For #1 it is notably more painful to not getting what s/he wants for absolutely uncontrollable reasons, such as "Navy needs". Really, what in general would be an advise in such case? Hold your integrity and grow where you're planted?
Look, Lt Wes Van Dorn didn't want to be an aviator, he wanted SEALs instead but failed Hell Week, and being diverted to aviation when it came to selection he choose Sea Dragons as "most family-friendly community with rare and short deployments". He was about #1 in SEALs training but it didn't help, and seeing naval aviation as surely second best he seemingly didn't think he has to be #1 in aviation training pipeline: "family first" position is not career reinforcement. It is interesting whether he viewed SEALs as "family friendly" (if so, strange enough), but somehow #1 intention seems to be good in the black-and-white world only, isn't it?