Villa -
Awesome post.
Pilotswife.. (or anyone else with sentiment on same wavelength)
I can only reply with what I personally know within my own marriage. There is an equal compromise and recognition. I don't feel that I've given it all up for my husband's career. While there were serious choices that needed to be made, times when I wasn't working I volunteered or furthered my education. I've worked full time and have been career driven on the fast track. I had my children and now have time to enjoy them while being home full time. As a provider, you can't ask for a more stellar guy. When times were lean, he was busting his butt doing extra projects to earn money. When he's on det, he's the one grilling out and being creative to liquidate what he can for the family. Does he go out and have a great time? Sure. He goes sightseeing and calls me from random places, sending photo text messages. He loves his family and misses us greatly. He had his 'cruise' where he spent free time wasted. He came. He saw. He moved on. Not all men are alcohol driven.. Still, man time is no different than our need for girl time. I'd go batcrazy, if I was never 'permitted' to go out with a girlfriend. Likewise, you better believe (including this morning).. I was up at 5 a.m. making him an egg sandwich before he left for PT and a big exam today. Shoot.. I was the one able to go back to bed for 2 hours before the kids needed to get up for school. He mowed our large yard, worked with our babies for 2 hours yesterday getting their training wheels off of their bikes!.. plus, had a study session with co-workers later that afternoon at the house and had to prepare his uniform for inspection today. So, he wants to drop a rod in the pond.. go for it!
Likewise, tomorrow morning I'll meet a girlfriend for coffee and breakfast.. oh yeah, and he receives his paper orders in a few weeks to stay here in Jax.. So, I'll be filling out a form for that Navy Spouse career advancement account and will be working on my education a little more this upcoming year.
It's all good.. it's called compromise. You never want to be in a partnership where you give 100% and receive nothing in return. You always loose. Carve out and create something for yourself in this lifestyle. For when he is in the fleet (guessing he is in training now).. those are times you'll be grateful that you didn't 'give it all up for him'. There are plenty of *us out there that have been through this carnival ride more than a few times and can say the spouses that do it successfully spend their time being proactive in this life.. not reminiscing on what they've lost because of their choice to marry a man in the service.