How did your internal debate between joining the Navy and pursuing a civilian career go, assuming you had one?
I have had a rather lengthy internal debate with myself. My mother joined the Air Force to get the GI Bill for college. She raised me alone and dad wasn't in the picture. And the YMCA took me in after my stepdad abused me for several years, which changed my life. My role model from there ended up joining the Navy. So that's another influence I suppose. That being said, my mom's health hasn't been the best lately, and she is the last person alive in my family. Heart trouble. So, there's that which is on my mind, but she is a strong woman.
But it isn't a question of whether I want to just join the Navy, rather it is whether I can convince myself that I have what it takes to become a leader. I have lost many nights of sleep pondering whether I had the testicular fortitude to lead by example rather than by way of my words, because actions speak so loudly that nobody will be able to hear what I am saying if I am fucking up. Bottom line is, I don't want to be a hard-ass, burnout officer who is just there to get the title and benefits of serving in the armed forces. I want to work alongside the brave men and women who make this whole operation work.
There has also been an ethical consideration - will I drop ordinance on the enemy if it is required of me? What kind of personal politics are involved culminating in my decision to join? My answer to this question came with only lots of time... I think that even if I choose not to agree with the policy of the U.S. government, it takes courage and commitment to do what is required, even if it means dropping bombs. A lot of that sort of inspiration came from reading books by Richard Feynman. Also, I would gladly give my life for the sake of the liberation of North Korea, given the opportunity, and, for that matter, for the sake of any cause the U.S. government considers to be important. Patriotism seems to be a tricky issue for me, but I think that being critical and supportive of the U.S. government is the most patriotic thing a citizen can do for his or her country.
Do I want to raise a family? I suppose not now. Well, my girlfriend of many years broke it off with me. Was engaged. It hurts, but needless to say I'm not the only person who goes through the motions. It's a part of the sacrifice, and I'm willing to take on something greater than myself.
What sold you to join the Navy? Since, you have to be competitive to get into Naval Aviation, I am assuming every one of us are competitive enough to get a decent job in the civilian sector.
My grandfather was a Naval Aviator, so hearing his stories certainly impacted my decision. I studied mathematics and Russian at my university, and as a teaching assistant to actuarial science professors, I could have easily gone into insurance clearing $70k+ a year. Yet, there is more to life than finances. The bottom line is that I don't fit in with the corporate world; I'm too rough around the edges, and I crave challenges. I don't crave prestige, and I don't believe in soldier worship. So, I certainly am not joining for boot reasons like wearing your NWU around everywhere. I want to serve quietly, drawing as little attention to myself as possible, and kick the fucking asses of the enemies of the U.S. government.
I am going to play the devil's advocate for a bit here. Why risk your life, give up a lot of personal freedom, and choose to be away from your family for extended periods of time when you could have a decent job, lot more freedom, room for advancement, and maybe more money in the civilian sector?
I want to give back to America what it has given to me. It is considerably likely that I would be high on drugs somewhere or in a ditch, but the government pulled through for my mother and me. I will give back ten times what it has given to me. It's my country, too, and I'm proud of her.
As a young college student/grad, why do you want to spend your young year in the rigidity of military life when you could have the world for yourself?
Some of us just get the call.
