks with their own preconceived notions of how it "must be" in the military and to be a veteran. They're a prejudiced pain in the ass. Granted, this is all really a continuum, but the point remains.

Of course, on the flipside, you have vets that understand that WE are the ones entering THEIR industry, and thus WE bear the larger burden of assimilating and fitting into the culture. And you have others who are entitled "thank me for my service" douches. Again, continuum.

I haven't personally run into a whole lot of this stuff, as I tend to maintain a pretty low "military" profile. Last year at my 30th HS reunion, I got a lot of questions - mostly about flying and being on a carrier. Nothing too outlandish or uninformed. It strikes me that there's probably a pretty big difference between the vets that do a tour or two in the infantry, and your typical Naval Officer (or Sailor). The worst examples of entitled Vet Bro seem to mostly come from the former group, and unfortunately that is what a lot of people are exposed to through social media and the like.

You make a good point - everyone, no matter their background, has to assimilate into the organization they work with. People who can't manage that - for whatever reason - should probably go away.

 

[Gonzo08]

I just now realized that this thread split off from the Pork chop thread. Classic @nittany03.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

The majority of civilians have had zero exposure to the military. Zippo. Zilch. None. No relatives, no friends in uniform, nothing. So all they know is whatever they've gotten from movies, TV, video games, and maybe books . . . if they're the type that actually reads anything. Some people are self-aware enough to understand this, and know what they don't know. They're usually cool. The others are idiots who fill in the blanks with their own preconceived notions of how it "must be" in the military and to be a veteran. They're a prejudiced pain in the ass. Granted, this is all really a continuum, but the point remains.

Of course, on the flipside, you have vets that understand that WE are the ones entering THEIR industry, and thus WE bear the larger burden of assimilating and fitting into the culture. And you have others who are entitled "thank me for my service" douches. Again, continuum.

I am tired of the people asking if I was evaluated for PTSD, or thinking that everyone in the military has routinely fired rifles. Where I live we can still shoot off fireworks, there are the people in our city's FB page who are always posting that fireworks should not be allowed and we need to think of all the veterans with PTSD, until one of the veterans responded with "I like fireworks and love the 4th, so don't tell me how I should feel", that opened up the flood of comments from veterans telling this chick the same thing.

On the hiring front I have run into several veterans who seem to be more of a hindrance in getting more vets hired at their organization, they say "send me an email with any questions you have" or "If you contact me I can give you advice" and yet they never respond, and then you talk to other veterans who give the same story, yet these people somehow keep their jobs doing who knows what.

 

[Gonzo08]

Where I live we can still shoot off fireworks, there are the people in our city's FB page who are always posting that fireworks should not be allowed and we need to think of all the veterans with PTSD, until one of the veterans responded with "I like fireworks and love the 4th, so don't tell me how I should feel", that opened up the flood of comments from veterans telling this chick the same thing.

Few things irk me more that people on my town FB page using Vets with PTSD as an argument against fireworks. The argument should be that they're illegal in the city limits.

 

[Jim123]

Oh man... the veteran/fireworks thing is so dumb. It's also one of the more trollworthy things on FB/NextDoor/Neighbors.

 

[AllAmerican75]

I am tired of the people asking if I was evaluated for PTSD, or thinking that everyone in the military has routinely fired rifles. Where I live we can still shoot off fireworks, there are the people in our city's FB page who are always posting that fireworks should not be allowed and we need to think of all the veterans with PTSD, until one of the veterans responded with "I like fireworks and love the 4th, so don't tell me how I should feel", that opened up the flood of comments from veterans telling this chick the same thing.

Few things irk me more that people on my town FB page using Vets with PTSD as an argument against fireworks. The argument should be that they're illegal in the city limits.

Oh man... the veteran/fireworks thing is so dumb. It's also one of the more trollworthy things on FB/NextDoor/Neighbors.

Reminds me of this video from the Vet Bro community:

 

[sevenhelmet]

Few things irk me more that people on my town FB page using Vets with PTSD as an argument against fireworks. The argument should be that they're illegal in the city limits.

Legal in the city limits of my locale from 30 June to 5 July. The 3rd and 4th get pretty epic. It actually did cross my mind this year "Good thing I was never in a gun battle on the ground..." Actually had a couple of people ask me if I was bothered. Not a bit. Shot some off myself, then cracked a beer and watched the show until midnight.

Unless someone actually is a veteran with PTSD or living with a family member who is, then my opinion is they should mind their own business. This world would be a better place if folks (Karens?) would stop looking for reasons to SJW everything they can think of, and not all PTSD is created equal.

For example, ring a bell or start blowing short bursts on a whistle while I'm trying to sleep, and you might die quickly and horribly...

 

[nittany03]

For example, ring a bell or start blowing short bursts on a whistle while I'm trying to sleep, and you might die quickly and horribly...

"Man overboard, man overboard, man overboard . . . man overboard starboard side . . ."

FECK! (musters, then watches total clusterfuck unfold)

 

[Gonzo08]

FECK! (musters, then watches total clusterfuck unfold)

Big XO: "Too slow, we're gonna do it again...."

 

[DanMa1156]

And people wonder why we get out of the military and don't talk about it...

The best is when people ask a question, and then start lecturing me on what I did in the military, and how they know so much about it, I must be wrong. It doesn't happen very often because, see above...

Semi-related: My own mother to this day swears that the whole military except me supports Eddie Gallagher, and that I couldn't possibly understand the code of ethics he was supposed to be living in because I've never been in combat.

 

[MIDNJAC]

"Man overboard, man overboard, man overboard . . . man overboard starboard side . . ."

FECK! (musters, then watches total clusterfuck unfold)

I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe that there is a special colony in hell for the chem light bandits of the world.....