Those Crazy Plane Captains

[room5047]

Maintenance complaints submitted by US Navy pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."


show me your WAARRRR face!

 

[jaerose]

These cannot be real...can they?

JR

 

[akamifeldman]

I've seen that before, but very funny!

The Three D's of Aviation: Never do anything Dumb, Dangerous, or Different!

 

[Undertow]

PILOT: "CAINS LIGHT COMES ON IN FLIGHT INTERMITTENT"
MAINTAINER: "REPLACE LIGHTBULB OUR BOX WORKS GOOD"

 

[JKD]

Some of them I know are real (or similar to real). As a Plane Captain in VF-103 I saw the "Switch does not work in O.F.F. position" (six or seven position switch, the bottom position is OFF)

I've also seen "abnormal hydraulic leak on right wing" - "right wing leak normal, left wing not leaking - abnormal"